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The first holy conundrum
KATHY SHERIDAN
To some families it’s a holy sacrament, to others it’s an excuse for a party, and to many it’s an exercise in hypocrisy and mass delusion. So why is First Holy Communion a tradition we can’t let go of?
SO YOU THOUGHT the meringue dresses, stretch limos and cash-stuffed envelopes were the worst of it? Think about the people behind the scenes. This weekend, the Catholic priests of Ireland will don their festive vestments, set their jaws to smile mode and pray they get through the season without having to arm-wrestle someone in the aisle.
First Communions can be trying affairs.
All the priests who speak to The Irish Times for this article mention the noise. That would be the loud conversations, the party atmosphere and the buzz throughout the ceremony. And that’s just the adults, the camera-toting wannabe Spielbergs, sussing out the best angles, strutting ignorantly around a church they use only for family rituals.
That’s not to mention the dilemma around the horse-drawn carriages. One parish worker wryly recalls being accused of discrimination against horses when she asked for them to be moved off the public footpath.
So do you ban them? Can you do that? With the moral authority of the Catholic Church eviscerated by scandal, is it wise for a priest to get uppity about people’s behaviour in what is clearly alien territory?
“We’ve had some really tough ceremonies. I remember concelebrating a First Communion a few years ago and coming in thinking I’d rather do 15 rounds with Mike Tyson,” says Msgr John Byrne, the well-liked parish priest of Portlaoise. “You’re up there on your feet thinking, What do I do? Throw a tantrum ? Say ‘Shhh’, which I hate? You don’t know whether to get mad, encourage them to be quiet or ignore it.”
Most parishes now have to police these occasions, says Fr Paddy Byrne, the 38-year-old curate in the vibrant Co Carlow parish of Bagenalstown.
How bad can it get? A priest based in a city admits to one incident involving “some, um, jostling around the altar”. This constituted giving a “small push” to a dad who was conducting loud exchanges while doing tracking shots up the aisle and who refused to sit down.
“Several nights afterwards, I woke up in a sweat, worried I’d be starring on Liveline,” the priest says with a wry smile.
Ann Buggie, principal of the 408-pupil Scoil Mhuire in Portlaoise town, attributes the increased noise and random movement partly to multicultural factors but also to a general social shift towards inappropriate behaviour. “It’s a reflection of what’s happening in the home,” she says.
“It’s to do with the number of people in the church who are not familiar with those surroundings any more and who are determined not to be respectful in those surroundings,” says Msgr Byrne. “I think there is a need in them to display their dissatisfaction with the church by not respecting the building.”
So why are they there? “They’re there for the child, and they’re not really interested. But it’s just not a lack of interest in the ceremony. They’re very uncomfortable at being there.”
“I think it’s a tradition that is followed – and the sense that, well, it’s not going to do them any harm,” says Des Sutton, principal of St Paul’s, the local 420-pupil boys’ school.
“I think there’s a touch of nostalgia to it, of ritual. I think it evokes memory,” says Fr Byrne, recalling his own big day in 1982, when he and his twin brother tore the knees out of their matching brown suits while pushing the car. It was a day ultimately distinguished by his first blissful memory of having chicken and chips at the Lord Bagenal.
THEY SAY NOTHING of religion. That’s because, to many, this month’s First Communion ceremonies will represent an exercise in mass delusion and hypocrisy. Only a minority will follow basic Catholic practice.
The priests soothe their own nerves by focusing on the positive, on the family-centred nature of the celebrations, or on the belief that some adults’ faith is rekindled by their involvement.
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