Benevolent Sexism

[Gallstones]

I don't see what the problem is with this.
It is about damn time your masculine energy got a clue.
Apology accepted. Just don't do it again.

[Jason]

I don't see what the problem is with this.
It is about damn time.
Apology accepted. Just don't do it again.

I r confuzed. :S

[Gallstones]

I don't see what the problem is with this.
It is about damn time.
Apology accepted. Just don't do it again.

I r confuzed. :S

The video.

[Azathoth]

Men hold doors open for women so they can look at their arses. bollocks to chivalry

[Jason]

I don't see what the problem is with this.
It is about damn time.
Apology accepted. Just don't do it again.

I r confuzed. :S

The video.

Ok, ok, I'll watch it!

... only because one of the important women in my life says so

[Gallstones]

I don't see what the problem is with this.
It is about damn time.
Apology accepted. Just don't do it again.

I r confuzed. :S

The video.

Ok, ok, I'll watch it!

... only because one of the important women in my life says so

Have a barf bag at the ready.


Oh, and Pord............

[Xamonas Chegwé]

Neither my husband nor I are mechanically inclined, so I take care of my car and get my oil changed at the dealer, he takes care of his and goes to Jiffy Lube. On occasion he smears some antifog on my windshield, and on occasion I'll vacumn his car out.

Never have I felt the euphemism stronger, Luke.

[maiforpeace]

Men hold doors open for women so they can look at their arses. bollocks to chivalry

I knew there was a good reason to hold doors open for helpless men!

Neither my husband nor I are mechanically inclined, so I take care of my car and get my oil changed at the dealer, he takes care of his and goes to Jiffy Lube. On occasion he smears some antifog on my windshield, and on occasion I'll vacumn his car out.

Never have I felt the euphemism stronger, Luke.

[JimC]

Yeah, just shut up and find some heavy boxes to lift.

My car needs an oil change too.

LOL - She Who Must Be Obeyed can even get mad at me if her car goes over mileage on the oil change... I'm like "WTF? How hard is it to stop at the Jiffy Lube one while passing by...." But, alas, I am too old and set in my ways....the men take care of the cars...the men take out the garbage...the men mow the lawn...the men fix things, lift things, and build things...and the men take care of the electronics.... Just feels right to me at this stage...

I am a bit like that with the garbage, lawn and home maintenance, but with some variations...

- teenage boys take care of anything high tech... (I will be in deep shit when Nick leaves home)

- Bron takes care of the finances - I don't bother my pretty little head about that...

[klr]

Yeah, just shut up and find some heavy boxes to lift.

My car needs an oil change too.

LOL - She Who Must Be Obeyed can even get mad at me if her car goes over mileage on the oil change... I'm like "WTF? How hard is it to stop at the Jiffy Lube one while passing by...." But, alas, I am too old and set in my ways....the men take care of the cars...the men take out the garbage...the men mow the lawn...the men fix things, lift things, and build things...and the men take care of the electronics.... Just feels right to me at this stage...

I am a bit like that with the garbage, lawn and home maintenance, but with some variations...

- teenage boys take care of anything high tech... (I will be in deep shit when Nick leaves home)

- Bron takes care of the finances - I don't bother my pretty little head about that...

A mathematician that doesn't understand financial numbers?

[Coito ergo sum]

Yeah, just shut up and find some heavy boxes to lift.

My car needs an oil change too.

LOL - She Who Must Be Obeyed can even get mad at me if her car goes over mileage on the oil change... I'm like "WTF? How hard is it to stop at the Jiffy Lube one while passing by...." But, alas, I am too old and set in my ways....the men take care of the cars...the men take out the garbage...the men mow the lawn...the men fix things, lift things, and build things...and the men take care of the electronics.... Just feels right to me at this stage...

Neither my husband nor I are mechanically inclined, so I take care of my car and get my oil changed at the dealer, he takes care of his and goes to Jiffy Lube. On occasion he smears some antifog on my windshield, and on occasion I'll vacumn his car out.

My husband says one of the things that made him fall in love with me is that I was electronically inclined enough to have a full surround sound system before they were mainstream. I wear that badge proudly.

Before I met She Who Must Be Obeyed, she used to take her car to the car wash and vacuum it out herself. As we were dating, I did it a couple of times for her as a sort of a nice thing to do....eventually, the task migrated to me, and now it is just assumed that I'm supposed to do it....

And, I'm opening the door for her to get in the car too. Very sexist of me, I know. She likes it, though. I've known a lot of women who think that's important. I remember a specific incident many years ago when I was going out on a first date with a woman, and I didn't open the car door for her when she got in. She took that very seriously, and I think it set a bad tone for the date and it didn't work out from there. I wasn't even being rude - I had locked my car keys in the car, as was my habit, because I had a key pad entry on the driver door. In order for me to open her door, I would have had to make a show of it, and get my keys out and then run over and open it. I realized then that opening that car door is something SOME women look out for a signal of what the guy is like....

Regarding the holding the door open when going into a building thing. Well, you know - it occurred to me that it would seem alien to me if a woman held the door for me to walk through first. I've had the occasional woman go through the door and hang on to the door so it doesn't slam closed as I'm coming up behind. But, I can't think of a time a woman held the door and stood there as I walked through ahead of her. Wouldn't that seem weird to most folks out there? I would feel uncomfortable. I'd, like, grab the door and say, "no no - after you." It is so ingrained in me to engage in this benevolent sexism that I really don't think I could walk through ahead of a woman in that circumstance.

[Coito ergo sum]

I suppose it becomes benevolent sexism when a man has some preconceived idea of why a woman should be deserving of such chivalry.

The entire act of holding a door open for "a woman" or lifting something for "a woman" is by definition based on a preconceived idea of why a woman should be deserving of such chivalry. Unless a man holds the door non-discriminatorily, for men and women alike, then there must be something about womanhood that makes them deserving of such chivalry. The notion is that that is "how you treat a lady" and that women need to be treated more gingerly than men - it's cultural, I think - and 99% of men out there probably do it out of habit, and a desire to be good to women they like or love, the fact is that the cultural custom of chivalry toward women is absolutely based on preconceived notions about women.

[Jason]

the fact is that the cultural custom of chivalry toward women is absolutely based on preconceived notions about women.

Well that's insightful.

ALL cultural customs are based on preconceived notions. Oh I love the social sciences.

[maiforpeace]

The looking at your ass thing made me think a bit, and in retrospect I can say that lately I have had a few men show benevolent sexism towards me. (I think)

It doesn't make me angry though, I am more amused by it and frankly, happy to take advantage of the benefits.

I go to Ace Hardware a lot for home improvements, and most of the people who work there are men. When I was heavier I didn't get nearly as many offers for help to lift stuff as I do now that I'm thinner.

The irony is that I needed the help more when I was plump and out of shape...now that I'm in good shape I can lift 50 lbs with much more ease and don't need the help.

[Coito ergo sum]

the fact is that the cultural custom of chivalry toward women is absolutely based on preconceived notions about women.

Well that's insightful.

ALL cultural customs are based on preconceived notions. Oh I love the social sciences.

Well, that is pretty much true. And, the point I was trying to make was that if one is only going to be upset by a man holding a door if it's based on a preconceived notion, then, well, I can't see how it isn't based on a preconceived notion, unless it's one of the rare guys who always holds doors open and allows other men to walk through ahead of him, and doesn't just do it for women.