....Hell hath no rage like a woman scorned...

[Coito ergo sum]

A gal in LA once sued a guy for not showing up at the wedding. The attorney told the court that death was not an excuse. It was thrown out, somewhat to my surprise. I couldn't figure how it got on the docket in the first place.

All that is required to get on the docket is to file a complaint, have a summons issued, pay the filing fees and serve it on the defendant. So, anything can get on the docket.

[Coito ergo sum]

Weak story.

The average wedding today costs $29 - $35 K, so those costs aren't unreasonable if you live in the posh side of Chicago or are aspiring nouveau riche. The most outrageous cost on that list is the venue.

The article says nothing about whether the groom agreed to pay those expenses, in whole or in part. I was the owner of a catering business for 15 years. The catering is always the largest expense, so I was often party to how prospective couples managed the financial decisions. I can't tell you how many times I heard "Honey, I want you to have the wedding of your dreams...whatever you want!" when the bride deferred to the groom on expenses. Sounds like a contract to me. Watch the Wedding Cake show on WE (it's actually quite interesting if you like to watch how it's made type shows) and in the segment where the baker consults with their client, it's never the bride making the decision about the cake alone and unilaterally, couples almost always make those decisions together.

If he made a general agreement to pay for costs, whether in whole or in part I think he's obligated to meet that agreement. If he wasn't paying attention to the exorbitant bills she was racking up, and he decides to back out of the wedding, that doesn't release him from his financial obligations. However, I don't think she should get any money for emotional distress.

Personally, I think it's ludicrous to spend that much money on a wedding, so they are both idiots. Without all the facts of the case (which surprises me coming from you CES, with your keen legal mind ) the title of the article alternatively could be "Groom Breaks Oral Agreement to Pay Wedding Costs".

You're a bit high on the cost of the wedding, on average. According to this website, it's about $20,000, give or take. http://www.theweddingreport.com/

I think you are right - if he made an agreement to pay for costs, then he's obligated to meet that agreement. If he was paying attention to the exorbitant bills being racked up, then yes he should still be obligated, unless he was not reasonably informed of those fees. If she simply took it upon herself to rack up exorbitant fees and didn't notify him in advance (unless he agreed that she had carte blanche to spend anything). The key when we're talking about agreements is "what are the terms." My guess is that both parties will have decidedly different recollections about what was verbally agreed.

I chose the title of the thread from a blurb in the article itself. I did not choose it as the most appropriate title. It was, like I said, from the article itself.

The facts of the case are always determinative, Mai, so yes I agree with you wholeheartedly. News reports on legal matters are invariably incorrect or incomplete. Maybe the guy is a dick.

Frankly, though, my bigger concern is that the "average" wedding and reception costs $20,000 - and worse, if your number is right - $30,000 or more. I mean - come on. Take that money, stick it in an IRA and let it earn interest for 40 years in a safe investment, and the bride and groom would be much happier. What a total waste. Even "expensive" weddings that I've gone to typically aren't worth even the average sum of money. The hall, even a fancy hall, is just a room to have a party in, and the food generally is relatively poor. Much better food can be had for 1/2 the price at nice restaurants. The table settings cost thousands and they amount to junk.

Weddings are stupid, and the whole exercise is a throwback to more paternalistic times. The father "giving away" the bride. The "best man" ready to take the groom's place (symbolically nowadays, but literally in olden times) if something happens to the groom. The bridesmaid longing to catch the bouquet so that she would be blessed with the next marriage. The bride wearing virginal white, pledging herself to "obey" the man - "I now pronounce you 'man' and 'wife..'" - The man buys the woman with an engagement ring, and she has no similar obligation to buy him with a gift - she is the gift. The wedding is "her big day..." -- for etiquette purposes, the groom is "congratulated" and you say "I'm so happy for you" to the bride.....Some of it has softened over the years, but it pretty much is still a sexist throwback....

