Drama, why look?

[FBM]

Maybe negative stimulation is better than no stimulation at all.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Maybe negative stimulation is better than no stimulation at all.

Maybe, but the shouts of "let there be peace!" don't really help, so it would perhaps be better to ignore such threads completely rather than try to control them.

[Tero]

There are places where you just share recipes and nrw baby problems and hobbies. Those are fine. But even there a dictatorial mod can throw you out forever. Its a shock the first time, only. None of us forum virgins I hope.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

There are places where you just share recipes and nrw baby problems and hobbies. Those are fine. But even there a dictatorial mod can throw you out forever. Its a shock the first time, only. None of us forum virgins I hope.

I got banned from a history forum for using "repeated sarcasm". I was never warned just banned.

[Ronja]

Maybe negative stimulation is better than no stimulation at all.

Maybe, but the shouts of "let there be peace!" don't really help, so it would perhaps be better to ignore such threads completely rather than try to control them.

The trouble is that *sometimes* when the bystanders get their comments just right, those comments *do* help to resolve the situation. Often, but not always such comments are humorous, IME. It's just neigh impossible to predict what kind of comments will help when and with whom...

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Maybe negative stimulation is better than no stimulation at all.

Maybe, but the shouts of "let there be peace!" don't really help, so it would perhaps be better to ignore such threads completely rather than try to control them.

The trouble is that *sometimes* when the bystanders get their comments just right, those comments *do* help to resolve the situation. Often, but not always such comments are humorous, IME. It's just neigh impossible to predict what kind of comments will help when and with whom...

And sometimes they just make it worse, of course. Siege mentality sets in and people bunker down, no longer talking, just reacting. I once had a guy duct-taped to a chair with tape across his mouth so I could tell him where he was going wrong. You could see the boy composing his next statement instead of listening. So I removed the reply function. Then I kept at him until his eyes conveyed that he'd go the message. I know it kept him alive another six months, after that I had no way of knowing.

[Ronja]

Maybe negative stimulation is better than no stimulation at all.

Maybe, but the shouts of "let there be peace!" don't really help, so it would perhaps be better to ignore such threads completely rather than try to control them.

The trouble is that *sometimes* when the bystanders get their comments just right, those comments *do* help to resolve the situation. Often, but not always such comments are humorous, IME. It's just neigh impossible to predict what kind of comments will help when and with whom...

And sometimes they just make it worse, of course. Siege mentality sets in and people bunker down, no longer talking, just reacting.

Yeah, there's that.

[FBM]

Cultural evolution is faster than biological evolution. What is adaptive behavior today can be maladaptive behavior next week, and will almost certainly be so at some point in the future. People do what they are conditioned to do. Asking why people do this or that is ultimately equivalent to asking what enviornmental pressures resulted in this adaptive behavior, and why it has become maladaptive. To get that answer, you need only research the relevant history, I think.

[Robert_S]

Sometimes giving a person a face-saving can save so much misery.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Sometimes giving a person a face-saving can save so much misery.

Or just shooting them.

[Robert_S]

Sometimes giving a person a face-saving can save so much misery.

Or just shooting them.

Depends, bullets ain't always cheap and I got bills to pay.

I meant to say "face-saving out".

People backed into a corner seem to be prone to fight for some reason.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Sometimes giving a person a face-saving can save so much misery.

Or just shooting them.

Depends, bullets ain't always cheap and I got bills to pay.

I meant to say "face-saving out".

People backed into a corner seem to be prone to fight for some reason.

I always have.

"Face" caused millions of Japan to die rather than surrender in WWII alone.

[floppit]

II think the dramas that upset me are those where it's clear one person is REALLY hurting and that viseral rawness is either, missed, willfully ignored or even cashed in on, especially where there's a multiple on one side and someone's getting isolated. It doesn't even have to be someone I like. I can think of one instance when someone I had no time for seemed to be stuck replying endlessly through a night and it di look so painful. I read it in the morning and whether I clicked out or stayed there the feeling was going to stay till either it waas resolved or time does it'ss thing.

In those instances I click back or post hoping that peace has broken out, not to leave with the sad still somewhere in my mind.

I get why people leave forums - I left a few, just because it wasn't where I wanted to spend time. I think dramas can have that effect despite how popular they might look.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I get why people leave forums - I left a few, just because it wasn't where I wanted to spend time. I think dramas can have that effect despite how popular they might look.

That's really my question here. Why give up on the entire forum because one thread is a mad house?

[floppit]

I'm not sure I have left a forum because of one thread, just that it doesn't matter what makes someone not want to spend time round a group of people, if they don't they don't.

I think really hurting threads can have that effect. I think there are other times in our lives when it's been us singled out and memories has a part to play.

I don't care much if there's a barny between 2 people, it's when it's fecking obvious one is feeling really hurt, I don't mean mad, but off it on that day, not ok on that day.