Another Skepchick War! Dr. Marty Klein crossed the line!

[Clinton Huxley]

If some grubby couple propositioned me in such a manner I'd demand they took their diseased genitals out of my face pretty pronto.

[Clinton Huxley]

One does wonder how a young blade about town is to proposition a filly these days. Was easy in my day, you just spoke to her father, but now it all seems a terribly fraught walking on egg shells game.

[Robert_S]

One does wonder how a young blade about town is to proposition a filly these days. Was easy in my day, you just spoke to her father, but now it all seems a terribly fraught walking on egg shells game.

Yes, I'm always up for pointers in this game, Some people come on too strong, and sometimes I apparently I don't come on strong enough. I don't know when to hold her and/or fold her and sometimes I walk away when I out to run!

[Clinton Huxley]

One does wonder how a young blade about town is to proposition a filly these days. Was easy in my day, you just spoke to her father, but now it all seems a terribly fraught walking on egg shells game.

Yes, I'm always up for pointers in this game, Some people come on too strong, and sometimes I apparently I don't come on strong enough. I don't know when to hold her and/or fold her and sometimes I walk away when I out to run!

What is needed is some kind of standard operating procedure with accompanying process flow diagram.

[Ayaan]

I'm gonna say it...some people just get waaaay to worked up over crap that means nothing and need to grow up. Even if their intent was a threesome, they handed her a card and walked away - no pressure. IMHO, it doesn't reach the level of harassment until the person on the receiving end has made it known the attention isn't wanted and it continues anyway. (I am going just by what I read in the OP.)

[Svartalf]

I lost track. Is she a whiny attention whore?

And not a single fuck was given.

Especially when your attention whoring precludes accepting attention from those most willing to lavish it.

[Svartalf]

An over-reaction, perhaps, but I agree with Hades that handing out the card wasn't appropriate in context, and is definitely towards the sleazy end of the spectrum...

if that was a convention, and they'd been in net contact for some time, maybe it WAS in fact the most opportune time to make a move... who knows how long would pass till the next meet?

[JimC]

It doesn't deserve the venom and ideologically-based opprobrium it has received from some, but I still think it is something more suited to a swinger's party than a conference. Mind you, I know this is simply my personal reaction of distaste, and I am not investing it with any moral meaning...

[Svartalf]

Skepchick =

HOW DARE PEOPLE ASK ME TO HAVE SEX!!!! I am deeply offended, and we need to change the culture so that people see that propositioning someone for sex so that they have to bother saying, "No thanks," is sexual harassment! OMG I'm so alone

[Audley Strange]

Perhaps it's just me but I think I see the cause of the issue on this one.

It's about a confusion of roles. Most people see a convention as a social event, as such accept that libidinous shenanigans are going to be part of that.

However, what the complaints seem to be about is the distinction of being approached at a social event as a professional. I think the perception might be that being a professional at an event means that they are working and thus apart from the social aspect of it and thus should be afforded a certain level of professional respect and distance.

I'm not sure that's particularly a bad thing to be honest, but perhaps they shouldn't mingle with the plebs, people are awful.

[Coito ergo sum]

An over-reaction, perhaps, but I agree with Hades that handing out the card wasn't appropriate in context, and is definitely towards the sleazy end of the spectrum...

Inappropriate, sure. But, lots of people do lots of "inappropriate" things. People curse in public. I think that's inappropriate. If I'm at a conference, and someone is getting mouthy and vulgar, am I now entitled to run to the organizers and claim I'm being harassed because they've crossed my boundaries? Why or why not?

Also, let's be real -- if the card was handed to a man, and he lodged this complaint, people would laugh him out of the room. It's only because of the continued paternalism regarding women that this is some sort of an outrage.

[Coito ergo sum]

Sounds like her position should be bent over a table naked with her hands handcuffed behind her for the next meeting. Maybe that would loosen her tight ass up a little.

Yeah, that's kinda creepy... More than kinda actually. I'm going to assume you were illustrating a point unless you say differently.

I usually think very little of her and other women's complaints until I read the bizarre amount of hostile sexism in the reactions. I mean, what is it about women bringing up sexism that turns an astonishing number of my fellow males into stark raving /b/tards?

I think the reason I am slow to see some things is that I ask myself "how would I come to make such a gaffe?". Now it occurs to me that maybe there's a lot more sexually fucked up men than me out there than I might think...

On the Skepchick thread? There were "hostile sexist reactions?" I didn't read any. I did see where any expression of dissent to the assertion that handing the card was a serious incident was squelched and silenced.

[Coito ergo sum]

Back to the original issue though: If you're going to cold proposition a stranger for group sex, dropping a card and walking away seems like the way to go about it.

There's probably a weird moment if you're not interested, but nobody's around to make it actually awkward and embarrassing and you can just toss the card and be done with it. You don't even have to ask for the person to stop for the situation to be over and done with. They've walked away to let you make your decision in your own time and space.

That is exactly as I thought, too. Elyse gripes about how the couple didn't stay around and wait for her to respond. Imagine if they did. Elyse's complaint would have been that they hung around and would not leave her alone.

[Bella Fortuna]

Skepchick =

HOW DARE PEOPLE ASK ME TO HAVE SEX!!!! I am deeply offended, and we need to change the culture so that people see that propositioning someone for sex so that they have to bother saying, "No thanks," is sexual harassment! OMG I'm so alone

[Coito ergo sum]

I'm gonna say it...some people just get waaaay to worked up over crap that means nothing and need to grow up. Even if their intent was a threesome, they handed her a card and walked away - no pressure. IMHO, it doesn't reach the level of harassment until the person on the receiving end has made it known the attention isn't wanted and it continues anyway. (I am going just by what I read in the OP.)

According to Skepchicks, it's harassment if you make an overture without having already determined that the person is interested. How that interested is supposed to be determined without in some way asking or implying what one is asking for, they are never clear about. You're just "supposed to know." You know..."if you don't already know....I'm certainly not going to tell you..." LOL