Holy Crap!
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cronus
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by cronus » Tue Nov 25, 2014 7:38 am
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-li ... e-30181618
Bishop of Lincoln blesses road gritters
Gritters have been blessed by clergy including the Bishop of Lincoln as part of preparations to make Lincolnshire's roads safer this winter.
It is the latest unusual blessing for the Right Reverend Christopher Lowson, who has also blessed church toilets.
"Gritters and toilets are really important parts of our lives," he told BBC Radio Lincolnshire.
All 43 of Lincolnshire's gritters were blessed by various clergy at the county's eight depots earlier.
The Right Reverend Lowson said: "Toilets is probably the strangest thing [I've blessed] but it's actually making the point that God is not just interested in what you might think of as holy stuff, but the whole of life."
(continued,
never nearer God than when you are passing a big cigar...) 
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JimC
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by JimC » Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:03 am
True grit...
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!
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devogue
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by devogue » Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:08 am
He blessed toilets?
Holy shit.
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JimC
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by JimC » Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:10 am
As the actress said to the bishop...
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!
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Xamonas Chegwé
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by Xamonas Chegwé » Tue Nov 25, 2014 4:42 pm
Gritters & shitters, eh?
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mistermack
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by mistermack » Sun Dec 07, 2014 11:36 am
Xamonas Chegwé wrote:Gritters & shitters, eh?
Next in line are the Quick-fit fitters.
While there is a market for shit, there will be assholes to supply it.
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klr
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by klr » Sun Dec 07, 2014 11:17 pm
Doubtless his medieval predecessors blessed the guys who carted around the dead during plagues ... and the guys who lit the fires during witch-burnings.
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JimC
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by JimC » Sun Dec 07, 2014 11:27 pm
"Blessed be the road gritters, for they will not skid on the road to heaven"
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!
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laklak
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by laklak » Mon Dec 08, 2014 2:05 am
How about graters? If cheese makers are blessed, then why not cheese graters?
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.
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pErvinalia
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by pErvinalia » Mon Dec 08, 2014 5:21 am
Why is shit like this just accepted as not mentally insane in our societies??! How could anyone think that God (even if he wasn't an entirely made up fairy tale) cares about toilets? This is the sort of shit that we tell kids to keep them distracted from the fuckedness of the world around them. But telling it to adults?!? FFS.
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by tattuchu » Mon Dec 08, 2014 5:58 pm
rEvolutionist wrote:Why is shit like this just accepted as not mentally insane in our societies??! How could anyone think that God (even if he wasn't an entirely made up fairy tale) cares about toilets? This is the sort of shit that we tell kids to keep them distracted from the fuckedness of the world around them. But telling it to adults?!? FFS.
How exactly does he bless the toilets, I wonder? Does he kiss them? If he's going to bless toilets, he can go ahead and bless mine. He can also kiss my ass as well, right on the sphincter. I'm having hemorrhoid problems and I'll take any help I can get. Even if blessing my asshole doesn't end up helping my hemorrhoids, at least it'll feel nice.
People think "queue" is just "q" followed by 4 silent letters.
But those letters are not silent.
They're just waiting their turn.
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by L'Emmerdeur » Mon Dec 08, 2014 7:32 pm
tattuchu wrote:How exactly does he bless the toilets, I wonder?
Generally, this sort of operation, if done by an Anglican priest, would involve the use of an
aspergillum. I wonder if they do it with the seat up, or down?
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by mistermack » Mon Dec 08, 2014 7:38 pm
Why doesn't he just bless the Universe? Or does the magic lose strength over the light years distance?
If that's the case, just bless the Solar System. And if the juju doesn't work over that distance, bless Earth, or England, or whatever.
Seems a bit stupid, if you have the power of conjuring up magic, to just bless a few gritters.
Unless you are getting paid by the item, of course.
While there is a market for shit, there will be assholes to supply it.
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tattuchu
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by tattuchu » Mon Dec 08, 2014 7:46 pm
L'Emmerdeur wrote:tattuchu wrote:How exactly does he bless the toilets, I wonder?
Generally, this sort of operation, if done by an Anglican priest, would involve the use of an
aspergillum. I wonder if they do it with the seat up, or down?
I can envision a holy water enema using that device on my bum
mistermack wrote:Why doesn't he just bless the Universe? Or does the magic lose strength over the light years distance?
If that's the case, just bless the Solar System. And if the juju doesn't work over that distance, bless Earth, or England, or whatever.
Seems a bit stupid, if you have the power of conjuring up magic, to just bless a few gritters.
Unless you are getting paid by the item, of course.
Brilliant idea. Too bad the holy types haven't thought of it
Of course they may have already, but doing such a thing as blessing the universe (and the following lack of any discernable result) might expose the charade.
People think "queue" is just "q" followed by 4 silent letters.
But those letters are not silent.
They're just waiting their turn.
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laklak
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by laklak » Mon Dec 08, 2014 8:58 pm
The useless old fart can't even bless a fucking lottery ticket. Every time I buy one I promise to donate half of it to the church, or orphans, or something, but does the numb nuts ever listen? No. Couple of months ago this old, shriveled bint won millions. What the fuck is she going to do with it?
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.
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