Did Jesus have a wife?

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Re: Did Jesus have a wife?

Post by colubridae » Fri Sep 21, 2012 11:11 am

Gawdzilla Sama wrote:
colubridae wrote:
Blind groper wrote:A writing 400 years later? Hardly definitive. We might as well be reading Harry Potter.

I thought we were. :think:

Jesus potter came to me last night and told me how he had caused JKRowling to reveal his story and that furth... :bored:
"And lo, a legion of 14 yos did wank unto Hermione."
14 year olds? What about a sad old sixty year-old? :think:
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Re: Did Jesus have a wife?

Post by Audley Strange » Fri Sep 21, 2012 12:47 pm

Now I realise the gospels are personal versions telling the world each of the writer's part all an elaborate ploy for Jesus to ditch his woman by faking his own death.
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Re: Did Jesus have a wife?

Post by mistermack » Sun Sep 23, 2012 11:02 am

I quite like the idea.

It's absolutely true that it would have been extremely unusual for any teacher (rabbi) to be single.
The most fundamental religious duty at the time was to marry and have children. He would have been mocked, if he tried to preach, while ignoring the most fundamental of gods laws.

And there is NO mention of him being single, anywhere. That wouldn't be odd now, but back then, it would have been mentioned all the time. Being married was the norm. It wouldn't be odd at all for no mention to be made of him being married.
It is possible though, that someone went back through the gospels, and removed all comments about him being single.
But that makes the bible less than god-given.

I think it would be great, if it turned out that there were millions of people who could trace their ancestry back to Jesus.
Especially if some of them were Fred West, and Geoffry Dahmer, or whatever his name was. Or Vlad the impaler, or even Adolf Hitler.

Make it come true, Lord !!
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Re: Did Jesus have a wife?

Post by Svartalf » Sun Sep 23, 2012 12:23 pm

Blind groper wrote:A writing 400 years later? Hardly definitive. We might as well be reading Harry Potter.
Assuming it's all legit in the first place... the "scholar" trying to advance position by using a forgery, or being abused by one, would hardly be impossible... and then the fragment is so little it's hard to deduce anything from it, assuming it is indeed in good enough state and untampered with.
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Re: Did Jesus have a wife?

Post by MrJonno » Sun Sep 23, 2012 2:53 pm

Doesn't marriage require both parties to actually exist?
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Re: Did Jesus have a wife?

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Sun Sep 23, 2012 3:01 pm

MrJonno wrote:Doesn't marriage require both parties to actually exist?
Not if you're a wanker.
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Re: Did Jesus have a wife?

Post by Svartalf » Sun Sep 23, 2012 3:37 pm

Gawdzilla Sama wrote:
MrJonno wrote:Doesn't marriage require both parties to actually exist?
Not if you're a wanker.
Am I going to be convicted of polygammy?
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Re: Did Jesus have a wife?

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Sun Sep 23, 2012 3:51 pm

Svartalf wrote:
Gawdzilla Sama wrote:
MrJonno wrote:Doesn't marriage require both parties to actually exist?
Not if you're a wanker.
Am I going to be convicted of polygammy?
Polyhandry.
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Re: Did Jesus have a wife?

Post by Svartalf » Sun Sep 23, 2012 4:22 pm

I do it with only one hand. the other being otherwise needed.
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Re: Did Jesus have a wife?

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Sun Sep 23, 2012 4:34 pm

Mouse hand?
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Re: Did Jesus have a wife?

Post by Svartalf » Sun Sep 23, 2012 4:38 pm

Plead the fifth.
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Re: Did Jesus have a wife?

Post by Jason » Sun Sep 23, 2012 4:40 pm

With all that man to man kissing Jesus was either gay or French. :tea:

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Re: Did Jesus have a wife?

Post by Tero » Sun Sep 23, 2012 4:44 pm

Newsflash: jesus was a wife beater.

It was the one time he did not turntheother cheek.

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Re: Did Jesus have a wife?

Post by Svartalf » Sun Sep 23, 2012 9:11 pm

PordFrefect wrote:With all that man to man kissing Jesus was either gay or French. :tea:
It's russians who kiss other men like a normal man kisses a woman.
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Re: Did Jesus have a wife?

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Sat Sep 29, 2012 12:26 pm

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