[Coito ergo sum]

You better not stand as a best man either.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/2 ... 99487.html

What're the odds on there having been an affair between the best man and the bride....?

[Feck]

Fury ...not 'rage' that's as bad as 'Happy' Christmas

[Coito ergo sum]

Fury ...not 'rage' that's as bad as 'Happy' Christmas

Oops, you're right - I conflated the parts of the quote. It's "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned; Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."

[Feck]

Fury ...not 'rage' that's as bad as 'Happy' Christmas

Oops, you're right - I conflated the parts of the quote. It's "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned; Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."

oops .....pedant moment from me

[lordpasternack]

That is a ridiculous amount to spend on a wedding. There are ways to have a lovely, sentimental, sincere event to declare deep love for another person without all that pomp and glamour. I look forward to getting married some day (though I have no idea who to yet), because I'm really quite soppy and romantic at heart - but I couldn't have it so ridiculously extravagant.

I'd also like the idea of wearing a nice scarlet wedding dress as a wry kind of gesture, actually. And I'd be pretty disappointed if someone then refused to marry me, but I'd feel if I then tried to sue the guy, I'd be justifying his choice to bail out, frankly!

[maiforpeace]

That is a ridiculous amount to spend on a wedding. There are ways to have a lovely, sentimental, sincere event to declare deep love for another person without all that pomp and glamour. I look forward to getting married some day (though I have no idea who to yet), because I'm really quite soppy and romantic at heart - but I couldn't have it so ridiculously extravagant.

I'd also like the idea of wearing a nice scarlet wedding dress as a wry kind of gesture, actually. And I'd be pretty disappointed if someone then refused to marry me, but I'd feel if I then tried to sue the guy, I'd be justifying his choice to bail out, frankly!

Red is the traditional color for a wedding dress in Asian countries. White is for funerals.

Makes sense too (well, not for you ), because if you are a virgin and you have your cherry popped that day, you won't stain your dress!

[Santa_Claus]

my wedding cost under £300. including rings.

it wasn't a big do

[Meekychuppet]

To see this when crimes like paternity fraud go unpunished is a little ripe to say the least.

[maiforpeace]

my wedding cost under £300. including rings.

it wasn't a big do

I'll see your wedding and lower it...my wedding was the cost of the marriage license, some flowers, and dinner out in a restaurant.

We decided we would have a big bash on our 15th wedding anniversary - that's when it makes sense, to me, to spend the money in celebration of staying together that long.

[Meekychuppet]

my wedding cost under £300. including rings.

it wasn't a big do

I'll see your wedding and lower it...my wedding was the cost of the marriage license, some flowers, and dinner out in a restaurant.

We decided we would have a big bash on our 15th wedding anniversary - that's when it makes sense, to me, to spend the money in celebration of staying together that long.

I've always thought that. Massive weddings seem to be a mechanism of social pressure to me.

[maiforpeace]

my wedding cost under £300. including rings.

it wasn't a big do

I'll see your wedding and lower it...my wedding was the cost of the marriage license, some flowers, and dinner out in a restaurant.

We decided we would have a big bash on our 15th wedding anniversary - that's when it makes sense, to me, to spend the money in celebration of staying together that long.

I've always thought that. Massive weddings seem to be a mechanism of social pressure to me.

Not only that, but in many ways I think massive weddings can contribute to the downfall of a marriage. You do this big build-up to a fantasy day where you are the star, then there's the huge let down after the wedding when you are a nobody again saddled with a mountain of wedding debt. Next to sex and children, money woes are the leading cause of divorce.

EDIT:

Apparently money is the primary reason for divorce.

[Ayaan]

Well, you all know how elaborate the wedding of 'Zilla and Ayaan was.

[lordpasternack]

Well, you all know how elaborate the wedding of 'Zilla and Ayaan was.

I wonder if I spent more just on getting there...?

I wouldn't have missed it for the world, by the way. And I'll be back next July for the anniversary, with a vengeance.