Your foibles, anxieties and bad habits?

[lordpasternack]

Aren't you being a little too freudian? I thought I made a good case for some of my oddities being somewhat genetically influenced.

Well, I suppose that too.

And plus, my parents divorced when I was 9, and I went though a lot worse shit since then that I will never ever talk about or even admit to existing, except perhaps for the wifey when I find her and maybe having a pup or two before brining that up.

Hey - I know it's cliched, but finding someone (besides yourself) that you can trust to help you sort through your psychological baggage over time is definitely good in the long-run. It's a shame that you haven't been able to find that trust as of yet, and are still lugging that baggage around with you, beneath the surface.

[The Curious Squid]

Oh I have a good few, but I don't want to break your servers with the full list but I'll give you a sample:

Hyper/Happy

I can talk the back legs of a donkey and the front ones. I am also happy 99% of the time. From the moment I awake to the moment me head hits the pillow. It is a rare day that I am "down".


Bored easily

I love learning stuff. This means that if a project has no challenge I tend to "go off it" a bit and start looking for the next.

No sense of embarressment

I will talk to anyone, about anything at anytime. I will also do karaoke(badly), sober.


Well that's about it... the major ones anyway.

I removed one bit but I'd say that the rest of that is pretty much me.

[Transgirlofnofaith]

Hey - I know it's cliched, but finding someone (besides yourself) that you can trust to help you sort through your psychological baggage over time is definitely good in the long-run. It's a shame that you haven't been able to find that trust as of yet, and are still lugging that baggage around with you, beneath the surface.

No, I'm fine. I've gotten over it all pretty well and moved on. Sometimes, problems only develop when some twit(not you, hypothetical friend/fuck partner) thinks that someone who bad shit happened to needs to go through some kind of pop-psychology confessional bullshit and who thinks that prying up the mental floorboards is a good idea. This, incidentally, is why I think a lot of modern psychology is bullshit. Not everyone is permanently shaped by their childhood, and some people just move on. People who respect them shouldn't go poking about the machinery just because of some misguided attempt to cleanse past issues. Some people learn from their hardships, and not in some kind of talk therapy sense wither. The only way you can truly get past issues is with a memory wipe, and as I just pointed out, that has a downside to it.

[lordpasternack]

If you think that that's what's best for yourself - MoNF... I personally usually sort through my own baggage... I'm quite good at it - weeding out the bad shit, helping myself to get over not just the memories, but the silly insecurities and whatnot that the experiences left in their wake. Occasionally - very occasionally - I like having a "second opinion" from someone I trust... or even just someone to give me a little guidance on something to do with getting on with life.

Actually, my sort-of ex-boyfriend was 42, and in some ways he did embody the whole "father figure" thing for me: he'd been a free spirit as a young'un, and still was in some ways young at heart - and he was able to relate to my own disorganised, chaotic, erratic pace of life, and give sage advice and all that.

[Xamonas Chegwé]

Hey - I know it's cliched, but finding someone (besides yourself) that you can trust to help you sort through your psychological baggage over time is definitely good in the long-run. It's a shame that you haven't been able to find that trust as of yet, and are still lugging that baggage around with you, beneath the surface.

No, I'm fine. I've gotten over it all pretty well and moved on. Sometimes, problems only develop when some twit(not you, hypothetical friend/fuck partner) thinks that someone who bad shit happened to needs to go through some kind of pop-psychology confessional bullshit and who thinks that prying up the mental floorboards is a good idea. This, incidentally, is why I think a lot of modern psychology is bullshit. Not everyone is permanently shaped by their childhood, and some people just move on. People who respect them shouldn't go poking about the machinery just because of some misguided attempt to cleanse past issues. Some people learn from their hardships, and not in some kind of talk therapy sense wither. The only way you can truly get past issues is with a memory wipe, and as I just pointed out, that has a downside to it.

I think that reliving it all is unhelpful, as you point out. But I think that repressing or denying it is just as deleterious. The key is compromise; accepting what happened as a part of you but refusing to be bent out of shape by it or, even worse, to rely on it as a psychological crutch that excuses you from responsibility.

