Ridiculous things to do with religion

[Rum]

Let's have a thread to remind us why religion is so damn stupid and ridiculous. Let us proceed with enthusiasm, vigour and wit!

A starter: wanking is a sin and god knows you did it!!

[SteveB]

Their costumes are pretty silly.

[klr]

Christian football match in Birmingham abandoned after mass punch-up:

http://www.birminghammail.net/news/top- ... -31888177/

..
Shocked league bosses say that they have never seen anything like it – and say that an influx of non-Christians into teams may be to blame.
..

Yeah, we believe ya ...

[Rum]

What are those bishops hats about ffs!

[JimC]

Prayers thanking god for stuff that just fucking happens anyway...

This could become a thread of infinite length, and break the inter webs!

[Cormac]

Christian football match in Birmingham abandoned after mass punch-up:

http://www.birminghammail.net/news/top- ... -31888177/

..
Shocked league bosses say that they have never seen anything like it – and say that an influx of non-Christians into teams may be to blame.
..

Yeah, we believe ya ...

My goodness. Us Christians are never violent! To distract you from this current embarrassment, here is a healthy dose of good old bigotry. "It wiz them athiets wit dunit".

[Rum]

Sport type people praying to win. God hates the loser?

[tattuchu]

All bad ideas for things to do with religion:

1) Stick it up your pooper (even though it's prickly)
2) Eat it, even though it tastes like ear wax
3) Invite it round for tea, even though it's an ungrateful and ungracious guest
4) Use it as a body pillow, even though it's not really all that cuddly or even comfortable
5) Shake it on the dance floor
6) Save it for leftovers, thinking it might taste better the next day even though it never does
7) Use it to mend broken porcelain
8) Tickle it's tummy (Don't. It's bitey)
9) Use it to tell time, even though it's always off
10) As entertainment for a children's party (it never ends well)

That's all I can think of for now.

[Rum]

You should get out more Tat.

Knowledge about the origin of the universe ffs!

[Ian]

Believing you can eat a nilla wafer and a sip of grape juice and then believe that you're actually feasting on the flesh and blood of a 2000-year old dead guy. And feeling happy about it.

[Xamonas Chegwé]

Wear zoroastrianism as a hat.
Peel swedes with shinto.
Sing judaism in falsetto.
Poke a policeman in the eye with a dervish.
Oak-smoke cargo cults and serve them on a bed of rocket and sorrel.
Play keepy-uppy with rastafarianism.
Take islam seriously.

All pretty fucking ridiculous IMO.

[Ian]

Dare: Walk into a catholic church during service with a large soda straw, and blow bubbles in the holy water.

[Tero]

Invisible god. What else is invisible? Farts, but they can be detected.

[Thinking Aloud]

Because "love", God exists.

[colubridae]

Because "love", God exists.

Because "god", love exists.

Circular reasoning proves circular reasoning.