International Zombie Day

[Atheist-Lite]

[Aos Si]

Fuck yeah my trusty zombie kit is all ready so along with the make a zombie kit and keep it handy here are a few tips:

Tips for fighting off the inevitable zombie hordes at this festive time of year Praise Jeesus!

1) Shotguns are good, automatic shotguns with under barrel grenade launchers are better
2) An axe is always a good idea in a pinch, knives are for idiots
3) don't go into the fucking cellar you moron!
4) don't be black, seriously, if you are black shoot yourself in the head now and save Romero the trouble of writing the scene where you get torn apart by zombies
5) If they are slow zombies keep running, if they are fast, never stop
6) dont stop to admire your handywork, even if that head did come apart like a water melon, there will be time for that later, well hopefully. Better to cripplingly unfunny than dead funny.
7) you do have time to bleed no matter what you say, about 6 minutes if its a major artery otherwise somewhat longer. You were not born ready, neither did you punch the midwife on the way out.
8) see 7) zombies are not impressed by pithy witicisms, like he had a bad hair day, or he had to step out, what a crushing bore, at crunch moments, save the heroic dialogue for when you are safe.
9) if someone has a large bite wound on their neck, don't believe the story about it being a shaving cut. Gun them down and then check the story out.
10) don't wander around like a lemon looking for survivors, stay indoors and don't go out unless you are Will Smith. And then bear in mind rule number 4.
11) Shopping malls are groovy and a good place to try on clothes, zombies make excellent clothes horses.
12) Shopping malls have guns in the US, if you live anywhere else with sensible gun laws, who's having the last laugh now you schmuck!
12) Don't be a hero, there are plenty of dead heroes, but plenty more living cowards, run you idiot!
13) Women seem somewhat immune to zombies for some odd reason, ie they are less likely to die than men particularly if they are sleeping with you. I don't how it works but be a fuck bunny and meh use them as human shields
13a) if she has a gun looks like she can use it, then by all means let here do the heroic stuff, screw role models and antequated standards. If she's hot as well then well see 13)
14) Body armour looks good, doing a Rambo is all very well but nothing stops a bite like knife proof armour.
15) Looking cool will not mean you live longer, if anything your own hubris will probably get you canned
16) Never go back for the guy in trouble, if he's got his arm off, then run
17) Baked beans, tinned fruit, you know what I'm talking about. Fuck haute cuisine. See 10) some things are necessary and maybe 11) and 12) too.
18) Tanks are nice
19) So are army bases for the same reason, unless of course they happen to be the source of the problem.
20) Bad acting is only necessary in films.
21) Queen rocks
22) Don't go out at night you fricking idiot, even if you are Will Smith, see rule 4)
23) No pooftahs
24) Sorry Monty Python joke, couldn't resist it

There's more but that's a shortened urban sirvival guide to the Zombie festivites, and it doubles up for the zombie apocalypse, when a load of self righteous idiots come back as zombies.

And remember Jesus might have died for your sins, but if he's coming back for your delicious brains, then he's going to die for your sins again. Fucker. You don't owe that guy shit.

What you gonna do when they come for you?

EDIT: bloody Nazis they're worse than the Nazis and comparable in every way. Godwin card played.

[AshtonBlack]

Mauls are good for hitting heads. Malls are good for shopping. /grammarnazi.

[Aos Si]

Mauls are good for hitting heads. Malls are good for shopping. /grammarnazi.

Plays dyslexia card.

[Pappa]

So, I should take my axe with me for the next few days?

[Aos Si]

So, I should take my axe with me for the next few days?

I'd invest in full body armour (make sure it's the knife proof stuff) and an auto shotgun, and a few badlricks, and banderos myself, I like mines and grenades too, specially claymores. You'll look like a complete cock but then you'll be a living cock so who cares.

[Pappa]

So, I should take my axe with me for the next few days?

I'd invest in full body armour (make sure it's the knife proof stuff) and an auto shotgun, and a few badlricks, and banderos myself, I like mines and grenades too, specially claymores. You'll look like a complete cock but then you'll be a living cock so who cares.

No way. I could never enjoy a zombie apocalypse properly if I covered myself in armour and used guns. Melee weapons only for me, though Rachel can bring a gun if she wants.

http://rationalia.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=22222

[Aos Si]

So, I should take my axe with me for the next few days?

I'd invest in full body armour (make sure it's the knife proof stuff) and an auto shotgun, and a few badlricks, and banderos myself, I like mines and grenades too, specially claymores. You'll look like a complete cock but then you'll be a living cock so who cares.

No way. I could never enjoy a zombie apocalypse properly if I covered myself in armour and used guns. Melee weapons only on my zombie killing team.

Yeah when I roll passed in tanks and mechanised infantry and the gunships blow your dumb ass Indiana Jones hat off, I'll be laughing my ass off but hey go with it, as long as you aren't black who knows you may even survive?

Deck mounted uber Machine guns with 1 milion rounds pm are holy. And rail guns aren't bad either, particularly if they fire blades.



plenty of ammo would be good too.

[Atheist-Lite]