The Ask A Carpenter Thread.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

WB has volunteered to answer our questions about woodworking in general. (Or at least he will when he opens the PM telling him he has volunteered.)

First up. I have installed some shelves on the deck. Now I want to clean up the original wood so that there isn't so much contrast between the new bits and the old. What would you suggest?

[Pensioner]

WB has volunteered to answer our questions about woodworking in general. (Or at least he will when he opens the PM telling him he has volunteered.)

First up. I have installed some shelves on the deck. Now I want to clean up the original wood so that there isn't so much contrast between the new bits and the old. What would you suggest?

Paint the fuckers, job done.

[devogue]

WB has volunteered to answer our questions about woodworking in general. (Or at least he will when he opens the PM telling him he has volunteered.)

First up. I have installed some shelves on the deck. Now I want to clean up the original wood so that there isn't so much contrast between the new bits and the old. What would you suggest?

Paint the fuckers, job done.

Pay someone else to paint the fuckers.

[Pensioner]

WB has volunteered to answer our questions about woodworking in general. (Or at least he will when he opens the PM telling him he has volunteered.)

First up. I have installed some shelves on the deck. Now I want to clean up the original wood so that there isn't so much contrast between the new bits and the old. What would you suggest?

Paint the fuckers, job done.

Pay someone else to paint the fuckers.

Rich bastard.

[devogue]

WB has volunteered to answer our questions about woodworking in general. (Or at least he will when he opens the PM telling him he has volunteered.)

First up. I have installed some shelves on the deck. Now I want to clean up the original wood so that there isn't so much contrast between the new bits and the old. What would you suggest?

Paint the fuckers, job done.

Pay someone else to paint the fuckers.

Rich bastard.

Tight fucker.

[Clinton Huxley]

set fire to it all. It'll all be the same colour when you put the fire out AND you get to set fire to something

[Pensioner]

set fire to it all. It'll all be the same colour when you put the fire out AND you get to set fire to something

Now why did I not think of that, because I have brain maybe.

[Clinton Huxley]

set fire to it all. It'll all be the same colour when you put the fire out AND you get to set fire to something

Now why did I not think of that, because I have brain maybe.

Brain? You kept that quiet!

[Pensioner]

WB has volunteered to answer our questions about woodworking in general. (Or at least he will when he opens the PM telling him he has volunteered.)

First up. I have installed some shelves on the deck. Now I want to clean up the original wood so that there isn't so much contrast between the new bits and the old. What would you suggest?

Paint the fuckers, job done.

Pay someone else to paint the fuckers.

Rich bastard.

Tight fucker.

Unlike your arse so I have been told by one of your friends.

[Pensioner]

set fire to it all. It'll all be the same colour when you put the fire out AND you get to set fire to something

Now why did I not think of that, because I have brain maybe.

Brain? You kept that quiet!

I agree I followed you into battle.

[Bella Fortuna]

set fire to it all. It'll all be the same colour when you put the fire out AND you get to set fire to something

Now why did I not think of that, because I have brain maybe.

Brain? You kept that quiet!

I think the emphasis is on the 'maybe.'

[Pensioner]

set fire to it all. It'll all be the same colour when you put the fire out AND you get to set fire to something

Now why did I not think of that, because I have brain maybe.

Brain? You kept that quiet!

I think the emphasis is on the 'maybe.'

[Clinton Huxley]

set fire to it all. It'll all be the same colour when you put the fire out AND you get to set fire to something

Now why did I not think of that, because I have brain maybe.

Brain? You kept that quiet!

I agree I followed you into battle.

I make sure never to be followed into battle. That would mean I was near the front

[Xamonas Chegwé]

I have a question.

From the perspective of a carpenter, would it be better to heed the advice of the archangel Gabriel and immediately flee to Egypt for 3 years after your wife gives birth, or, should you just ignore this advice (acting as if you never received it) and return to Nazareth via Jerusalem, after allowing for the customary period of cleansing for your woman after she sullies herself with childbirth?

Could you also explain how, if you choose the first option, Simeon gets to bless your child, in Jerusalem? Just curious.

Also, and yes, I realise that this is now three questions - sorry! Did you realise that the little bastard isn't even yours? I mean, it must be fucking obvious seeing as the mother never let you near her 'parting of the Red Sea'. And do you really believe all that guff about "God" sticking a kid up her? I mean, per-leeeeeease! Just how fucking gullible are carpenters? And YES, I do realise that is now 5 questions, so fucking what? (That last question mark makes it 6 btw. )

And while we're at it, why not have a seventh question, eh? Why did you never make sure that Karen fucking well ate something?

[Gawdzilla Sama]