Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

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Faithfree
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Re: Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

Post by Faithfree » Fri Jan 23, 2015 1:48 pm

Clinton Huxley wrote:
Faithfree wrote:What do they taste like?
Vile. Covington, Swann and I ate hundreds during that unfortunate gold mine business. It was either them or some ghastly canned quail Covington had brought with him.
Surely it's a matter of cooking method. I always recommend boiling rhino flesh with a brick in the pot. Once the brick becomes tender you can discard the rhino and eat the brick. It will be rhino flavored.
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Re: Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

Post by Clinton Huxley » Fri Jan 23, 2015 2:10 pm

Their skin makes a low maintenance and waterproof floor covering. Rhinoleum.

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Re: Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

Post by Faithfree » Fri Jan 23, 2015 2:34 pm

Clinton Huxley wrote:Their skin makes a low maintenance and waterproof floor covering. Rhinoleum.
Don't tell the greenies.
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Re: Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

Post by tattuchu » Fri Jan 23, 2015 2:59 pm

Faithfree wrote:
Clinton Huxley wrote:
Faithfree wrote:What do they taste like?
Vile. Covington, Swann and I ate hundreds during that unfortunate gold mine business. It was either them or some ghastly canned quail Covington had brought with him.
Surely it's a matter of cooking method. I always recommend boiling rhino flesh with a brick in the pot. Once the brick becomes tender you can discard the rhino and eat the brick. It will be rhino flavored.
:lol:
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Re: Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

Post by Seth » Sat Jan 24, 2015 12:39 am

Faithfree wrote:
Clinton Huxley wrote:
Faithfree wrote:What do they taste like?
Vile. Covington, Swann and I ate hundreds during that unfortunate gold mine business. It was either them or some ghastly canned quail Covington had brought with him.
Surely it's a matter of cooking method. I always recommend boiling rhino flesh with a brick in the pot. Once the brick becomes tender you can discard the rhino and eat the brick. It will be rhino flavored.
That's like the instructions for cooking and eating carp: Fillet the fish and nail it to a cedar shingle, cook over an open fire till lightly browned, remove carp fillet from shingle, eat shingle.
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Re: Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

Post by Seth » Sat Jan 24, 2015 12:40 am

Scumple wrote:Why not alter the genes of the normal Rhino so they are white? or use bleach even? how would anyone tell the difference?
Racist scum! Black is beautiful!
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Re: Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

Post by Seth » Sat Jan 24, 2015 12:43 am

piscator wrote:
Clinton Huxley wrote:If they'd had guns...

...They'd still be fuckt because they're too near-sighted to see the front sight.... :dunno:
Replace their eyeballs with tiny thermal sensors linked to an automated traverse mechanism such as that used for the Cobra 20mm minigun.

A rhino ought to be able to carry a 20mm minigun and a fair amount of ammo on that solid foundation.
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Re: Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

Post by Seth » Sat Jan 24, 2015 12:43 am

Scumple wrote:Why not alter the genes of the normal Rhino so they are white? or use bleach even? how would anyone tell the difference?
You could make them out of amorphous polymetal....
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Re: Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

Post by JimC » Sat Jan 24, 2015 5:02 am

Stupid asian morons thinking ground rhino horn will make their pathetic little pricks grow stiff...
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Re: Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

Post by Seth » Sat Jan 24, 2015 5:57 am

JimC wrote:Stupid asian morons thinking ground rhino horn will make their pathetic little pricks grow stiff...
Maybe it does...
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Re: Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

Post by trdsf » Sat Jan 24, 2015 1:24 pm

JimC wrote:Stupid asian morons thinking ground rhino horn will make their pathetic little pricks grow stiff...
I think if they really want it, they should have to take it off the living animal. And no, they don't get a gun. Same rule for the ones who think tiger penises will help thme get it up.
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Re: Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

Post by mistermack » Sat Jan 24, 2015 1:34 pm

I would have no compunction in marinating tiger bone and rhino horn in the most lethal poison in the world, and then selling it into the asian market.
Apart from the risk of getting caught.
If I decided to become a serial killer, that's how I'd start.
While there is a market for shit, there will be assholes to supply it.

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Re: Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

Post by laklak » Sat Jan 24, 2015 4:08 pm

At least one private reserve in South Africa is doing just that.

http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/04/09/sou ... -poaching/

Unfortunately it just makes you sick. I'd go for a slow and agonizing death. Micro-encapsulated Ebola virus, perhaps?
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Re: Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

Post by klr » Sat Jan 24, 2015 10:37 pm

Clinton Huxley wrote:
piscator wrote:
Clinton Huxley wrote:If they'd had guns...

...They'd still be fuckt because they're too near-sighted to see the front sight.... :dunno:
Guns and monocles.
Or they could have employed some other animal of suitably lower social standing.
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Re: Only five Northern White Rhino left in the world.

Post by Pappa » Sat Jan 24, 2015 11:32 pm

klr wrote:They are officially fucked then, having long since passed the point of inbreeding depression. Better store their genes or something ...
Not necessarily. Cheetahs supposedly survived an evolutionary bottleneck of only six individuals.

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