My Personal Letter from Theresa May

[Alan B]

I have just received a letter addressed to me by name from Theresa May.

Has anyone else received one? If this has been repeated for every household, it must have cost a fortune - could have been better spent on the NHS...

She goes on about Brexit being central to my security and prosperity without explaining how. She goes further using more emotive language with no substance.
She claims "By going to Brussels with a strong negotiating hand I can ensure we guarantee our economic security." She then equates this with 'better jobs', 'affordable housing', 'good school places for every child', 'strong economy' and a 'strong NHS'.

Then comes the alternative to her is a 'hung parliament' and a 'coalition of chaos with Jeremy Corbyn'. This will then - according to her - result in "higher taxes, fewer jobs, more waste and more debt." Etc., etc., etc.

What is interesting is whoever put this letter together researched that I vote by post and added a personal touch by addressing me by my first name. Bleeding cheek!

One word - smarmy!

Edit. It has just occurred to me that since I have hidden my details on the Electoral Register, the originators of this letter appear to have unauthorised access. Unless, of course, the postal voting preference is not hidden.

[pErvinalia]

I'd draw dick pics on her face and then 'return to sender'.

[Forty Two]

You'd do better with a hanged parliament.

[laklak]

Did she send any sporty photographs? Nudge nudge wink wink.

[Brian Peacock]

You must be in a marginal seat Alan.

Did you know that if you say 'strong and stable government' backwards three times into a mirror at midnight the real Teresa May appears on her knees before you.

[Alan B]

Perhaps tomorrow's post will reveal some more recipients?

[Collector1337]

She goes on about Brexit being central to my security and prosperity without explaining how.

If you can't see how Brexit is good for you, then you can't be very bright.

[Hermit]

She goes on about Brexit being central to my security and prosperity without explaining how.

If you can't see how Brexit is good for you, then you can't be very bright.

Sproing

[JimC]

I hope you get a bulk buy discount on your irony meters, Hermit...

[pErvinalia]

I hope you get a bulk buy discount on your irony meters, Hermit...

[Hermit]

I hope you get a bulk buy discount on your irony meters, Hermit...

Yeah, the likes of Collector, Dodo and 42 have busted a lot of them with their posts. Lackey disguises most of his PIMDs as jocularities and Tranny's fascism is just too 1930s era to make them effective Posts of Irony Meter Destruction.

[rainbow]

She goes on about Brexit being central to my security and prosperity without explaining how.

If you can't see how Brexit is good for you, then you can't be very bright.

Of course it will be good for us.

Visiting the UK will be dirt cheap as the pound collapses, and we will get far fewer smelly Brits over here as they won't be able to afford to travel.

Nope, I can't see the downside, me.

[mistermack]

Did she say that she'll make Britain great again?

Of course, if Scotland fucks off, Britain can be REALLY great again. Oh, and NIR. We'll keep the Welsh, they're all right.
I can't wait.

[Alan B]

Did she say that she'll make Britain great again?

Of course, if Scotland fucks off, Britain can be REALLY great again. Oh, and NIR. We'll keep the Welsh, they're all right.
I can't wait.

Then we will have to change our name from Great Britain to, let me see, er, 'Poundland'?

[Alan B]

She goes on about Brexit being central to my security and prosperity without explaining how.

If you can't see how Brexit is good for you, then you can't be very bright.

Really? What a cuntish stupid thing to say.