Protestants were invented after the Great Fiddling Schism of 1521
Across the Anglican, Presbyterian and Baptist communities clergymen with a warped desire for young boys insisted they were 'every bit as degenerate' as their Papist rivals.
The leading protestant denominations are now calling on the media to switch its attention to their dirty record to counter what they claim is millions of pounds worth of free publicity for the Roman Catholic Church.
One Welsh Baptist minister said: "I feel I'm being sidelined simply because I do not idolise the Virgin Mary and go on and on about johnny bags.
"It's typical pro-Catholic media bias. I wonder if people would pay more attention to my desperate acts of filth if there was some kind of Baptist Pope in Swansea."
He added: "A lot of these Roman Catholic chaps are frustrated by their celibacy and then channel it through their acts of vile depravity. But I've got wife I can have sex with - I don't even need to do this. That's got to count for something."
But a Vatican spokesman rejected the protestant claims adding: "It's often said that there is no such thing as bad publicity. But there is, and it's this."
Meanwhile people calling for the Pope to resign have been reminded that he is not a football manager.
Theologian, Professor Nathan Muir, said: "The authority of the Roman Catholic Church is, to a very large extent, based on the concept of apostolic succession and infallibility of the Papacy. That means that if he's wrong, then it's wrong and if it's wrong then God's wrong. And I'm not paid enough to get involved in that kind of shit."
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 003292599/
