How do we attract Skepchicks to sign up here?

[Badger3k]

We do?

He doesn't know about the threads.

Look, it may not be much, but that's no reason to call it a thread.

[Bella Fortuna]

[cogwheel]

We do?

He doesn't know about the threads.

[cogwheel]

erm... oops dupe

[Jason]

Pheh.. You're all just trying to post pics of my magnificent junk - shaken not stirred.

[Badger3k]

Pheh.. You're all just trying to post pics of my magnificent junk - shaken not stirred.

So, yer sayin' ya' don't even have a swizzle stick?

[Jason]

Baby, it would blow your mind.

[Bella Fortuna]

So he says.............

[Jason]

Is that an invitation?

[Bella Fortuna]

Well - not here!

[Jason]

Someday..

[surreptitious57]

I know what you're saying, Zilla. A lot of us have felt hurt by the assumptions and awful remarks made against the collective

Yes, but you just have to work through it Bella. There is no other option. How I get round this is by seeing myself as an individual rather than as a cog in a machine. Sometimes it can be hard but if you can hold your head while all around you, others are losing theirs, then you will get there in the end.

I went through this imaginary scenario yesterday, where I was in a room with twenty very angry Skepchicks and free thought bloggers. I started off by saying that I believe in absolute free speech and rape jokes are allowed. They tore into me which was understandable but wrong. I told them I had called Pappa out on it. They accused me of being a rape enabler. I said I wasn't. They were not listening. This went on for a while until I decided it was useless trying to engage. I told them I don't do anger anymore and that was the end of the discussion. They saw me not as surreptitious57 but as Pappa. No attempt to convince them otherwise made any impact. But while they may have despised me, the feeling was not reciprocated. I always try to be as positive as I can no matter what the circumstances.

Having someone rip into you without mercy is good because your response is everything. Grace under pressure and all that. To me no one is my enemy because they may hate me. I don't do hate. I am forty eight, in the autumn of my life. I do understanding. I visit their sites. Sometimes it is not easy but it is the only way. Being taken out of one's comfort zone. The only way. The second I do anger I have lost it. Anger is such a destructive emotion. It can be triggered by virtually nothing and erupt into something uncontrollable. This is not such an example but it has echoes of it.

Coito once said that the worst thing one can do to the morally outraged is apologise, because that just makes them even angrier. That may very well be true, but nevertheless, if errors have been made they need to be rectified. You are not responsible for someone else's reaction to any attempt on your part at reconciliation, however. They are. Long as you are being sincere, you are doing the right thing. They should accept it and move on. They may hate me but I do not hate them as I have already said. I always give credit where credit Is due, so whatever else one can or cannot say about them, their hearts are in the right place. That much is certain.

Pappa is doing the right thing here in seeking reconciliation. It may not come to anything and personally I think a long cooling off period where no one references anyone else involved in this site war, is a mutually favourable option here. Then try to make peace when the atmosphere is more conducive. How long is long I hear you ask? Well, personally I would give it two years. Meantime focus our collective energies on something more positive. But whatever you do, no more anger. There has been far too much of that already.

[maiforpeace]

By not having a Wilder Web forum dominated by hateful and derogatory thread titles maybe?

How unfair for people to assume that we are hateful and nasty.

[Rum]

Aside from the unfair treatment of Pappa, which was pretty unforgivable, I am a bit surprised at how seriously some people have taken the issue frankly.

[Jason]

I too am getting sick of all these attack threads.. I suggested a new forum be created where they could be dumped.. er placed.. earlier.