Husbands who do female housework have less sex

[Kristie]

Whose bringing the hot dogs?

Meatballs can be made fairly healthy. I don't think the same can be said for hotdogs.

[Coito ergo sum]

All yardwork is taken care of through our HOA. He is a magnificent handyman. The garage is his domain. He also does all our financial stuff.

The garage is in the house and constitutes housework, as does handyman work. And, handling the home and family's finances is also housework. So, he does it. He doesn't just merely "help" anymore than you "help" by washing clothes and cooking and such.

But, it's all in how you look at it, I guess. The diminution of male contributions to the household sticks in my craw. Not that you diminish your husband's contributions. Clearly you respect them very much. But, it is very often that I hear men's contributions belittled. SWMBO'd belongs to this discussion group on a social networking site for mothers of small babies. She showed me the discussions there and they seem to very often devolve into male bashing exchanges -- women relating how their husbands or significant others don't do anything of note, and don't pull their weight.

I don't consider yardwork or home maintenance as housework. Most people don't. Cleaning, laundry, dishes, taking out the trash, all that stuff is what most consider housework. My garage is attached to my house, but I don't consider it in my house.

The traditional stuff that men do around the house is not considered housework, so when they do that, but don't do the stuff women traditionally took the lead on, they are told they aren't doing anything or not pulling their weight.

I could see that being true if both are working full time jobs and the wife is the one taking care of the kids and all the housework. Especially if they don't have to keep up the yard, like my house or an apartment.

Well, certainly, if the guy really is not doing anything except his job, then he's not doing any of the work around the house. What I find, though, is that a lot of married guys find they are told they aren't doing anything around the house, when they really are. Like, my buddy the other day. Spent an entire Saturday putting in a new water heater in the house and related tasks. He comes in, takes a shower, and sits down on the couch with a beer, and his wife starts in on him about how he doesn't do any of the laundry. They got in a big fight and he gives me a buzz to vent about it. It seems that his work on the water heater didn't count because it wasn't something they both could do, or some such rationalization. I didn't quite get her position on it. Part of it was, I think, that she felt he could just pay somebody to do it, so it turned into an optional task, or that it was a thing that was his basic responsibility to do anyway or something. I think all of those explanations came out.

My SWMBO'd doesn't go that far, but she gets a bit huffy now and again, and she catches herself. Like when I've spent the day cleaning and washing the cars, and pressure washing the house and such, and then she gets testy with me because she ironed my shirts.

I've always noticed, however, a tendency for men's "traditional" contributions to the home to be left out of the equation as to who is actually doing what around the house.

[Bella Fortuna]

Hey, what about those of us who live by ourselves and do all the fucking work?

[klr]

Hey, what about those of us who live by ourselves and do all the fucking work?

Yeah, we spend all our time cleaning the ho ... oh wait.

[Bella Fortuna]

Hey, what about those of us who live by ourselves and do all the fucking work?

Yeah, we spend all our time cleaning the ho ... oh wait.

Get off the couch and go do something!

[klr]

Hey, what about those of us who live by ourselves and do all the fucking work?

Yeah, we spend all our time cleaning the ho ... oh wait.

Get off the couch and go do something!

Couch? If only.

[Coito ergo sum]

Hey, what about those of us who live by ourselves and do all the fucking work?

You deserve to be given a good, sound rogering, multiple times. I can help you with that if you could suggest good spot halfway between Florida and California....

[mistermack]

Apologies if anyone's already said this, I can't be bothered reading back all the way.

But isn't the title the wrong way around? It seems obvious to me that husbands who aren't getting enough sex, are trying to buy it by doing a bit of housework. It's a tactic to try, I suppose, if you have some weird objection to marital rape.

[Animavore]

"checks"


I don't usually mind most American bastardisation of English but that one makes me

It isn't an "American bastardization." The spellings check, cheque and checque were used interchangeably beginning in the 17th century. Beginning in the 19th century, however, the Brits adopted the French spelling, which is the cheque version.

Don't believe you.

[Coito ergo sum]

[Coito ergo sum]

"checks"


I don't usually mind most American bastardisation of English but that one makes me

It isn't an "American bastardization." The spellings check, cheque and checque were used interchangeably beginning in the 17th century. Beginning in the 19th century, however, the Brits adopted the French spelling, which is the cheque version.

Don't believe you.

The cheque is the mail.

[MiM]

Well, certainly, if the guy really is not doing anything except his job, then he's not doing any of the work around the house. What I find, though, is that a lot of married guys find they are told they aren't doing anything around the house, when they really are. Like, my buddy the other day. Spent an entire Saturday putting in a new water heater in the house and related tasks. He comes in, takes a shower, and sits down on the couch with a beer, and his wife starts in on him about how he doesn't do any of the laundry. They got in a big fight and he gives me a buzz to vent about it. It seems that his work on the water heater didn't count because it wasn't something they both could do, or some such rationalization. I didn't quite get her position on it. Part of it was, I think, that she felt he could just pay somebody to do it, so it turned into an optional task, or that it was a thing that was his basic responsibility to do anyway or something. I think all of those explanations came out.

My SWMBO'd doesn't go that far, but she gets a bit huffy now and again, and she catches herself. Like when I've spent the day cleaning and washing the cars, and pressure washing the house and such, and then she gets testy with me because she ironed my shirts.

I've always noticed, however, a tendency for men's "traditional" contributions to the home to be left out of the equation as to who is actually doing what around the house.

I guess what you are referring to is the notion "Men are just doing hobbies or playing around with their toys, anyway..."

Have to add that while that is obviously not the whole truth, it has come from somewhere, probably from that the stereotypical "man chores" are often less repetitive and boring than the stereotypical "woman chores".

[Animavore]

"checks"


I don't usually mind most American bastardisation of English but that one makes me

It isn't an "American bastardization." The spellings check, cheque and checque were used interchangeably beginning in the 17th century. Beginning in the 19th century, however, the Brits adopted the French spelling, which is the cheque version.

Don't believe you.

The cheque is the mail.

The bird is the word.

[Coito ergo sum]

"checks"


I don't usually mind most American bastardisation of English but that one makes me

It isn't an "American bastardization." The spellings check, cheque and checque were used interchangeably beginning in the 17th century. Beginning in the 19th century, however, the Brits adopted the French spelling, which is the cheque version.

Don't believe you.

The cheque is the mail.

The bird is the word.

I'll take a rain cheque.

[Kristie]

Hey, what about those of us who live by ourselves and do all the fucking work?

You have less laundry and dishes! And, no messy husband to clean up after!