I am a little concerned by the way that you keep insisting on denying and refusing to talk about your experiences (NB. I am not offering my pop-psych services!) You don't need to unload the whole thing at once to anyone but integrating little bits at a time might help you to work through it. You might be surprised at how many people have similar issues. You list an impressive set of personality flaws above - I am sure that you are intelligent enough to recognise that these are not unconnected to your upbringing - who we are is never pure nature, there is always a little nurture in the mix.

[Transgirlofnofaith]

Hey - I know it's cliched, but finding someone (besides yourself) that you can trust to help you sort through your psychological baggage over time is definitely good in the long-run. It's a shame that you haven't been able to find that trust as of yet, and are still lugging that baggage around with you, beneath the surface.

No, I'm fine. I've gotten over it all pretty well and moved on. Sometimes, problems only develop when some twit(not you, hypothetical friend/fuck partner) thinks that someone who bad shit happened to needs to go through some kind of pop-psychology confessional bullshit and who thinks that prying up the mental floorboards is a good idea. This, incidentally, is why I think a lot of modern psychology is bullshit. Not everyone is permanently shaped by their childhood, and some people just move on. People who respect them shouldn't go poking about the machinery just because of some misguided attempt to cleanse past issues. Some people learn from their hardships, and not in some kind of talk therapy sense wither. The only way you can truly get past issues is with a memory wipe, and as I just pointed out, that has a downside to it.

I think that reliving it all is unhelpful, as you point out. But I think that repressing or denying it is just as deleterious. The key is compromise; accepting what happened as a part of you but refusing to be bent out of shape by it or, even worse, to rely on it as a psychological crutch that excuses you from responsibility.

I am a little concerned by the way that you keep insisting on denying-I meant that in terms of reputational/political reasons, not self-denial. and refusing to talk about your experiences (NB. I am not offering my pop-psych services!) You don't need to unload the whole thing at once to anyone but integrating little bits at a time might help you to work through it.- I just don't see how that's relevant. It doesn't change anything. You might be surprised at how many people have similar issues. You list an impressive set of personality flaws above-Wouldn't it be more accurate to describe them as idiosyncrasies? And some of them are just philosophical/attitudinal positions. It's a real mixed bag there, and I think you're blending categories a little. - I am sure that you are intelligent enough to recognise that these are not unconnected to your upbringing - who we are is never pure nature, there is always a little nurture in the mix.-True. But only to an extent. A childhood does not make a person.

[FBM]

Personality problems I've overcome (Things I didn't like about myself and changed):
*Self-importance
*Resentment towards authority figures
*Cynical judgement of others with regards to their motives
*Conviction of inferiority
*Conviction of superiority
*Callous disregard for life
*Compulsion to be liked, accepted, 'cool'
*Belief in imaginary friends, creator
...and probably more.

Personality problems yet to be overcome (Things I don't enjoy about myself and are currently being addressed):
*A disconnected sense of humor that annoys more often than it amuses
*Laziness with regards to almost anything other than thinking
*Perfectionism (I changed that word from 'perfectionism' to 'perfectionist' and back again so that it would be consistent with the other items in the lists. It has now been 5 minutes since I first typed 'perfectionism' because I thought about this sentence so long and I'm just now finishing this parenthetical remark. )
*Habitual behaviors left over from when I actually thought that there was something to be gained or lost in the process of this existence
Indecisiveness. I think. Well, not really. Oh, OK, indecisiveness. (subject to revision)(Don't hold me to that.)
*Compulsion to double and triple check every petty thing I write for grammars, spelng and punctuation, error's

Ah, wait. I'd better go back and put asterisks in front of the main points so they're easier to pick out...

[Xamonas Chegwé]

Personality problems I've overcome (Things I didn't like about myself and changed):
*Self-importance
*Resentment towards authority figures
*Cynical judgement of others with regards to their motives
*Conviction of inferiority
*Conviction of superiority
*Callous disregard for life
*Compulsion to be liked, accepted, 'cool'
*Belief in imaginary friends, creator
...and probably more.

