The Most I Wept in 20 minutes is due to this clip

[Dory]

Incredible. Just watch. Even if it doesn't get you emotional, it will get you thinking, or at least learning a bit of science. Or, if not, at least you're bound to have a little laugh.

[kiki5711]

I like the way she thinks, that's why she was able to observe all the details during the stroke.

It kind of sounded like an acid trip.

[PsychoSerenity]

Wow! amazing stuff.

Her description of stepping into the right hemisphere, being in the moment, is a lot like (though more intense than) my experiences of meditation techniques.

[tattuchu]

I'll show you how it feels to have a stroke

I'm just sayin.

Okay, carry on with serious discussion :sighsm:

[Dory]

Glad you like it, I've been watching a lot of TedTalks lately, amazing stuff there.

[kiki5711]

It's amazing what our brain comes up with while going through some kind of trauma.

I remember, long time ago, I was traveling in a van with 6 other people, we were going from state to state traveling, and the driver fell asleep. The van swirved to the right. There was a ditch on the side of the highway and the van hit the ditch and started tumbling over a couple time before it landed upside down. As the van was tumbling and we were all being tossed around, I remember thinking "wow, this is just like in the movies, now what am I suppose to do next"...when the van landed, I was the only one alert, everyone else was passed out, the girl in the passanger seat flew out the window, the driver stuck between the steering wheel and the seat, everyone else all over the van.

I got out and looked around for any houses or to stop any car and the next thing I knew, the ambulance was there taking care of everyone but me. I stood there, spaced out wondering why do I always look like nothing is wrong with me and why am I not getting the attention they are?

Looking back on it, it was a surreal experience from which I walked away with just some bruises.

I think it's natural to kind of seperate ourselves from the body during crisis and kind of look from outside in, in order to deal with the trauma.

It is the same experience that abused women have. That's why it sometimes takes them a long time to come to terms with reality, cause for a long time it just seems like it's not real and not happening to them. Reality kind of becomes two demensional and the abuse starts to feel like it's happening to someone else not them.

When I was dealing with my two cancers, I also had to kind of seperate from my body in a sense that I had to look at it from a perspective that it just had to be treated with a certain way, and not have emotional feelings towards it every moment, otherwise it would have driven me crazy.

I don't know if that makes any sense.

[fordo]

"i fucking hate the i became an infant in a womans body part"some friends of mine saw this and now belive it qualifys them to tell me what i think and feel, the brain is a amazing and wonderous thing, its also a betraying motherfucker of a brute,its 18 months since my stroke and whiulst i can walk and talk its only been due to extream effortand pain, lots of pain, which is pretty much what i can look forward to every day along with a shortened life span, im amazed how many instant experts i have uncovered,someone sent me this same clip awhile ago, with oh"so this is likeyou huh?"do you have to wear diapers?"lol, no, go get fucked (to them)...but thanks for posting it dory i had allmost fergotted about it and that i owed someone paybeck for mocking me,....sorry carry on

[kiki5711]

"i fucking hate the i became an infant in a womans body part"some friends of mine saw this and now belive it qualifys them to tell me what i think and feel, the brain is a amazing and wonderous thing, its also a betraying motherfucker of a brute,its 18 months since my stroke and whiulst i can walk and talk its only been due to extream effortand pain, lots of pain, which is pretty much what i can look forward to every day along with a shortened life span, im amazed how many instant experts i have uncovered,someone sent me this same clip awhile ago, with oh"so this is likeyou huh?"do you have to wear diapers?"lol, no, go get fucked (to them)...but thanks for posting it dory i had allmost fergotted about it and that i owed someone paybeck for mocking me,....sorry carry on

it can't be the same for everyone because everyone is different. your mind will only do, I feel, what it has been natural for it to do with your type of thinking. I can't imagine the suffering you're going through nor how I would handle it.
I know that when my doctor told me I had to wear the colostomy bag while going through chemo, I was schocked and I cried. I felt if I had to wear that thing for the rest of my life, I was ready to call it quits. Even while going through chemo, I was drinking and taking anti depressant pills, pain pills, anti anxiety pills, enough to be semi comatose in order to deal with it.

I tried to just take it one day at a time and physically do what I had to. I didn't think too much about it cause it would drive me crazy if I did. I kept thinking of getting past it and moving on.

I hated it that my body and the cancer in it had taken over my life. I'd lost control and I was mad. Mad as hell because I'm the type of person that likes to be in control, not what my body dictates, or my mind craves, but I control it, not it controlling me. It was hell.

And since this was the first time I was going through something like this, I didn't know really what was coming, what to expect, but honestly, if I had to go through it again, I can't say that I would handle it better. I might just say "fuck it" not gonna let this tell me how to live. I don't know what I would do.
At times, it was only the thought of my son that kept me thinking positive. I also didn't like the fact of giving in. It was, and still is to some extent a daily battle of wills inside me. I am determined not to give in, then at the same time, I feel like giving up. The better side of me, at the moment, is too stubborn to give in.

I'm better now but there's this creepy fear of "is it back' type of thoughts and I hate it that I have those thoughts. I think sometimes if I am ready to die and I realize that I feel ok with it. I think to myself, I've been to lots of places, seen a lot of things, had incredible experiences in life, there's not much more of "been there/done that" so what's left? Not much more unless you count more miserable experiences as "not all experienced". I don't think I"ll hit the lottery and day soon, so I'm not going to know what it's like to be wealthy, so what's left. If I die, not much would be missed and some people will have a few extra dollars in their pocket.

So, for me, learning how to enjoy life in the moment is the best thing. It's something I still am learning. To be in the moment.

[fordo]

thankyou kiki5711,i wish i could be as brave as you, :sighsm:

[charlou]

That was very moving .. thanks for posting it, Dory. Neuroscience .. fuck it's fascinating.

[kiki5711]

thankyou kiki5711,i wish i could be as brave as you, :sighsm:

for you fordo:

[fordo]

[Randydeluxe]

By the title of this thread, can I assume that you got to the video from this podcast? ttp://audio.wnyc.org/radiolab_podcast/radiolab_podcast802word.mp3

If not, enjoy.

[Trolldor]

I lolled.