The 7 Basic Needs of a Husband-- the Duggar Study Sheet.

[Coito ergo sum]

Now I don't have to watch the film.

I've never met anyone that particular in real life, though. But then, Irish women are the type that would be happy with a back of crisps and some WKD

Oh, they exist. But that is, of course, an extreme example. The idea for the guy is to not be finicky.

[Animavore]

Now I don't have to watch the film.

I've never met anyone that particular in real life, though. But then, Irish women are the type that would be happy with a back of crisps and some WKD

Oh, they exist. But that is, of course, an extreme example. The idea for the guy is to not be finicky.

I don't think many guys would be. I'd just go in and say, "Food!" if I thought I could get away with it.

[hadespussercats]

Most of us don't worry that much about that stuff. The hair, yes, I'll give you that. Guys don't want to go bald. We want hair, and we want are dicks to work reasonably well. Beyond that, we're pretty flexible...

I don't know. Check out some of the diet and exercise threads here. Plenty of men seem concerned about their appearance. And why not?

I resemble that remark!

Re-entry into the dating game will do that.

I think it's great! Whittling four inches off your waist is worth celebrating.

Absolutely it is. Expressing worry over it, though, is -- I have found - unattractive to women. If we're diverting into the dating scene, I can tell amused something with some assurance -- his probability of hitting it off with chicks in the dating scene will go way up if he walks that walk without talking that talk. Be athletic or fit - don't worry about it. Be well dressed and well-groomed, but don't talk about accessories and cosmetics.

You have so much advice for men who are dating. What's up with that?

Not just this thread. I can think of a couple threads you've started specifically about dating etiquette. Actually, our (first?) big fight was about dating advice for men.

Living vicariously? Got a self-help book in the works?

[hadespussercats]

Most of us don't worry that much about that stuff. The hair, yes, I'll give you that. Guys don't want to go bald. We want hair, and we want are dicks to work reasonably well. Beyond that, we're pretty flexible...

I don't know. Check out some of the diet and exercise threads here. Plenty of men seem concerned about their appearance. And why not?

I resemble that remark!

Re-entry into the dating game will do that.

I think it's great! Whittling four inches off your waist is worth celebrating.

Absolutely it is. Expressing worry over it, though, is -- I have found - unattractive to women. If we're diverting into the dating scene, I can tell amused something with some assurance -- his probability of hitting it off with chicks in the dating scene will go way up if he walks that walk without talking that talk. Be athletic or fit - don't worry about it. Be well dressed and well-groomed, but don't talk about accessories and cosmetics.

There are two reasons I second this advice (with reservations.) One-- I think it's actually good advice for men and women-- I can't imagine your average guy wanting to hear a woman worrying about her weight or talking about makeup. Two-- when a guy worries about those things, he sends a message to a woman that she should be aware he notices all that stuff acutely, which might make her ill-at-ease about her own appearance.

But all this advice is very generic. Useful, if you date generically.

[amused]

I'm an, ahem, older gent who is lucky enough to be able to get back into reasonably good shape. I'll want to date the same (ladies, not gents) so it's likely that physical fitness will be a common area of interest. But I understand the point being made.

[Coito ergo sum]

I don't know. Check out some of the diet and exercise threads here. Plenty of men seem concerned about their appearance. And why not?

I resemble that remark!

Re-entry into the dating game will do that.

I think it's great! Whittling four inches off your waist is worth celebrating.

Absolutely it is. Expressing worry over it, though, is -- I have found - unattractive to women. If we're diverting into the dating scene, I can tell amused something with some assurance -- his probability of hitting it off with chicks in the dating scene will go way up if he walks that walk without talking that talk. Be athletic or fit - don't worry about it. Be well dressed and well-groomed, but don't talk about accessories and cosmetics.

You have so much advice for men who are dating. What's up with that?

It took me decades to learn what little I have to impart the younger generation....lol

Not just this thread. I can think of a couple threads you've started specifically about dating etiquette. Actually, our (first?) big fight was about dating advice for men.

Living vicariously? Got a self-help book in the works?

I could probably write one. It's surprising to some men how many "little things" are important in this context. Like, here's CES's Theorem Number 299: Shoes. Wear quality shoes. Women look at shoes, and often judge a man in part by his shoes.

I know it generates heated discussions. But, that's part of the fun, in my view.

[Coito ergo sum]

I don't know. Check out some of the diet and exercise threads here. Plenty of men seem concerned about their appearance. And why not?

I resemble that remark!

Re-entry into the dating game will do that.

I think it's great! Whittling four inches off your waist is worth celebrating.

Absolutely it is. Expressing worry over it, though, is -- I have found - unattractive to women. If we're diverting into the dating scene, I can tell amused something with some assurance -- his probability of hitting it off with chicks in the dating scene will go way up if he walks that walk without talking that talk. Be athletic or fit - don't worry about it. Be well dressed and well-groomed, but don't talk about accessories and cosmetics.

There are two reasons I second this advice (with reservations.) One-- I think it's actually good advice for men and women-- I can't imagine your average guy wanting to hear a woman worrying about her weight or talking about makeup. Two-- when a guy worries about those things, he sends a message to a woman that she should be aware he notices all that stuff acutely, which might make her ill-at-ease about her own appearance.

But all this advice is very generic. Useful, if you date generically.

