....Hell hath no rage like a woman scorned...

[Coito ergo sum]

[
The amazing wedding cake Kristie made:

I am getting aroused just looking at it...

[Kristie]

[
The amazing wedding cake Kristie made:

I am getting aroused just looking at it...

Yeah, I'm that good.

[Coito ergo sum]

[JacksSmirkingRevenge]

[eXcommunicate]

Well, you all know how elaborate the wedding of 'Zilla and Ayaan was.

And, do you know how memorable that experience was for me? I can picture the whole wedding so clearly, it was the most unique one I ever attended!

I've been to some costly weddings, and I don't really recall any of them because they were all the same, generic thing.

The only thing a wedding needs to be really awesome is an open bar with top shelf liquor. People expect the food to suck, so sucky food will never be below expectations. While the centerpieces and decor might get a few comments about how nice they are, they will never compensate for a cash bar or one that turns into a cash bar at an early hour. And, if the centerpieces and decor are poor, as long as people have a good time they'll remember the wedding fondly.

We had plenty of alcohol. Before the wedding, lunch was a cookout at our house. Afterwards, we went to a local Mexican restaurant for some more good food and Margaritas. We didn't decorate at all. The whole plan for the weekend was for everyone to have fun! I've seen too many weddings where everyone was miserable because the bride (and it is usually the bride) was so hung up on everything being absolutely perfect on 'her big day.' We knew perfect wasn't in the cards. Really, in a few years, do these women actually think people are going to remember that the flowers and napkins weren't both the exact same shade of pink or that the bridesmaids were wearing different shades of lipstick?

Sounds brilliant.

[Warren Dew]

Personally, I think it's ludicrous to spend that much money on a wedding, so they are both idiots.

While we apparently spent considerably less than the average amount for our wedding, it did come to roughly $250 per guest. Considering how often we still get people enthusiastically remarking, ten years later, on how much they enjoyed our wedding, I think it was money well spent. There are some U.S. subcultures where weddings with several hundred guests aren't at all uncommon, at which point $90,000 doesn't seem too extreme.

And Coito, I've had some excellent food at weddings. If you haven't, perhaps you aren't being invited to the right weddings.

[Coito ergo sum]

And Coito, I've had some excellent food at weddings. If you haven't, perhaps you aren't being invited to the right weddings.

Perhaps that's true. Neither of us can know for sure. Conceivably, my definition of what is excellent food may well be higher than yours. Or, as far as we know, you may well have just had the good luck to be invited to a few weddings at which the food was "excellent."

Generally speaking, though, my experience is that the food at weddings leaves a little bit to be desired, especially in light of the per plate cost.

I do enjoy weddings, though. I always attend the ceremony, if at all possible. But, my favorite part of the reception is the bar and the party. The meal generally, IMHO, just gets in the way.

For the average person, though, a $20,000 wedding is excessive. In the US, the average annual income is about $40,000 or so. So, we're talking about dropping $20,000 on the reception, and $4,000 on an engagement ring (mean cost of an engagement ring is just under $4,000.

So, just the cost of the reception and the engagement ring - $24,000 - for the average person in the US - the expenditure is a waste of money, and makes no financial sense whatsoever. Spending 10% of annual salary on a ring, and 1/2 an annual salary on a party....

[Robert_S]

I take it as a sign that most marriages are fucking shams. Why would a couple with an honest desire to make something of their lives together feel that much of a need to put on a show like that? Reminds me of some military saying about uniforms and victories,

[Warren Dew]

Perhaps that's true. Neither of us can know for sure. Conceivably, my definition of what is excellent food may well be higher than yours. Or, as far as we know, you may well have just had the good luck to be invited to a few weddings at which the food was "excellent."

I've certainly also been to weddings where the food was, let's say, average. On the other hand, they were almost certainly spending a lot less on the catering. I still enjoyed myself.

Spending 10% of annual salary on a ring, and 1/2 an annual salary on a party....

I think you're underestimating the value of the "party". Even if you ignore the fact that the guests are getting value out of it, and only count what the couple get, it can be a lot. A typical wedding gift - say a place setting of china or silver - is often one or two hundred dollars; that can add up quick. Of course, the main value is the goodwill - relatives who now know who you are and are happy to let you stay with them or such. And while this may not be the case with the wedding in the original post, when I think of $90,000 weddings featuring Italian names, the goodwill involved might mean that people talk something out rather than hiring hit men, which could be worth a lot - good hit men are expensive, you know.

The other thing to keep in mind is that most of the more expensive weddings are paid for by the parents of the bride rather than by the couple getting married. That's why a lot of the guest list is often from the parents' generation. The reception is often a big party thrown by the parents in honor of the bride, rather than actually being thrown by the couple getting married.

[Coito ergo sum]

Perhaps that's true. Neither of us can know for sure. Conceivably, my definition of what is excellent food may well be higher than yours. Or, as far as we know, you may well have just had the good luck to be invited to a few weddings at which the food was "excellent."

I've certainly also been to weddings where the food was, let's say, average. On the other hand, they were almost certainly spending a lot less on the catering. I still enjoyed myself.

Spending 10% of annual salary on a ring, and 1/2 an annual salary on a party....

I think you're underestimating the value of the "party". Even if you ignore the fact that the guests are getting value out of it, and only count what the couple get, it can be a lot. A typical wedding gift - say a place setting of china or silver - is often one or two hundred dollars; that can add up quick. Of course, the main value is the goodwill - relatives who now know who you are and are happy to let you stay with them or such. And while this may not be the case with the wedding in the original post, when I think of $90,000 weddings featuring Italian names, the goodwill involved might mean that people talk something out rather than hiring hit men, which could be worth a lot - good hit men are expensive, you know.

The other thing to keep in mind is that most of the more expensive weddings are paid for by the parents of the bride rather than by the couple getting married. That's why a lot of the guest list is often from the parents' generation. The reception is often a big party thrown by the parents in honor of the bride, rather than actually being thrown by the couple getting married.

All that is well-taken. Sure, to each his or her own, and if the participants value the party for all the reasons you stated and more, then more power to them.

When we think of all the ways, however, in which folks of "average" salaries are supposed to be unable to afford various things, it seems to me incongruous that the "average" cost of a wedding could be $20,000 to $30,000. Anyone unable to afford basic subsistence items (such as health insurance) or working paycheck to paycheck, would be well-served to not have the wedding reception and instead keep the money or take the money as a gift.