Acceptance

devogue

Re: Acceptance

Post by devogue » Thu Oct 26, 2017 8:40 pm

Forty Two wrote:
devogue wrote:I find it hard to accept that I received no response from the sales manager at an Australian winery after contacting him several times to consider a request to supply my company with 6,000 nine litre cases of wine worth $300,000 per year.

I have now sourced the wine elsewhere and because I can't accept the staggering twattishness of said sales manager's ineptitude and sheer fucking rudeness I am going to write a devoggy email to the owner of the winery explaining this.
Choose a different route.

If he has not responded to your contacts, send him a letter directly, and tell him that you are writing to inquire if he is o.k. You have tried to reach him several times to provide him with a significant order, to the tune of $300,000 per year, and his nonresponse meant you had to go elsewhere to fill your requirements. Tell him that you are worried that something horrible must have happened to cause him to miss your communications, and you are hoping he will contact you to let you know he is o.k., and to resolve any issues.

Then, when he calls you back to apologize, politely squeeze him for a sweetheart deal on some additional wine. You might be able to negotiate a cut-rate price.
Nah, I left voicemails, emails etc over a period of six weeks after initial contact but I've now gone for my second preference who have been unfailingly helpful.

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Re: Acceptance

Post by laklak » Thu Oct 26, 2017 9:23 pm

Dunno. Do I rage against the dying of the light, or do I accept the inevitable? Sometimes I think the former, sometimes the latter. Life is one long. strange trip and no doubt about it.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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Re: Acceptance

Post by Forty Two » Thu Oct 26, 2017 10:54 pm

Rum wrote:42 - unlike some here I get you I think and you have wisdom to share..and you do with some enthusiasm. But if I may say so, you can be a little condescending at times too.
I'll keep an eye out for that, but I have no intention to be that.

Rum wrote: I am quite aware of the privilege I experience - and not the new sense of that word.
Wasn't my intent to guilt you into happiness by pointing out how much better you have it. We all over the west have it good, but that wasn't the point. The point was to find tools to use to alter perspective and expectations. This is hard work. The fact that I say these things doesn't mean I've become the Dalai Lama or anything....
Rum wrote: I am in a miniscule percentage of the population today - and an even smaller one if you look at the last few centuries, never mind further back. I have no money worries, I have a decent marital relationship, a couple of grown up kids doing OK one way and another. None of that makes me unhappy - obviously. I thank my luck and good fortune.
Sometimes people have a hard time seeing the good that they have. Obviously, I didn't mean to insinuate that you have no idea of this. But, sometimes when someone is depressed, if someone points out the love and joy that actually is in their life, they are reminded of things so close to them, that they happened to forget or stop noticing them. No intent to condescend.
Rum wrote:
I think my inability to accept life on its own terms and find some sort of consolation or at least accomodation is probably an aspect of my personality and makeup rather than an inability to grasp and appreciate what I have to be grateful for in any intellectual sense.
The change I'm referring to is only partly the conscious, front-of-the-brain sort of understanding of reality. The real key is to try to sink that into the back of your brain, or the center of your chest.
Rum wrote:
I grew up an anxious and shy only child.
Me too. Low self-esteem. Anxious. Shy. Awkward.

Kids are screaming. I'll come back to the rest later. I'll try to explain what I meant, which I failed miserably in doing.
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Re: Acceptance

Post by Tero » Thu Oct 26, 2017 11:50 pm

Hmm. may be something there, the only child thing. It was somewhat more difficult being an immigrant as well. But I learned English quicker, there just is not that much to talk to with two parents.

My parents died at age 63, both. I had taken responsibility long before that , at age 19 or so. But I was also ready to give up all that responsibility as the kids moved out.
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Re: Acceptance

Post by pErvinalia » Fri Oct 27, 2017 1:13 am

Rum wrote:They say that acceptance can bring peace to your life. That's what they say right?

Personally I am unable to find the ability to accept things - even the ones I cannot change. I hate every damned thing that I'm supposed to accept - from getting old, to mortality, to the way the world seems to be going to hell - well the list is long.

I expect a very grumpy (very) old age as it develops and I suspect I will continue not to accept it.

