bulletproof schoolbags

[laklak]

We'll attempt to go dogless once Moo pops her clogs, at least for a few years while we travel. Don't know if we'll manage it, though. My sister tried and lasted a couple of weeks before she brought two home from the shelter.

[Brian Peacock]

I've always liked the golden retriever. They always look so jolly - as long as they're not fat.

[pErvinalia]

There are states with very high ownership rates with very low homicide rates. Others with very low ownership rates and very high homicide rates. You can spin this any way you choose.

Not when you look at all of them.

Please stop showing that graph. The trendline is next to meaningless.

[pErvinalia]

Look, I'm serious here. Mrs. Lak is over in The Country Formerly Known As Swaziland, and told me friends of ours who live out in the bush were attacked by a thief with a machete, husbandish got cut up a pretty good. The thief broke the sliding glass door on one side of their house, they heard and saw him and retreated to the bedroom and locked the (very heavy solid secure) door. He tried the door but couldn't break it, so he went around and broke the sliding glass door into the bedroom. The husbandish is an ex-game ranger who was trampled by an elephant and has a fucked up hand and leg and his wife is Mrs. Lak's best high school friend who married Mrs. Lak's Dad and then immediately divorced him after accusing him of domestic violence (nonsense) but they're now friends and...long story. The thief grabbed a few things and split, thankfully not doing something really nasty to Mrs. Lak's former best mate.

Anyway. When we go over there I won't have guns, real hard to get legally and if they caught you illegally it would be really expensive and you'd spend time in a Swazi jail. Not a life goal. So I'm thinking, that shield and spear? If our friend had that in his bedroom? He had some time, certainly enough to grab them from the wall and get behind the shield. I'm thinking corner, wifey behind me, shield edge on the floor and spear angled over the top. This is DOMBEYA! You could poke the shit out of the motherfucker before he got close enough to hurt you. Maybe a big knife / short sword (gladius?) if he gets past the assegai.

Surely a baseball bat would be the most sensible option.

[laklak]

Definitely have one of those also. With spikes driven through the end. But, limited range. You have to get pretty close in, they take two hands to swing, and you'll open yourself up to attack. There's a reason the shield, spear, and short sword were the weapons of choice for close infantry combat for millennia.

[Seabass]

I would think a spear would be rather unwieldy indoors. Gladius/scutum combo might work.

[laklak]

Have to be a short stabbing spear, I was thinking of a Boeotian shield, with scalloped indentations on the sides. A gladius would definitely be a good choice. You can get these all over in Swailand, no laws restricting them like they do guns.

zulu shield.jpg (15.09 KiB) Viewed 1218 times

[pErvinalia]

Definitely have one of those also. With spikes driven through the end. But, limited range. You have to get pretty close in, they take two hands to swing, and you'll open yourself up to attack. There's a reason the shield, spear, and short sword were the weapons of choice for close infantry combat for millennia.

Yeah, but they knew how to use them, and they had muscles. You're a 60 something year old dope smoker...

[JimC]

Go high tech, Lak! Tasers, capsicum spray...

[Brian Peacock]

It's a relatively simply matter to take reasonable and quite effective precautions against intruders. It's the mob or armed gang you have to worry about.

[laklak]

Definitely have one of those also. With spikes driven through the end. But, limited range. You have to get pretty close in, they take two hands to swing, and you'll open yourself up to attack. There's a reason the shield, spear, and short sword were the weapons of choice for close infantry combat for millennia.

Yeah, but they knew how to use them, and they had muscles. You're a 60 something year old dope smoker...

Yeahbut I'm stringy. I'd say "chiseled" but there's too much saggy skin.

[laklak]

I'll eventually get a license for a shotgun. It's eSwatini, after all, and money talks. I'll say I need the gun for snakes, Swazis are shit scared of snakes. The guy who owns the game reserve is a game ranger, maybe he can make me one, then I can have guns.