Emotional baggage of deconverted.

[leo-rcc]

Just today I received a PM from an atheist about some remark I made elsewhere, "God watches you masturbate ", and she told me that even though she understood it was a joke she felt uncomfortable about it. Now I don't know if she feels uncomfortable about her sexuality or the idea of a god watching her do it, but I found it a bit odd as she states herself to be an atheist and not believe in that deity supposedly watching her do it.

Then it occurred to me that it might be something left over religious thinking and therefore some remnant shame about the topic of masturbation. I have never been religious so never in that mindset but is it likely to be something like that? Do more atheists have that problem once they deconverted there are still some leftover feelings about topics like these? Do they ever subside?

[Beelzebub2]

Is anyone going to reply seriously or should I just ask for this topic to be locked?

Let's just say that here even talking about menstrual cycles is a taboo subject , and hence yes, you will never hear me talking about anything even remotely sexual. The conditioning runs deeply and after years and years of it one's brain is wired to match the surroundings at least at the superficial level required for survival.

After switching completely to internet and shutting down most of connections with anything even remotely religious (Catholic) it has been much easier to breathe. :-)

EDIT: typo

[Ayaan]

Is anyone going to reply seriously or should I just ask for this topic to be locked?

It took a long time, but I think I have gotten rid of most of the emotional baggage. Some of it was easy - being judgmental, fear of supernatural retribution, clothing, hair, alcohol, things like that. The one that hung around the longest was sex and sexuality - not what other people where doing or who they were doing it with, but of my own sexuality. It's only been in the past three years or so that I have been able to overcome that.

[charlou]

Derail moved: http://www.rationalia.com/forum/viewtop ... 99&start=0

Just today I received a PM from an atheist about some remark I made elsewhere, "God watches you masturbate ", and she told me that even though she understood it was a joke she felt uncomfortable about it. Now I don't know if she feels uncomfortable about her sexuality or the idea of a god watching her do it, but I found it a bit odd as she states herself to be an atheist and not believe in that deity supposedly watching her do it.

Then it occurred to me that it might be something left over religious thinking and therefore some remnant shame about the topic of masturbation. I have never been religious so never in that mindset but is it likely to be something like that? Do more atheists have that problem once they deconverted there are still some leftover feelings about topics like these? Do they ever subside?

It could be a personal discomfort with sex comments, generally. It's manifestly apparent at RD.net and many other forums that sex is still a taboo subject - absurdly so, and especially in RD.net's case.

But, yes, an encultured product of imposed christian/religious morality, I think.

[FBM]

The aversion to open, public discussion of sex and masturbation seems to exist across most all cultures, at least, all the ones I've experienced, and I've experienced a few non-xtian cultures. The aversion does seem to be stronger in societies with histories dominated by repressive religions. Even if one denies the religion, it's much harder to deny the social mores of the people you live among. Also, old habits die hard, even thought habits.

[maiforpeace]

Just today I received a PM from an atheist about some remark I made elsewhere, "God watches you masturbate ", and she told me that even though she understood it was a joke she felt uncomfortable about it. Now I don't know if she feels uncomfortable about her sexuality or the idea of a god watching her do it, but I found it a bit odd as she states herself to be an atheist and not believe in that deity supposedly watching her do it.

Then it occurred to me that it might be something left over religious thinking and therefore some remnant shame about the topic of masturbation. I have never been religious so never in that mindset but is it likely to be something like that? Do more atheists have that problem once they deconverted there are still some leftover feelings about topics like these? Do they ever subside?

How could they not, especially if they are so deeply ingrained? My own personal experience with one very Catholic boyfriend was he was definitely psychotic about sex. He could not get it up anywhere outside of a physical bed. No kidding. What a freak he was.

[leo-rcc]

As it turns out I was half right. She is in some kind of limbo where she doesn't know what to believe and is therefore still a bit squeamish when it comes to a omnipresent ghost. She declares herself not to believe but is still a bit apprehensive on the topic.

[Feck]

I went to Uni with a girl who although an atheist used to cry after sex .Even she thought this was fucking stupid that's why she told me, seems catholic guilt instilled long enough and hard enough (insert giggle here) is difficult to shake off.

[Red Katie]

I came up Catholic. I'm still not completely over the Catholic guilt about sex, 45 years later. And it took a long time to get over the terror of Satan. After I saw "The Exorcist," I was terrified for a month. Then I read the book and was wrecked for another month.

I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem now.

Not at all.

Srsly.

[Bella Fortuna]

I came up Catholic. I'm still not completely over the Catholic guilt about sex, 45 years later. And it took a long time to get over the terror of Satan. After I saw "The Exorcist," I was terrified for a month. Then I read the book and was wrecked for another month.

I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem now.

Not at all.

Srsly.

Boo!

[Red Katie]

[Drewish]

The key is too kill of your humanity completely. When you no longer feel, then you know you're free.

[Red Katie]

Um... yeah. I think I'll pass.

[Rum]

I must be really lucky, especially having been a small kid when there was a still a strong legacy Victorian values, but I have never felt guilt about sexual matters. Which is not to say I don't have self regulating inhibitions etc. I wouldn't masturbate in public for example (and not just because I might be arrested!) Which perhaps points to the fact that religion is only part of the equation in terms of 'control' over what are some of our less controllable urges and drives.