How about you?
I'm really good at letting go of the past and living in the moment. Problem is that I counter accepting the past by being ultra unaccepting of the present.. :hrmph:
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Re: Acceptance

Post by pErvinalia » Fri Oct 27, 2017 1:17 am

Svartalf wrote:well, stopping alcohole can't be a bad thing, more over, it's a means to save money, so your advice has great value... also, IF I'm seeking a clear head, alcohol is an obstacle to it, so stopping the demon's drink can't be such a bad idea...
Yeah, I stopped regular drinking nearly one year ago (or perhaps it was two years ago). Not only could I not afford it, I also figured it had to be better for my depression if I didn't drink.
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Re: Acceptance

Post by pErvinalia » Fri Oct 27, 2017 1:36 am

Forty Two wrote: Also, another perspective - the same situation, and the same things, can make some people happy, other people neutral, and other people sad. That's because the things and situations don't make us happy or sad - we do - our brains do. Happiness is in your head, not outside. Once you accept that, you can stop looking for happiness where it isn't - in other people and other things and other situations - and find it in your head.

Think of any situation - it's Saturday, and you have to mow the yard, trim the hedges, fix a bunch of stuff around the house, and it's so much you might not be able to do it all, and you won't get to go to the movies or head out to the sports bar today. Does that day suck or is it a great day? The reality is, it's all in your head either way. There are some people out there who would have no interest in a movie or a sports bar, and they would love to do chores around the house. Others hate that and want to go to the movies or sports bars. Why? What's the difference? Is there something inherent in the activities that creates happiness or satisfaction? No! Nothing. Whether we know it or not, we "choose" to be happy or sad about those things. We choose to like them.

If a person is depressed with their life or upset by the world situation, it's because that's what they're choosing to do. Stop it. Choose to be happy and love the things you have and the situation you are in and it can change for you.
While you are right that happiness is largely all in our heads, it's not right and it's actually pretty offensive to say that people "choose" to be sad. There is no such thing as free will, and we are all a product of our genes and environment. Unless you have somehow managed to decouple your thoughts from the physical world. The reality is that depression is probably largely a disease of modern society. A society that is more disconnected than ever, and ironically a society that empowers individuals to challenge authority and hold dissenting views, a situation which many of us would pragmatically be a lot happier if it didn't exist. It's like you say about expectations. Many of us have wound up with this largely false expectation that we can successfully challenge authority or majority views. It's no wonder a lot of us wind up depressed when either nothing changes, or things get worse. In a similar way, I think there's going to be a lot of depressed adults when todays "there are no losers" yoof find themselves in the real world where most people lose (to varying degrees) most of the time.
But, people who are really depressed or bothered in life, they view life, the thing many of us most cherish, as a chore and a burden - they "have to" live. What if they imagined how they "get" to live? Even if life sucks, isn't it better than the alternative?
I think this is part of the problem. The fact that this is the best it gets.
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Re: Acceptance

Post by Brian Peacock » Fri Oct 27, 2017 8:13 am

Meh. It's not acceptance which gets me through the day, but indifference.
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Re: Acceptance

Post by Clinton Huxley » Fri Oct 27, 2017 9:18 am

For me the pudding of indifference is interspersed with the plums of cold fury and the occasional glace cherry of contempt.

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Re: Acceptance

Post by rainbow » Fri Oct 27, 2017 9:26 am

Then there is the bacon and cheese butty. It can cheer one up when all is gloom.
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Re: Acceptance

Post by Clinton Huxley » Fri Oct 27, 2017 9:31 am

Indeed. Mindfulness? Tommyrot with knobs on. But baconliness...

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Re: Acceptance

Post by rainbow » Fri Oct 27, 2017 9:33 am

...is close to cheesiness.
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Re: Acceptance

Post by von Starnberg » Fri Oct 27, 2017 9:39 am

Acceptance is for brute beasts; cattle, swine, peasants. A gentleman rages against the Gods. Is it not so?

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Re: Acceptance

Post by Brian Peacock » Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:18 am

A gentleman rages against the Gods, but a Prussian forces the Gods to kneel before him.

:tea:
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"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
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Re: Acceptance

Post by von Starnberg » Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:21 am

Brian Peacock wrote:A gentleman rages against the Gods, but a Prussian forces the Gods to kneel before him.

:tea:
The threat of force is usually of sufficiency.

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