The atheistic equivalent of 'pray for me'?

Post by **Rum** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:19 pm

Feeling depressed today and struggling. Being me I know it will last a day or two and I will feel better, but it just occurred to me that if you are a wooist of the Xian kind you can ask people to 'pray' for you. I can actually imagine that being of at least psychological benefit.

Anyone any ideas about an atheistic equivalent?

Post by **Gawdzilla Sama** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:21 pm

May the Universe not deliberately fuck with you today.

Post by **Callan** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:22 pm

seems to be popular...

Post by **Feck** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:26 pm

'noodles' can be used instead of 'bless you' when sneezing or' Good luck ' in fact it replaces almost all religious utterances

Post by **mistermack** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:52 pm

Rum wrote:Feeling depressed today and struggling. Being me I know it will last a day or two and I will feel better, but it just occurred to me that if you are a wooist of the Xian kind you can ask people to 'pray' for you. I can actually imagine that being of at least psychological benefit.

Anyone any ideas about an atheistic equivalent?

Well, speaking as someone brought up in the Catholic faith, I can confirm that lighting a candle sometimes produces fantastic results. So I recommend candles.

As an atheist though, there is no point in lighting it, but some people get wonderful fulfilment by shoving one up their arse.

Best to make sure you keep hold of the end though, because the nurses tend to take the piss in the accident and emergency departments. ( so I've heard ).
.

Post by **Callan** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:55 pm

mistermack wrote:
Rum wrote:Feeling depressed today and struggling. Being me I know it will last a day or two and I will feel better, but it just occurred to me that if you are a wooist of the Xian kind you can ask people to 'pray' for you. I can actually imagine that being of at least psychological benefit.

Anyone any ideas about an atheistic equivalent?
Well, speaking as someone brought up in the Catholic faith, I can confirm that lighting a candle sometimes produces fantastic results. So I recommend candles.

As an atheist though, there is no point in lighting it, but some people get wonderful fulfilment by shoving one up their arse.

Best to make sure you keep hold of the end though, because the nurses tend to take the piss in the accident and emergency departments. ( so I've heard ).
.

They also bend - body heat will do that.
So if you're planning to use them for their original purpose afterwards, you'll need to straighten them out PDQ after removal.

And they NEVER straighten out properly!

Post by **Cormac** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:59 pm

mistermack wrote:
Rum wrote:Feeling depressed today and struggling. Being me I know it will last a day or two and I will feel better, but it just occurred to me that if you are a wooist of the Xian kind you can ask people to 'pray' for you. I can actually imagine that being of at least psychological benefit.

Anyone any ideas about an atheistic equivalent?
Well, speaking as someone brought up in the Catholic faith, I can confirm that lighting a candle sometimes produces fantastic results. So I recommend candles.

As an atheist though, there is no point in lighting it, but some people get wonderful fulfilment by shoving one up their arse.

Best to make sure you keep hold of the end though, because the nurses tend to take the piss in the accident and emergency departments. ( so I've heard ).
.

Wooists sometimes like to stick them in their ears "Hopi ear candles" I believe it is called. Globe used to swear by 'em.

Hey Rum - It is a horrible feeling. The only comfort really (when there's noone to give cuddles) is to know that it will lift.

Post by **Mr P** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:06 pm

I'll think for you.

Post by **Minimaul** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:24 pm

I'd just give them compassion and comfort and ask if there was anything I could do to help.

Post by **hadespussercats** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 11:04 pm

I'll wish you well, Rum.

Post by **Pappa** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 11:09 pm

Chin up, old bean.

Post by **Don't Panic** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 12:57 am

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

Post by **Xamonas Chegwé** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:17 am

mistermack wrote:
Rum wrote:Feeling depressed today and struggling. Being me I know it will last a day or two and I will feel better, but it just occurred to me that if you are a wooist of the Xian kind you can ask people to 'pray' for you. I can actually imagine that being of at least psychological benefit.

Anyone any ideas about an atheistic equivalent?
Well, speaking as someone brought up in the Catholic faith, I can confirm that lighting a candle sometimes produces fantastic results. So I recommend candles.

As an atheist though, there is no point in lighting it, but some people get wonderful fulfilment by shoving one up their arse.

Best to make sure you keep hold of the end though, because the nurses tend to take the piss in the accident and emergency departments. ( so I've heard ).
.

In a round about way, this provides the answer to your OP, Rum.

Simply replace "pray for me" with "promise to remind me never to light a candle that I intend shoving up my arse"

Post by **Tero** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:35 am

I used to give young atheists a pep talk so they did not have to go do stupid things when all was meaningless. I posted some in a hidden blog.

Well, it was all a bunch of shit, you are older than me, you know all this stuff.I did find a piece of humor in my blog:

Let us say we look at God at his committee hearing. There are lots of Gods and Universes, don't ask.
C: We have lots of worlds already, how is your world going to be useful.
God: I will create a whole planet of animals and plants and then a special one, man.
C:special?
God: Yes, they will worship me and I will see they do not get into too much trouble.
C: So these people and you seem to both justify the existence of the other? We have 20053 worlds like that already. Funding denied. Next!

Post by **RandomGuyOnCouch** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:08 am

Whenever someone asks me to pray for them or one of their loved ones, I usually respond "I'll have a drink for them".

rationalia.com