'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

User avatar
cronus
Black Market Analyst
Posts: 18122
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:09 pm
About me: Illis quos amo deserviam
Location: United Kingdom
Contact:

'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

Post by cronus » Mon Jan 26, 2015 4:30 pm

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science ... clude.html

'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position, scientists conclude
By Sarah Knapton, Science Editor

It might have emancipated women from the drudgery of the 'Missionary Position', but it seems that men are paying a painful price for revolution in the bedroom.
"Woman on top" is the most dangerous sex position, according to a new scientific study.

Scientists have found that the position, dubbed "cowgirl", is responsible for half of all penile fractures in the bedroom.
The research also revealed that the "doggy-style" position, with women on all fours, is behind 29 per cent of afflictions.
In contrast, the traditional "man on top" is responsible for just 21 per cent.

Doctors and academics looked at patients attending three A&E units with suspected "penile fractures" over a 13 year period.
Half of them reported hearing a crack before experiencing pain, with some also suffering swelling.
Their average age was 34 and some of the men waited up to six hours before seeking medical help.

The research concluded: "Our study supports the fact that sexual intercourse with 'woman on top' is the potentially riskiest sexual position related to penile fracture.
"Our hypothesis is that when woman is on top she usually controls the movement with her entire body weight landing on the erect penis, not being able to interrupt it when the penis suffers a wrong way penetration, because the harm is usually minor in woman with no pain but major in the penis.

"On the contrary, when the man is controlling the movement, he has better chances of stopping the penetration energy in response to the pain related to the penis harm, minimizing it."
The study found that 44 men had attended hospital, with 42 having "the condition confirmed after clinical, radiological and surgical evaluation".
Of these, 28 were injured in heterosexual romps, four during homosexual intercourse, six as a result of "penis manipulation" and four in circumstances which were "unclear".

The study, published in the Advances in Urology journal, reads: "Half of patients (50 per cent) presented with the classical triad of an audible crack followed by pain.

(continued)
What will the world be like after its ruler is removed?

User avatar
Xamonas Chegwé
Bouncer
Bouncer
Posts: 50939
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:23 pm
About me: I have prehensile eyebrows.
I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse.
Location: Nottingham UK
Contact:

Re: 'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

Post by Xamonas Chegwé » Mon Jan 26, 2015 4:39 pm

For 'circumstances which were "unclear"', read 'vicar with a vacuum-cleaner'. :tea:
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing :nono:
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur

User avatar
laklak
Posts: 21022
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:07 pm
About me: My preferred pronoun is "Massah"
Location: Tannhauser Gate
Contact:

Re: 'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

Post by laklak » Mon Jan 26, 2015 5:08 pm

"Penile fracture". Sweet Jesu save me.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

User avatar
mistermack
Posts: 15093
Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 10:57 am
About me: Never rong.
Contact:

Re: 'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

Post by mistermack » Mon Jan 26, 2015 5:23 pm

I'm not surprised.
There are some bloody big girls out there, and a lot of them aren't trained.

Women never used to expect an orgasm, it was their job to fake it. So once the man had done his business, it was time for bye byes.

Now they expect several. The dick isn't designed for that sort of work.
While there is a market for shit, there will be assholes to supply it.

User avatar
Calilasseia
Butterfly
Butterfly
Posts: 5272
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2009 8:31 pm
About me: Destroyer of canards, and merciless shredder of bad ideas. :twisted:
Location: 40,000 feet above you, dropping JDAMs
Contact:

Re: 'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

Post by Calilasseia » Mon Jan 26, 2015 7:47 pm

Thought I'd already covered this base with my NSFW thread about sex-related ER admissions ... :)

User avatar
Brian Peacock
Tipping cows since 1946
Posts: 39938
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:44 am
About me: Ablate me:
Location: Location: Location:
Contact:

Re: 'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

Post by Brian Peacock » Tue Jan 27, 2015 4:12 am

laklak wrote:"Penile fracture". Sweet Jesu save me.
OMG! Can they splint it?
Rationalia relies on voluntary donations. There is no obligation of course, but if you value this place and want to see it continue please consider making a small donation towards the forum's running costs.
Details on how to do that can be found here.

.

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

User avatar
laklak
Posts: 21022
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:07 pm
About me: My preferred pronoun is "Massah"
Location: Tannhauser Gate
Contact:

Re: 'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

Post by laklak » Tue Jan 27, 2015 4:13 am

If your girlfriend is on top when your wife walks in it's certainly dangerous. Helluva motherfucking dangerous, TBH.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

User avatar
JimC
The sentimental bloke
Posts: 74151
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: 'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

Post by JimC » Tue Jan 27, 2015 4:14 am

I thought it was called the reverse missionary...
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

User avatar
laklak
Posts: 21022
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:07 pm
About me: My preferred pronoun is "Massah"
Location: Tannhauser Gate
Contact:

Re: 'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

Post by laklak » Tue Jan 27, 2015 4:19 am

Makes sense in Oz. If she falls up to the ceiling you'll have a cushion.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

User avatar
Xamonas Chegwé
Bouncer
Bouncer
Posts: 50939
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:23 pm
About me: I have prehensile eyebrows.
I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse.
Location: Nottingham UK
Contact:

Re: 'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

Post by Xamonas Chegwé » Tue Jan 27, 2015 12:12 pm

The safest position is, obviously, to sleep in separate rooms, wearing your underwear at all times. This is known as the "Mormon missionary position." :tea:
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing :nono:
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur

User avatar
Tero
Just saying
Posts: 51242
Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:50 pm
About me: 15-32-25
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: 'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

Post by Tero » Tue Jan 27, 2015 1:44 pm


User avatar
tattuchu
a dickload of cocks
Posts: 21889
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 2:59 pm
About me: I'm having trouble with the trolley.
Location: Marmite-upon-Toast, Wankershire
Contact:

Re: 'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

Post by tattuchu » Tue Jan 27, 2015 1:48 pm

People think "queue" is just "q" followed by 4 silent letters.

But those letters are not silent.

They're just waiting their turn.

User avatar
Faithfree
The Potable Atheist
Posts: 16173
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:58 am
About me: All things in moderation, including moderation
Location: Planet of the grapes
Contact:

Re: 'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

Post by Faithfree » Tue Jan 27, 2015 2:30 pm

Wear a cast iron condom - better safe than sorry. :coffee:
Although it may look like a forum, this site is actually a crowd-sourced science project modelling the slow but inexorable heat death of the universe.

User avatar
Hermit
Posts: 25806
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:44 am
About me: Cantankerous grump
Location: Ignore lithpt
Contact:

Re: 'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

Post by Hermit » Tue Jan 27, 2015 2:36 pm

The only physical injury to my penis occurred while fucking in the missionary position, and it looked nothing like this:

Image
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops. - Stephen J. Gould

User avatar
klr
(%gibber(who=klr, what=Leprageek);)
Posts: 32964
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 1:25 pm
About me: The money was just resting in my account.
Location: Airstrip Two
Contact:

Re: 'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position

Post by klr » Tue Jan 27, 2015 10:00 pm

mistermack wrote:I'm not surprised.
There are some bloody big girls out there, and a lot of them aren't trained.

Women never used to expect an orgasm, it was their job to fake it. So once the man had done his business, it was time for bye byes.

Now they expect several. The dick isn't designed for that sort of work.
You make them sound like pet dogs. :lol:

And are you speaking from experience? :tea:
God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion. - Superintendent Chalmers

It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cock-eyed! - Rex Banner

The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

:mob: :comp: :mob:

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests