Fury

[Robert_S]

I never could get the hang of appliance whispering.

Next time I'll call a pro.

[JacksSmirkingRevenge]

[Cormac]

I've smashed my thumb myself a few times when working construction. Once with a sledgehammer against the end off rebar.
Though none of that was as sore as when an air-handling unit which wasn't braced properly slipped down and landed on my head and then pinning me against a wall leaving me stuck between it and the A-frame I was halfway up

Did you tell that story before? It sounds familiar...

http://rationalia.com/forum/viewtopic.p ... 02#p183102

Yep - thought I remembered it. I burst my arse laughing at this when I read it. You poor bugger.

I remember another time I used to install air conditioning. Me and this other bloke who looked suspiciously like an artists impression of a rapist I'd seen in the newspaper earlier that day were hauling an AHU (air handling unit) up an A-ladder (one stepping up each side). This unit was heavy, it must've been about 6-8 stone so we struggled up with it. We managed to rest it on the apex of the ladder and then lifted and heaved it into the brackets above which we had place earlier. We slid it into the bracket on his side first then slid it back into mine. I felt the weight being lifted as the bracket took the unit. I then looked up to see the unit was only hanging on by a corner and before I could react it slipped and crashed down on my head knocking me back. Luckily there was a wall behind me so I was caught with the unit on my chest and my ankles on the ladder or it could've been vicious. Again I felt that familiar warmed and in my panic lifted the unit, which before weighed a ton, with ease and plonked it on top of the ladder. Back into hospital for some stitching. Still, luckily for that wall otherwise the unit would've crashed down on me after falling 15 foot off a ladder.

[rachelbean]

I don't really get angry. I get annoyed or frustrated occasionally, but I'm not sure that I've ever felt rage

[Animavore]

I don't really get angry. I get annoyed or frustrated occasionally, but I'm not sure that I've ever felt rage

Try this.

[Clinton Huxley]

I had a Ford Fiesta that got the whole Basil Fawlty treatment, it broke down on the motorway, in a queue of traffic, on a gradient and I had to push the evil thing on to the hard shoulder. It's fair to say I was mildly displeased with it.

[Tyrannical]

Ooooops, thought I saw to r's.

[Mysturji]

The windshield wipers in my mom's car kept blowing the fuse and dad was trying to fix it. He checked the whole circuit, the fault was somewhere in the wiper motor. He took it out, farted with it and put it back in, and it promptly blew another fuse. He calmly took it out again, wired a plug to it, plugged it into 110 volts AC and screamed "So burn the fuck up you cocksucker!".

The ideal response.

My life is punctuated by a series of small explosions. I don't bottle up my frustrations, I let them out immediately. It can sometimes be startling for those in the area - I swear like the long line of seamen that I come from - but ten seconds later, I'm laughing about it.

[Coito ergo sum]

The only thing that seems to be able to do that to me is when I call some corporate entity and they have one of those voice recognition phone systems where they want you to speak your wishes into the phone and get them to direct you to the right person or information.

They always appear to be endless and are woefully inadequate to understand the various ways people speak.

They take forever.

It's like -- What are you calling about? Then you start to answer because of a hesitation in the recording and then the machine starts to give you various examples of what you might be looking for -- they always begin with a list of things they really would like you to be calling for, and never is the reason you're calling in among the suggested items. Then you say something, and the fucking thing wants to repeat it back to you - "O.k. - so, you want ________, is that correct?" Half the time it's not correct, and at that point it's taking 10 times as long as it would take if you could just hit the fucking button -- 3 for whatever, 0 for the operator.

Then this goes on because they take you another level deeper into the menu, asking you to say more stuff. You ask for an operator, and it says it doesn't understand you. You ask for customer service and it says it doesn't understand you. They want to keep you from getting to a human as long as possible, until finally you're screaming in rage at the computer over the phone asking it to just fucking transfer you to a human!!!!!!!! God dammit!!!!!

[laklak]

The only thing that seems to be able to do that to me is when I call some corporate entity and they have one of those voice recognition phone systems where they want you to speak your wishes into the phone and get them to direct you to the right person or information.

Eleven! E-lev-en! Would you please repeat that.

[Cormac]

The only thing that seems to be able to do that to me is when I call some corporate entity and they have one of those voice recognition phone systems where they want you to speak your wishes into the phone and get them to direct you to the right person or information.

They always appear to be endless and are woefully inadequate to understand the various ways people speak.

They take forever.

It's like -- What are you calling about? Then you start to answer because of a hesitation in the recording and then the machine starts to give you various examples of what you might be looking for -- they always begin with a list of things they really would like you to be calling for, and never is the reason you're calling in among the suggested items. Then you say something, and the fucking thing wants to repeat it back to you - "O.k. - so, you want ________, is that correct?" Half the time it's not correct, and at that point it's taking 10 times as long as it would take if you could just hit the fucking button -- 3 for whatever, 0 for the operator.

Then this goes on because they take you another level deeper into the menu, asking you to say more stuff. You ask for an operator, and it says it doesn't understand you. You ask for customer service and it says it doesn't understand you. They want to keep you from getting to a human as long as possible, until finally you're screaming in rage at the computer over the phone asking it to just fucking transfer you to a human!!!!!!!! God dammit!!!!!

That'll do it.

[Seth]

The only thing that seems to be able to do that to me is when I call some corporate entity and they have one of those voice recognition phone systems where they want you to speak your wishes into the phone and get them to direct you to the right person or information.

Eleven! E-lev-en! Would you please repeat that.

I've heard that many such systems have "swear-words" detectors and if they hear the client saying things like "You cocksucking motherfuckers I want to talk to a human being and if I don't I'm going to cancel my fucking account" that will immediately switch you to a live human being. Not sure if it works, but that's what I read.

[Animavore]

I never have problems with those auto-phones, or whatever they're called, thanks to my clear, eloquent and defined Irish accent

[Mysturji]

If you just don't push any buttons and don't say anything, it usually eventually gives up and puts you through to a Human.
It may not be any quicker, but it's a lot easier.
Or it may decide there's no-one there and just hang up.

[Cormac]

The only thing that seems to be able to do that to me is when I call some corporate entity and they have one of those voice recognition phone systems where they want you to speak your wishes into the phone and get them to direct you to the right person or information.

Eleven! E-lev-en! Would you please repeat that.

I've heard that many such systems have "swear-words" detectors and if they hear the client saying things like "You cocksucking motherfuckers I want to talk to a human being and if I don't I'm going to cancel my fucking account" that will immediately switch you to a live human being. Not sure if it works, but that's what I read.

...usually just as you're rage has been inflated to apoplexy, and in the middle of your scream "motherfucker, I'll fucking burn your fucking office building to the ground" (as you're put through to a polite young person who says something like "Good morning, you're through to ABC Helpline, I am very sorry that we've kept you waiting. How can I help you"...

(And you can hear they laughter in their voice...).