Receiving bequests, and feeling uneasy.

[Svartalf]

I've received a very nice gift... yet feel uneasy about it.

The gift proper is a hardback edition of a difficult to find book by Jules Verne ( Keraban le Têtu)

What bothers me is the circumstances in which I received it... An acquaintance of mine (she calls herself "friend", but given her character, and my own specifications for people who deserve to be called so, I'll never call her so myself) is about to lose her father. The man is nearly 90, has bone cancer, and currently is in a medical facility which he is not expected to leave again, except feet first. When he had to be taken to the hospital and the terminal prognosis was made, she acted so practical I feel it is rather cold blooded : She emptied his flat and had it cleaned up in preparation to renting it out. As part of the process, she distributed the stuff that was easily portable and of little value among various people she knows, which is how I stumbled on this little treasure, when she told me to go through his books and take whatever I liked.

and now I don't feel so good about having taken something that belongs to one who is not dead yet. Of course, he's not expected to live through the summer, and the lady has been pestering her various friends who'll be staying in and around Paris through July and August to volunteer to handle the funereal arrangements should he pass away while she and her husband are not home (I don't know if she's being realist and trying to give herself some breathing space so as not to completely break down, or being supremely selfish)... but the fact is that he's alive, and I have something of his, and I don't even know if he would approve of my getting it.

[FBM]

Leave the "friend." Take the book. Dude is dying. What does he care? She said take what you want, so take what you want.

[Pappa]

There doesn't seem to be a lot you can do about it that would improve the situation. Just accept the book. There's no use feeling guilty about it.

[Svartalf]

well, It's on high priority... I hope to be reading it before the year is over.

[tattuchu]

Tuck it away in a safe place. When he's finally passed away, take the book back out and drink a glass of fine wine in his honor. Just don't spill the wine on the book, for Christ's sake.

[Svartalf]

Will do... Now to think what wine I'll get to drink in his memory... Methinks something from the far South... Maybe something from Corsica (as was he) or a Bandol.

[Rum]

There's a certain Parisian practicality about your 'friend's' behaviour I guess. Perhaps it is her way of coping?

[laklak]

When my mom was dying of cancer she was the cold blooded one. She bought a condo just down the road from my sister and I so she would be closer to us during the chemotherapy unpleasantness, but managed to get a really good deal so we could sell it or rent it out after she departed this vale of tears. Nothing wrong with practicality.

[Svartalf]

Curiouser and curiouser... I didn't know she had left Paris (she was here this morning), but she just called me from the Corsican home to propose me more bequests... a shame I wasn't there personally to make sure what was really interesting and what is not... I may have missed the best loot.

[laklak]

Loot - now that's the proper spirit! It's an ill wind that doesn't blow some decent shit somebody's way, or something like that.

[Clinton Huxley]

Tuck it away in a safe place. When he's finally passed away, take the book back out and drink a glass of fine wine in his honor. Just don't spill the wine on the book, for Christ's sake.

This. Books sometimes have strange paths through space time. Enjoy your period as its current owner.

[hadespussercats]

Tuck it away in a safe place. When he's finally passed away, take the book back out and drink a glass of fine wine in his honor. Just don't spill the wine on the book, for Christ's sake.

This. Books sometimes have strange paths through space time. Enjoy your period as its current owner.

I like that sentiment.

[rasetsu]

There is no correct way to grieve. Accept life's gifts, try not to judge, and let people find their own paths. The destination is ultimately the same. The journey is all we have.

[mistermack]

When my mother died, she had a very old friend who lived across the road, who had to be told.
I was worried that the news might upset her, as she's old and in bad health.
So I knocked on the door, and waited till she asked me in, and was sitting down, and then told her calmly.

She looked at me as if I was some sort of unfeeling monster, I could tell in her eyes that she thought I didn't care, just because of the way I told her.

Just shows that the outward signs don't always reflect the feelings. Sometimes, that's how some people cope with it.

I would personally take the book, and hire a van, and slip in there when nobody's looking, and take whatever else is worth nicking.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Anybody remember the opening scene of "The 9th Gate"?