Personality problems yet to be overcome (Things I don't enjoy about myself and are currently being addressed):
*A disconnected sense of humor that annoys more often than it amuses
*Laziness with regards to almost anything other than thinking
*Perfectionism (I changed that word from 'perfectionism' to 'perfectionist' and back again so that it would be consistent with the other items in the lists. It has now been 5 minutes since I first typed 'perfectionism' because I thought about this sentence so long and I'm just now finishing this parenthetical remark. )
*Habitual behaviors left over from when I actually thought that there was something to be gained or lost in the process of this existence
Indecisiveness. I think. Well, not really. Oh, OK, indecisiveness. (subject to revision)(Don't hold me to that.)
*Compulsion to double and triple check every petty thing I write for grammars, spelng and punctuation, error's

Ah, wait. I'd better go back and put asterisks in front of the main points so they're easier to pick out...

Use List - it does the asterisks for you!

• one thing
• another thing
• a third thing

[Xamonas Chegwé]

I am a little concerned by the way that you keep insisting on denying-I meant that in terms of reputational/political reasons, not self-denial. and refusing to talk about your experiences (NB. I am not offering my pop-psych services!) You don't need to unload the whole thing at once to anyone but integrating little bits at a time might help you to work through it.- I just don't see how that's relevant. It doesn't change anything. You might be surprised at how many people have similar issues. You list an impressive set of personality flaws above-Wouldn't it be more accurate to describe them as idiosyncrasies? And some of them are just philosophical/attitudinal positions. It's a real mixed bag there, and I think you're blending categories a little. - I am sure that you are intelligent enough to recognise that these are not unconnected to your upbringing - who we are is never pure nature, there is always a little nurture in the mix.-True. But only to an extent. A childhood does not make a person.

I didn't mean to imply that all of your characteristics were flaws. Just that there are a lot of flaws among them - many of which you self-identify as flaws. Your anti-sociability, lack of patience and laziness for example. If you are happy with those, then fine.

A childhood exactly does make a person. That is what childhoods do. Childhood is where the genetic predispositions are moulded by environmental influences to craft the finished human being. And the earlier in childhood, the more importance the moulding has on the finished article. Read any book on child-psychology if you doubt that.

[FBM]

Use List - it does the asterisks for you!

• one thing
• another thing
• a third thing

That would be cheap and dishonest.

[Transgirlofnofaith]

A childhood exactly does make a person. That is what childhoods do. Childhood is where the genetic predispositions are moulded by environmental influences to craft the finished human being. And the earlier in childhood, the more importance the moulding has on the finished article. Read any book on child-psychology if you doubt that.

So if that is the case, then how come people can have shitty childhoods and still become strong and well-developed people, albeit with a few eccentricities?

[lordpasternack]

A childhood exactly does make a person. That is what childhoods do. Childhood is where the genetic predispositions are moulded by environmental influences to craft the finished human being. And the earlier in childhood, the more importance the moulding has on the finished article. Read any book on child-psychology if you doubt that.

So if that is the case, then how come people can have shitty childhoods and still become strong and well-developed people, albeit with a few eccentricities?

Because there probably had been something in their childhood that allowed them to see what they would rather be, and how they would rather feel. Innate intelligence can help kids in otherwise crappy circumstances to pick through their situation, make some sense of it, and try to do something about it. But those eccentricities do generally still remain etched a little into the fabric of the mind... :-|

[Xamonas Chegwé]

A childhood exactly does make a person. That is what childhoods do. Childhood is where the genetic predispositions are moulded by environmental influences to craft the finished human being. And the earlier in childhood, the more importance the moulding has on the finished article. Read any book on child-psychology if you doubt that.

So if that is the case, then how come people can have shitty childhoods and still become strong and well-developed people, albeit with a few eccentricities?

Because there probably had been something in their childhood that allowed them to see what they would rather be, and how they would rather feel. Innate intelligence can help kids in otherwise crappy circumstances to pick through their situation, make some sense of it, and try to do something about it. But those eccentricities do generally still remain etched a little into the fabric of the mind... :-|

Exactly. There are good as well as bad influences. And there is that genetic disposition in the mix too - the nature.

That is also why there are therapists and counsellors out there, to provide a counter-influence to the abuse and neglect; to provide a strong, positive role-model to hold up against a crack-whore mother or an abusive, alcoholic father. And the therapists and counsellors don't need to be only professionals - they can be friends and role-models that help you through the hard times - often people that overcame such things themselves.

[Sean Hayden]

I used to be ate up by anxiety till my 30s, now we’re just sometimes sparring partners.

[Svartalf]

Wow, a thread so old I wasn't even here for the previous post... nice feat of necromancy