Utah official state firearm

[FBM]

These days, the only reasonable chance of me getting shot (at) would be if the N. Koreans came swarming over the DMZ. Again.

Have you got a little something tucked away to return fire with?

I tried to bring a little something over once to keep under my pillow, but I wound up spending a few nights in jail over it.

These days, the only reasonable chance of me getting shot (at) would be if the N. Koreans came swarming over the DMZ. Again.

And that's more likely than it's been in some time.

Still, you're wrong.

That wouldn't surprise people who know me. What am I wrong about this time?

[Gallstones]

My mother sent me this

>
> AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
>
> To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
>
> Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
>
> I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I
> hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend,
> threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings
> I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
>
>
> First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to
> actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket..
> The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason..my
> girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a
> Combat Marine in Afghanistan.. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom
> Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder
> holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very
> intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
>
> I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with
> that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking
> bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with
> me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help
> mug us again].
>
> After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I
> explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up
> my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on
> your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was
> extremely grateful!
>
> I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with
> all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
>
> I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at
> the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the
> entire driver's side of the car.
>
> Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell
> just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little
> over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in
> two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while
> mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
>
> The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess
> while he traced your number etc.).
>
> ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel
> this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your
> threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these
> rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the
> opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've
> chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
> Have a good day!
>
> Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,
>
> Alex

[Seth]

My mother sent me this

>
> AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
>
> To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
>
> Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
>
> I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I
> hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend,
> threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings
> I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
>
>
> First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to
> actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket..
> The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason..my
> girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a
> Combat Marine in Afghanistan.. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom
> Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder
> holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very
> intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
>
> I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with
> that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking
> bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with
> me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help
> mug us again].
>
> After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I
> explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up
> my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on
> your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was
> extremely grateful!
>
> I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with
> all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
>
> I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at
> the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the
> entire driver's side of the car.
>
> Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell
> just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little
> over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in
> two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while
> mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
>
> The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess
> while he traced your number etc.).
>
> ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel
> this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your
> threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these
> rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the
> opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've
> chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
> Have a good day!
>
> Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,
>
> Alex

[Gallstones]

If true, Mr Semper Fi did go a bit overboard into some criminal activity himself.

The most interesting aspect of this for me is that it came to me forwarded by my mother who received it in one of those cluster email things she has with her sisters and their friends. Most of whom are women in their 60's and 70's.

[Pensioner]

If true, Mr Semper Fi did go a bit overboard into some criminal activity himself.

The most interesting aspect of this for me is that it came to me forwarded by my mother who received it in one of those cluster email things she has with her sisters and their friends. Most of whom are women in their 60's and 70's.

That was funny.

[Wumbologist]

If true, Mr Semper Fi did go a bit overboard into some criminal activity himself.

The most interesting aspect of this for me is that it came to me forwarded by my mother who received it in one of those cluster email things she has with her sisters and their friends. Most of whom are women in their 60's and 70's.

I had my doubts about the story as soon as it mentioned a Kimber. Who would actually carry that overpriced pot metal?

[Geoff]

If true, Mr Semper Fi did go a bit overboard into some criminal activity himself.

The most interesting aspect of this for me is that it came to me forwarded by my mother who received it in one of those cluster email things she has with her sisters and their friends. Most of whom are women in their 60's and 70's.

I had my doubts about the story as soon as it mentioned a Kimber. Who would actually carry that overpriced pot metal?

Dunno about the Kimber, but any self-respecting Marine combat vet shouldn't need a gun to overpower a street thug with a knife anyway, I'd have thought.

[Seth]

If true, Mr Semper Fi did go a bit overboard into some criminal activity himself.

The most interesting aspect of this for me is that it came to me forwarded by my mother who received it in one of those cluster email things she has with her sisters and their friends. Most of whom are women in their 60's and 70's.

I had my doubts about the story as soon as it mentioned a Kimber. Who would actually carry that overpriced pot metal?

Dunno about the Kimber, but any self-respecting Marine combat vet shouldn't need a gun to overpower a street thug with a knife anyway, I'd have thought.

A street thug with a knife is way more dangerous than one armed with a gun, believe it or not. Knife fighting is a very, very high risk activity. That's why cops shoot people armed with knives if they refuse to drop the knife and are within about 20 feet, because closer than that and a person wielding a knife can rush you and kill you with it before you can kill him with your handgun.

Thugs are notoriously bad shots, and hit what they are shooting at only a fraction of the time, and even if they do, gunshot wounds are only fatal less than 15 percent of the time anyway.

I have personally seen an individual laid open from neck to crotch, in one semi-circular slash, that left his intestines lying on the dance floor of a cantina. He died slowly and agonizingly while I watched. There was absolutely nothing I could do for him, nor could the ambulance personnel when they finally arrived. All because he stepped on the toes of some other Mexican's girlfriend.

Always bring a gun to a knife fight. Always.

[Wumbologist]

Always bring a gun to a knife fight. Always.

What do I bring to a cockfight?

[Seth]

Always bring a gun to a knife fight. Always.

What do I bring to a cockfight?

A gun.

Having a gun at any sort of fight is never a bad idea. You don't have to use it, but it's nice to have it if you need it.

[Svartalf]

Always bring a gun to a knife fight. Always.

What do I bring to a cockfight?

a pussy

[Wumbologist]

Always bring a gun to a knife fight. Always.

What do I bring to a cockfight?

A gun.

Having a gun at any sort of fight is never a bad idea. You don't have to use it, but it's nice to have it if you need it.

What about if it's a fight for my right to party?

[FBM]

What about if it's a fight for my right to party?

poppers_MED.jpg (25.47 KiB) Viewed 1186 times

[FBM]

That was funny, dammit.