I Prayed This Morning.

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Animavore
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I Prayed This Morning.

Post by Animavore » Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:30 pm

I'd been having a difficult time of it. Anguish, frustration, despair, grief. It was all getting on top of me. A tear passed down my right cheek. I could no longer bare it, I clasped my hands, exasperated, and said, 'Please, God! Please!' as another tear popped out and followed the path of the first. 'Lord, I beg you, please!'
I then felt a sudden release. A relief ran through my body as if a weight had been lifted off me. I felt an elation, a euphoric joy. 'Thank you.' I gasped, 'Thank you.'
I slowly got up and turned around, wiping my brow. There, the thickest, most solid looking log I have ever produced lay, heavily, at the bottom of the toilet bowl.
Libertarianism: The belief that out of all the terrible things governments can do, helping people is the absolute worst.
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Re: I Prayed This Morning.

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:33 pm

"This too shall pass."
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Re: I Prayed This Morning.

Post by borealis » Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:40 pm

:lol: You almost got me for a second.
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Re: I Prayed This Morning.

Post by Jesus_of_Nazareth » Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:42 pm

You use a toliet? - must be posh.

I use the Fridge.
Get me to a Nunnery :soup:


"Jesus also thinks you're a Cunt - FACT" branded leisure wear now available from selected retailers. Or simply send a prayer to the usual address.
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Re: I Prayed This Morning.

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:43 pm

Jesus_of_Nazareth wrote:You use a toliet? - must be posh.

I use the Fridge.
May I decline in advance any dinner invitations?
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Re: I Prayed This Morning.

Post by FBM » Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:44 pm

The lowly prune, the Fibre of the Gods...
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Re: I Prayed This Morning.

Post by Tero » Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:53 pm

I had a good thread for these type of monumental events. You can use it. Don't forget to flush so the next poster has a clean potty.
http://www.rationalia.com/forum/viewtop ... =2&t=34672
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Re: I Prayed This Morning.

Post by Rum » Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:59 pm

God moves in mysterious ways.
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Re: I Prayed This Morning.

Post by Svartalf » Sun Jan 15, 2012 2:07 pm

So "god" is a new word for "poop"?
Embrace the Darkness, it needs a hug

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Re: I Prayed This Morning.

Post by tattuchu » Sun Jan 15, 2012 2:59 pm

Svartalf wrote:So "god" is a new word for "poop"?
I wouldn't say that. Poop is what God hath wrought. I would say God is...a sphincter? :ask: Or, at least, God has a hand in our sphincter. That's why it feels so good.
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Re: I Prayed This Morning.

Post by Audley Strange » Sun Jan 15, 2012 3:02 pm

So you felt like your arse was touched by Christ?
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Re: I Prayed This Morning.

Post by Animavore » Sun Jan 15, 2012 3:06 pm

What am I, an altar boy?
Libertarianism: The belief that out of all the terrible things governments can do, helping people is the absolute worst.
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Re: I Prayed This Morning.

Post by Audley Strange » Sun Jan 15, 2012 3:09 pm

If the cassock fits...
"What started as a legitimate effort by the townspeople of Salem to identify, capture and kill those who did Satan's bidding quickly deteriorated into a witch hunt" Army Man
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Re: I Prayed This Morning.

Post by Svartalf » Sun Jan 15, 2012 3:11 pm

Animavore wrote:What am I, an altar boy?
No, altar boys' arses are only touched by priests, not ol' Jesus hisself
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Re: I Prayed This Morning.

Post by tattuchu » Sun Jan 15, 2012 3:13 pm

If Jesus's thorny crown passes through your anus*, you'll be an altered boy.

*I can just picture that bastard's thorn covered head, covered in blood and shit, poking through your hole with a deranged look on his face, grinning madly. "Heeeeeere's Johnny!"
People think "queue" is just "q" followed by 4 silent letters.

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