The Myth of the Moderate Merkin

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JimC
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Re: The Myth of the Moderate Merkin

Post by JimC » Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:56 am

Brian Peacock wrote:
Seth wrote:
Brian Peacock wrote:
rEvolutionist wrote:If I want back to cab driving I was going to get one of those telescopic batons (or perhaps a short baseball like club) for protection. It's illegal here to carry that stuff around, but fuck that. As you say, I'd rather be I trouble with the police than leave myself open to attack and possible death.
They're illegal here too, unless you put a torch in the end. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Security-Baseba ... opic+baton

:lol:
I'm reasonably certain that UK law includes an "any other device" blanket ban on anything that is, can or even might be used as an offensive weapon, which includes a hammer.
I think that blanket ban is only invoked in court once you've used something not on the main list as an offensive weapon. People have been prosecuted for using their cars as an offensive weapon, and I seem to recall someone being done for using crutches or a walking stick on the same grounds; and of course, this is why I personally have to be careful how I use my devastating wit in a public place. I mean, my bruises will heal in a few weeks, but the psychological and emotional scars I can inflict with a few well chosen words can do irreparable damage that lasts a lifetime.

:biggrin:
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Re: The Myth of the Moderate Merkin

Post by Seth » Fri Jan 08, 2016 6:55 am

Brian Peacock wrote:
Seth wrote:
Brian Peacock wrote:
rEvolutionist wrote:If I want back to cab driving I was going to get one of those telescopic batons (or perhaps a short baseball like club) for protection. It's illegal here to carry that stuff around, but fuck that. As you say, I'd rather be I trouble with the police than leave myself open to attack and possible death.
They're illegal here too, unless you put a torch in the end. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Security-Baseba ... opic+baton

:lol:
I'm reasonably certain that UK law includes an "any other device" blanket ban on anything that is, can or even might be used as an offensive weapon, which includes a hammer.
I think that blanket ban is only invoked in court once you've used something not on the main list as an offensive weapon. People have been prosecuted for using their cars as an offensive weapon, and I seem to recall someone being done for using crutches or a walking stick on the same grounds; and of course, this is why I personally have to be careful how I use my devastating wit in a public place. I mean, my bruises will heal in a few weeks, but the psychological and emotional scars I can inflict with a few well chosen words can do irreparable damage that lasts a lifetime.

:biggrin:
It appears we are going to have to confiscate and destroy that wit then, or at least the half of it you've demonstrated possessing so far. You are not permitted to have such a dangerous weapon in your possession because you might hurt someone's feelings with it. Therefore you shall report for prefrontal lobotomy tomorrow at 9 a.m. sharp.
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Re: The Myth of the Moderate Merkin

Post by pErvinalia » Fri Jan 08, 2016 7:02 am

I want one of those. Seriously.
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Re: The Myth of the Moderate Merkin

Post by Seth » Fri Jan 08, 2016 7:18 am

rEvolutionist wrote:I want one of those. Seriously.
Not really that hard. Just get a long, thin, sharp probe and a small hammer and drive the spike upwards from the part of the eye socket nearest the nose through the sinuses and into the frontal cortex and then wiggle the probe about a bit. Bingo! All your troubles vanish.
"Seth is Grandmaster Zen Troll who trains his victims to troll themselves every time they think of him" Robert_S

"All that is required for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke

"Those who support denying anyone the right to keep and bear arms for personal defense are fully complicit in every crime that might have been prevented had the victim been effectively armed." Seth

© 2013/2014/2015/2016 Seth, all rights reserved. No reuse, republication, duplication, or derivative work is authorized.

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Re: The Myth of the Moderate Merkin

Post by pErvinalia » Fri Jan 08, 2016 7:35 am

If I wasn't likely to die doing that, I might just give it a go... :o
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Re: The Myth of the Moderate Merkin

Post by Seth » Fri Jan 08, 2016 8:22 pm

rEvolutionist wrote:If I wasn't likely to die doing that, I might just give it a go... :o
Go ahead and do it. You see, when you do it you won't care if you die and probably won't even notice if you do. That's the beauty of it.
"Seth is Grandmaster Zen Troll who trains his victims to troll themselves every time they think of him" Robert_S

"All that is required for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke

"Those who support denying anyone the right to keep and bear arms for personal defense are fully complicit in every crime that might have been prevented had the victim been effectively armed." Seth

© 2013/2014/2015/2016 Seth, all rights reserved. No reuse, republication, duplication, or derivative work is authorized.

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Re: The Myth of the Moderate Merkin

Post by piscator » Fri Jan 08, 2016 8:52 pm


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Re: The Myth of the Moderate Merkin

Post by laklak » Sat Jan 09, 2016 3:29 am

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Hey, it had to be said.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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Re: The Myth of the Moderate Merkin

Post by Seth » Sat Jan 09, 2016 3:41 am

laklak wrote:I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Hey, it had to be said.
Applied vigorously it's pretty much the same thing...if your liver outlives your brain.

And it doesn't require either a doctor or a prescription, which is probably why it's so popular.
"Seth is Grandmaster Zen Troll who trains his victims to troll themselves every time they think of him" Robert_S

"All that is required for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke

"Those who support denying anyone the right to keep and bear arms for personal defense are fully complicit in every crime that might have been prevented had the victim been effectively armed." Seth

© 2013/2014/2015/2016 Seth, all rights reserved. No reuse, republication, duplication, or derivative work is authorized.

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Re: The Myth of the Moderate Merkin

Post by piscator » Sat Jan 09, 2016 5:27 am

Just give your life to Christ.

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Re: The Myth of the Moderate Merkin

Post by rainbow » Sat Jan 09, 2016 10:32 am

piscator wrote:Just give your life to Christ.
I call bullshit - Alfred E Einstein
BArF−4

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