If a man expresses worry about this stuff, like "I have to eat salad because I'm on a diet" or some stuff like that, then it sends a message that the guy isn't comfortable with himself or confident in himself. I've often heard women say stuff like "attractiveness comes from within, and if a guy is confident and self-assured, then he is more attractive..." -- if a guy is a worrywort or finicky early in a relationship, then I think we tend to send a signal that we aren't possessed of that confidence and self-assuredness. Women in general, I think, are not as concerned about a man's mere physical appearance, and it is that confidence that gets a guy more points. So, if I were asked for advice, I would say for a guy to always handle situations, including dates, as if one is confident -- and strong enough to "deal" with things -- that's why it comes across as more manly for a guy to "just order off the menu" and eat it -- because he's not supposed to be worried or bothered about this stuff.

Lots of generic advice is good to follow until one knows the woman better. Until you actually know her better, you have very little to go on except general cultural norms and expectations. It's about maximizing results and percentages. If you want to maximize how you are perceived on a date, you do things that send out signals that indicate that you possess qualities attractive to women: confidence, self-assuredness, strength, sense of humor, physical fitness, and the like.

Little things are taken by people of indicators of those overarching factors. A woman has nothing else to go on on a date than what the guy does and says. So, in the early part of a relationship - (how often do we hear that women make certain decisions in the first 5 minutes of meeting a guy) - it's important to do things that maximize one's chance of a favorable impression on the woman. And, "the little things" are what women have often said are important when making those impressions. IMHO.

[hadespussercats]

I'm an, ahem, older gent who is lucky enough to be able to get back into reasonably good shape. I'll want to date the same (ladies, not gents) so it's likely that physical fitness will be a common area of interest. But I understand the point being made.

Yeah, I think it's a little ridiculous that you'd date someone and never mention you rollerblade what? about 20 miles a day? It's a big part of your life.

Seems like you might even want to find someone who'd want to come with you. So of course you'd want to talk about it.

[Animavore]

I've never noticed a woman's shoes once ever.

I dont think my eyes have ever travelled down that far.

[Coito ergo sum]

I'm an, ahem, older gent who is lucky enough to be able to get back into reasonably good shape. I'll want to date the same (ladies, not gents) so it's likely that physical fitness will be a common area of interest. But I understand the point being made.

Yeah, I think it's a little ridiculous that you'd date someone and never mention you rollerblade what? about 20 miles a day? It's a big part of your life.

Seems like you might even want to find someone who'd want to come with you. So of course you'd want to talk about it.

To clarify, I don't suggest not mentioning. Rollerblading is awesome, and it absolutely should be mentioned.

CES Theorem #202: Whatever you do is awesome, and you really enjoy doing it. Conversation almost always turns to what each other's hobbies and interests are. And whatever the guy does he needs to make clear that he does them because he loves to do them. "I rollerblade -- it's awesome - I'll do 20 miles a day. Clears my head - makes me feel great." There is no need to express any worry about physical appearance, which is what I was getting at before.

That's related to CES Theorem 201: Have hobbies. If you don't currently have a hobby, get one. What are you doing with your time? Women are attracted to a guy with interests and passions in life. They don't want a slug who sits on the couch watching t.v. -- that's what their "ex" did. They want a guy who does something. If it's something that can be done as a couple, then that's even better.

The overarching concept here is that you want to be a guy who enjoys life, and is having a good time. A happy person with passions and interests. Those are attractive qualities.

Do: have hobbies, interests, and dreams that you're passionate about.

Don't: be a finicky worrywort.

[Coito ergo sum]

I've never noticed a woman's shoes once ever.

I dont think my eyes have ever travelled down that far.

We generally don't, unless we make a conscious effort to do so.

A lot of women, however, will notice your shoes. If you go out with torn or scuffed shoes that look cheap, many women will notice and they make judgments based on such things. Clothes make the man, the saying goes. You can bank on that being something a woman will likely notice.

[hadespussercats]

I'm an, ahem, older gent who is lucky enough to be able to get back into reasonably good shape. I'll want to date the same (ladies, not gents) so it's likely that physical fitness will be a common area of interest. But I understand the point being made.

Yeah, I think it's a little ridiculous that you'd date someone and never mention you rollerblade what? about 20 miles a day? It's a big part of your life.

Seems like you might even want to find someone who'd want to come with you. So of course you'd want to talk about it.

To clarify, I don't suggest not mentioning. Rollerblading is awesome, and it absolutely should be mentioned.

CES Theorem #202: Whatever you do is awesome, and you really enjoy doing it. Conversation almost always turns to what each other's hobbies and interests are. And whatever the guy does he needs to make clear that he does them because he loves to do them. "I rollerblade -- it's awesome - I'll do 20 miles a day. Clears my head - makes me feel great." There is no need to express any worry about physical appearance, which is what I was getting at before.

That's related to CES Theorem 201: Have hobbies. If you don't currently have a hobby, get one. What are you doing with your time? Women are attracted to a guy with interests and passions in life. They don't want a slug who sits on the couch watching t.v. -- that's what their "ex" did. They want a guy who does something. If it's something that can be done as a couple, then that's even better.

The overarching concept here is that you want to be a guy who enjoys life, and is having a good time. A happy person with passions and interests. Those are attractive qualities.

Do: have hobbies, interests, and dreams that you're passionate about.

Don't: be a finicky worrywort.

You sound like an advice column in Glamour magazine.

[Coito ergo sum]

You sound like an advice column in Glamour magazine.

LOL - Remember what George Costanza did with his mom's Glamour? LOL

But, I think my advice is very sound.