Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory
KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.
Rev. Gabriel Burdett explains Intelligent Falling:
"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.
Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."
Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.
According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.
The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."
"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.
Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis.
"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."
Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's mathematics and Holy Scripture.
"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."
"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"
Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.
"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."
Newton was so wrong...
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Newton was so wrong...
This is old news but I thought that general public of his forum should be notified that long held "theory of gravity" has been refuted, and that evangelical scientists have found a solution to the central problem of modern physics - the unified force is Jesus, of course.
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Re: Newton was so wrong...
Oh my, I think I'm going to laugh....
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Re: Newton was so wrong...
That's what they'll teach the year after they get ID into the science classrooms. Then Civics classes will include modules on how to spot a witch. Health class text books will contain one word, "Chastity." History classes will start with Adam and StEve.
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Re: Newton was so wrong...
... and several years worth of back issues of "PlayLizard"Gawdzilla wrote:That's what they'll teach the year after they get ID into the science classrooms. Then Civics classes will include modules on how to spot a witch. Health class text books will contain one word, "Chastity." History classes will start with Adam and StEve.
And I'll be in the mountains with my guns.
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Re: Newton was so wrong...
In Missouri we have an extensive cave system. About 25 miles from here is a major cave, Merramac Caverns, that has a log cabin built in it. This has been certified as one-time hideout of Jesse James.AshtonBlack wrote:... and several years worth of back issues of "PlayLizard"Gawdzilla wrote:That's what they'll teach the year after they get ID into the science classrooms. Then Civics classes will include modules on how to spot a witch. Health class text books will contain one word, "Chastity." History classes will start with Adam and StEve.
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Re: Newton was so wrong...
It would be funny if these freaks weren't serious.Ace wrote:Oh my, I think I'm going to laugh....
We danced.
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Re: Newton was so wrong...
I find it funny because their serious. They haven't even managed to bring any kind of evidence to support their gawds existance and now they expect everyone to accept that it's their gawd who causes "things to fall". It's a claim on another claim and both claims are getting us nowhere closer to factual knowledge. That's why I find it funny.FIO wrote:It would be funny if these freaks weren't serious.Ace wrote:Oh my, I think I'm going to laugh....
I tend to look at religion as a nutcase comedy show.
It's interesting on what they will think of next.
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Re: Newton was so wrong...
As we all know we, all things are held on the earth by noodley appendages. As it says in the Gospels of the FSM.
rAmen.
rAmen.
Last edited by AshtonBlack on Wed Apr 22, 2009 9:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Newton was so wrong...
What bollocks will they come up with next?
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Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
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This is the wrong forum for bluffing
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
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I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
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Re: Newton was so wrong...
Next step, Sharia law.Xamonas Chegwé wrote:What bollocks will they come up with next?
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Re: Newton was so wrong...
I'm sure I heard about "intelligent falling" as a joke ages ago though.... maybe it's so stupid I assumed it was a joke?
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Re: Newton was so wrong...
It was a poe, just like the above, but we were playing along until you got here.Pappa wrote:I'm sure I heard about "intelligent falling" as a joke ages ago though.... maybe it's so stupid I assumed it was a joke?
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Re: Newton was so wrong...
Gawdzilla wrote:It was a poe, just like the above, but we were playing along until you got here.Pappa wrote:I'm sure I heard about "intelligent falling" as a joke ages ago though.... maybe it's so stupid I assumed it was a joke?
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Re: Newton was so wrong...
Spoilsport! :pissed:Pappa wrote:Gawdzilla wrote:It was a poe, just like the above, but we were playing along until you got here.Pappa wrote:I'm sure I heard about "intelligent falling" as a joke ages ago though.... maybe it's so stupid I assumed it was a joke?
If you follow the link behind the title, you will see that it takes you to The Onion - that should be enough.
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
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