Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post Reply
User avatar
laklak
Posts: 20981
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:07 pm
About me: My preferred pronoun is "Massah"
Location: Tannhauser Gate
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by laklak » Wed Sep 18, 2019 8:02 pm

Captain Leslie Frothington-Smythe, RAF ace, keyed his throat mike as he watched the cold, grey waters of the English Channel just meters under the wings of his stricken Spitfire, and called Freddy 'Bubbles' Worthington, his wingman, former fag at Eton, and most loyal friend, who had faithfully followed only yards behind his smoking fighter since they were jumped by two Hun BF-109s who appeared out of the sun just over the Belgian coast, and said "This could be it Bubbles, rum luck and all that, make sure you tell Penelope, well, you know, old man".
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

User avatar
Sean Hayden
Microagressor
Posts: 17879
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:55 pm
About me: recovering humanist
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Wed Sep 18, 2019 8:11 pm

:lol: --I'm tearing up.

User avatar
Rum
Absent Minded Processor
Posts: 37285
Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2009 9:25 pm
Location: South of the border..though not down Mexico way..
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Rum » Wed Sep 18, 2019 8:20 pm

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a WiFi.

User avatar
Tero
Just saying
Posts: 47197
Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:50 pm
About me: 15-32-25
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Tero » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:36 am

It was a normal day: I got plain bagels, cream cheese, pears and a can of generic cat food for Spot, my three legged cat.
https://esapolitics.blogspot.com
http://esabirdsne.blogspot.com/
Said Peter...what you're requesting just isn't my bag
Said Daemon, who's sorry too, but y'see we didn't have no choice
And our hands they are many and we'd be of one voice
We've come all the way from Wigan to get up and state
Our case for survival before it's too late

Turn stone to bread, said Daemon Duncetan
Turn stone to bread right away...

User avatar
Brian Peacock
Tipping cows since 1946
Posts: 37953
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:44 am
About me: Ablate me:
Location: Location: Location:
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:50 am

It was a dull, miserable day in September, and the clocks were striking twelfty-six.
Rationalia relies on voluntary donations. There is no obligation of course, but if you value this place and want to see it continue please consider making a small donation towards the forum's running costs.
Details on how to do that can be found here.

.

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

User avatar
pErvinalia
On the good stuff
Posts: 59295
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:08 pm
About me: Spelling 'were' 'where'
Location: dystopia
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by pErvinalia » Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:33 am

Everything was going as planned, until Frank sharted.
Sent from my penis using wankertalk.
"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
"Seth you are a boon to this community" - Cunt.
"I am seriously thinking of going on a spree killing" - Svartalf.

User avatar
JimC
The sentimental bloke
Posts: 73015
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by JimC » Thu Sep 19, 2019 5:46 am

"I say, Bertie!" Biggles ejaculated.

Algy had to clean up...
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

User avatar
Hermit
Posts: 25806
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:44 am
About me: Cantankerous grump
Location: Ignore lithpt
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Hermit » Thu Sep 19, 2019 10:33 am

"If you don't at first succeed, give up" muttered Lawrence when the condom broke while he was rolling it on.
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops. - Stephen J. Gould

User avatar
rainbow
Posts: 13528
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:10 am
About me: Egal wie dicht du bist, Goethe war Dichter
Location: Africa
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by rainbow » Thu Sep 19, 2019 12:34 pm

"Aaaaaaarrrgh!" exclaimed the privateer
"Nay, be it arrrgh" replied the pirate.
"Oh all right, I'll get the next round" said the buccaneer
I call bullshit - Alfred E Einstein
BArF−4

User avatar
Brian Peacock
Tipping cows since 1946
Posts: 37953
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:44 am
About me: Ablate me:
Location: Location: Location:
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:39 pm

"Where's your buccaneers?" asked Major McTavish of the notorious pirate leader Pink Pete, who at that moment writhed fruitlessly amid a hasty lash of sail rope that bound him like a seething pile of spawning vipers. "Under me buccing hat!" the erstwhile privateer replied, punctuating a further expletive with a defiant gob upon the Major's polished left boot for good measure.
Rationalia relies on voluntary donations. There is no obligation of course, but if you value this place and want to see it continue please consider making a small donation towards the forum's running costs.
Details on how to do that can be found here.

.

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

User avatar
Sean Hayden
Microagressor
Posts: 17879
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:55 pm
About me: recovering humanist
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Fri Sep 20, 2019 5:29 am

A roaches guts, a bum hair tickle, by the devil's hand I make this man's cock a warty pickle!

User avatar
rainbow
Posts: 13528
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:10 am
About me: Egal wie dicht du bist, Goethe war Dichter
Location: Africa
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by rainbow » Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:22 am

It was a hot and humid day
I call bullshit - Alfred E Einstein
BArF−4

User avatar
laklak
Posts: 20981
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:07 pm
About me: My preferred pronoun is "Massah"
Location: Tannhauser Gate
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by laklak » Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:26 am

Bear Savage, the great white hunter, scanned the African darkness. "It's quiet", he said, "too quiet".
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

User avatar
pErvinalia
On the good stuff
Posts: 59295
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:08 pm
About me: Spelling 'were' 'where'
Location: dystopia
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by pErvinalia » Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:39 am

John woke up at 7.30am.
Sent from my penis using wankertalk.
"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
"Seth you are a boon to this community" - Cunt.
"I am seriously thinking of going on a spree killing" - Svartalf.

User avatar
rainbow
Posts: 13528
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:10 am
About me: Egal wie dicht du bist, Goethe war Dichter
Location: Africa
Contact:

Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by rainbow » Fri Sep 20, 2019 8:33 am

She slipped on the flimsiest sundress, and wore no underwear, not caring if the builders down the road caught a glimpse of her ample, but slightly sagging bum.
I call bullshit - Alfred E Einstein
BArF−4

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests