Holy Crap!
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Tigger
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by Tigger » Mon Apr 19, 2010 10:50 am
Normal wrote:Animavore wrote:Normal wrote:Animavore wrote:Normal wrote:I think Allah is a bit of a pervert, because he spent half an hour watching me masturbate yesterday
It's worse than that. Allah is boss around here. Nothing happens unless he wills it. Allah made you masturbate by his own hand.
Shit. He is super-gay! I feel violated!
Hmm.. I suppose Allah made me write this as well!
Nothing happens unless he permits or orders it. Meaning Allah is making me write this reply to you written by Him Himself so not only is he self-depreciating he also talks to himself like a madman.
This is really enlightening! I think I may be the new prophet...
That'll do. I'm in.
Seth wrote:Fuck that, I like opening Pandora's box and shoving my tool inside it
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Animavore
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by Animavore » Mon Apr 19, 2010 10:51 am
Thinking Aloud wrote:Animavore wrote:Normal wrote:Animavore wrote:Normal wrote:I think Allah is a bit of a pervert, because he spent half an hour watching me masturbate yesterday
It's worse than that. Allah is boss around here. Nothing happens unless he wills it. Allah made you masturbate by his own hand.
Shit. He is super-gay! I feel violated!
Hmm.. I suppose Allah made me write this as well!
Nothing happens unless he permits or orders it. Meaning Allah is making me write this reply to you written by Him Himself so not only is he self-depreciating he also talks to himself like a madman.
Hang on - so he's making us write stuff that says he doesn't exist even though he does and so is making us condemn ourselves by his own actions so that ... oh hhhh hhhhhhh...
Yes. And by condemning us he condemns his own actions because it is he himself who ordered them.
Libertarianism: The belief that out of all the terrible things governments can do, helping people is the absolute worst.
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Thinking Aloud
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by Thinking Aloud » Mon Apr 19, 2010 10:53 am
Tigger wrote:Normal wrote:
This is really enlightening! I think I may be the new prophet...
That'll do. I'm in.
All this bowing and stuff is just symbolically
emulating fellatio. As a real-life prophet you might as well demand the real thing. Marky's avatar will do.
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by beige » Mon Apr 19, 2010 10:54 am
Animavore wrote:Yes. And by condemning us he condemns his own actions because it is he himself who ordered them.
Hmm, those pesky interventionist Gods really do cause problems for us pesky humans.
In the best laid plans of history lie the ruins of the past
And a chronicle of suffering shows the mythic pall they cast
To believe is true religion, but to see is truth at last
Oh no, too late to hold a trial, time doesn't wait for the watchmaker's dial
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by normal » Mon Apr 19, 2010 10:59 am
Allah has spoken to me. In clear words he said: "It is OK to eat bacon, in fact it is mandatory for all believers! Every day is bacon day!"
Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
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Tigger
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by Tigger » Mon Apr 19, 2010 10:59 am
Thinking Aloud wrote:Tigger wrote:Normal wrote:
This is really enlightening! I think I may be the new prophet...
That'll do. I'm in.
All this bowing and stuff is just symbolically
emulating fellatio. As a real-life prophet you might as well demand the real thing. Marky's avatar will do.
I don't mind that though.
Seth wrote:Fuck that, I like opening Pandora's box and shoving my tool inside it
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by Thinking Aloud » Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:01 am
Normal wrote:Allah has spoken to me. In clear words he said: "It is OK to eat bacon, in fact it is mandatory for all believers! Every day is bacon day!"
I hope he told you that Mo's claim to be the last and final, never to be replaced, prophet was one of those times where Satan was whispering naughty things in his ear, and not a genuine message from the boss. Otherwise I foresee schisms of ... um ... Biblical proportions.
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by CJ » Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:02 am
Oh yea of little faith! Is the word of The Loaf so quickly dismissed
Humans thy name is Fickle.
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by Animavore » Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:04 am
Normal wrote:Allah has spoken to me. In clear words he said: "It is OK to eat bacon, in fact it is mandatory for all believers! Every day is bacon day!"
]Are you sure it wasn't an epileptic seizure?
Libertarianism: The belief that out of all the terrible things governments can do, helping people is the absolute worst.
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by normal » Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:05 am
Thinking Aloud wrote:Normal wrote:Allah has spoken to me. In clear words he said: "It is OK to eat bacon, in fact it is mandatory for all believers! Every day is bacon day!"
I hope he told you that Mo's claim to be the last and final, never to be replaced, prophet was one of those times where Satan was whispering naughty things in his ear, and not a genuine message from the boss. Otherwise I foresee schisms of ... um ... Biblical proportions.
Yes, Mohamed was doing a good job for his first period as prophet, but he was actually hired by Satan after a few years. That's when all the craziness started. Marrying children, ordering harsh punishments, etc. Allah wants you to know that he is not responsible for all the stupid, childish stuff. That was all Satan
Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
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beige
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by beige » Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:08 am
Normal wrote:That was all Satan
Pfft, yeah blame it on me as always.
In the best laid plans of history lie the ruins of the past
And a chronicle of suffering shows the mythic pall they cast
To believe is true religion, but to see is truth at last
Oh no, too late to hold a trial, time doesn't wait for the watchmaker's dial
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by klr » Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:13 am
I don't know about the rest of you, but all this philosophizing is making me hungry ...
God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion. - Superintendent Chalmers
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by Pappa » Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:20 am
klr wrote:I don't know about the rest of you, but all this philosophizing is making me hungry ...
That chart doesn't mention the word bacon.
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by klr » Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:24 am
Pappa wrote:klr wrote:I don't know about the rest of you, but all this philosophizing is making me hungry ...
That chart doesn't mention the word bacon.
So, you're saying all True Believers can safely tuck in to some delicious ham sandwiches?
God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion. - Superintendent Chalmers
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cock-eyed! - Rex Banner
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson
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by Thinking Aloud » Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:26 am
I hope we're not
harassing our fellow forum member here with deliberate intent to upset.
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