Feminism and Dating

[DaveDodo007]

350 quid for a night out? Fuck me sideways.

For that price they should fuck you upside down as well.

[NineBerry]

Everyone should pay what they eat themselves. If you order a menu item for several people, split it even.

[Forty Two]

I understand that in the Netherlands everything is above average.

The Netherlands is like Lake Woebegone: "All the women are strong. All the men are good looking. And, the children are all above average."

[Scot Dutchy]

I understand that in the Netherlands everything is above average.

The Netherlands is like Lake Woebegone: "All the women are strong. All the men are good looking. And, the children are all above average."

You are REALLY envious.

[Forty Two]

Here we go again. You're like a broken record.

What does any of that have to do with feminism? And MGTOW? Well, at least you've finally outed yourself..

Feminism relates to the legal, economic, social, and cultural equality of the genders. This is an aspect of western culture and society which is decidedly unequal.

[Forty Two]

As a feminist, I think the woman can pay half the bill. I suspect most feminists would think the same. Except under fortytwo's rock, of course...

Well, you can feel free to post evidence of that.

numerous surveys and CNNMoney interviews find the vast majority of heterosexual couples are not splitting the bill 50/50 on the first date. That holds true even when men and women identify as progressive or feminist.

http://money.cnn.com/2015/09/07/news/ec ... irst-date/

A survey released yesterday morning found that about 77 percent of people in straight relationships believe men should pay the bill on a first date.

http://www.theatlantic.com/business/arc ... te/380387/

But, probably you and your friends are better evidence....

[Tyrannical]

Make her pay 100%. Tell her you'll pick up the check on the second date lol.

Though I guess my dating rule now is the person that doesn't fly half way around the world pays for most of the stuff.

[Galaxian]

Here is an article about a British show called First Dates -- http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/woul ... te-6640503
In this episode, the working class man on the date is asked to pay the entire £ 136 bill for the date. She actually takes the bill and hands it to him to pay. He suggests they split the bill, which on his salary is not small, and she declines. Then she coughs up £ 30, suggesting they go halfsies, but not really halfsies.

She thinks that on a date she's supposed to be treated nicely, like a woman, which means that she doesn't pay for food and drinks.

Another guy on that show received death threats for asking his date to split a £ 350 first date bill -- http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/firs ... ce-5553997

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOrvLlP4pOY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tz14ijHXqpI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_PTxpIjGXE

Anyone who spends £ 350 or even £ 136 at a restaurant (or any venue) is a dickhead who deserves every insult he gets. Don't feel sorry for him; he is obviously a show-off with more money than sense!

[Forty Two]

Make her pay 100%. Tell her you'll pick up the check on the second date lol.

Though I guess my dating rule now is the person that doesn't fly half way around the world pays for most of the stuff.

I dated for many, many years before getting married. I always expected to pay the entire bill on dates, and not just the first date. The culture is such that when the bill comes, the waitress hands the bill to the guy on any date (at most, it will be set down on the table, but most of the time it's directed closer to the male). And, culturally, a guy who doesn't foot the bill is a cheapskate, or admitting he is unsuccessful financially (like he's so destitute that he can't afford to spring for his date's $40 half at Olive Garden). The patriarchy has ensured that women get free meals, and men have the privilege of paying for them.

The worst, though, the absolute worst is the slight reach where a date pretends to go for her purse and mutters something about getting the gratuity. LOL. I always hated that. Yeah! Here's $20 to take on the $100 check. LOL. Jeesh....

[pErvinalia]

I understand that in the Netherlands everything is above average.

The Netherlands is like Lake Woebegone: "All the women are strong. All the men are good looking. And, the children are all above average."

Well looking at Schipper, the Dutch 100/200m sprinter, the women are certainly a big strong scary lot. Although, I think she's got a fair bit of testosterone in her system.

[pErvinalia]

Here we go again. You're like a broken record.

What does any of that have to do with feminism? And MGTOW? Well, at least you've finally outed yourself..

Feminism relates to the legal, economic, social, and cultural equality of the genders. This is an aspect of western culture and society which is decidedly unequal.

the question was, what do the videos (and links and commentary) in your post have to do with feminism? Random people taking the piss says nothing at all about feminism.

[pErvinalia]

As a feminist, I think the woman can pay half the bill. I suspect most feminists would think the same. Except under fortytwo's rock, of course...

Well, you can feel free to post evidence of that.

numerous surveys and CNNMoney interviews find the vast majority of heterosexual couples are not splitting the bill 50/50 on the first date. That holds true even when men and women identify as progressive or feminist.

http://money.cnn.com/2015/09/07/news/ec ... irst-date/

That's a nice opinion there. There's absolutely no data or link to anything. I should also mention that I meant to write split the bill proportionately (i.e. pay for what you eat and drink). 50/50 isn't fair either.

[rachelbean]

As a feminist, I think the woman can pay half the bill. I suspect most feminists would think the same.

As a woman and a feminist I agree. So do most women I know. A small percentage (about the same as with the guys I know) think like this. I get my friends are not representative of everyone, but either is this. Basically, some people have different expectations. Also, some people are stupid.

I've said it in other threads and I'll say it again. I've always offered to pay at least half, sometimes all of it. It is only ever been men in my experience who actually get offended at the idea. Not the ones I stuck with though

[Forty Two]

As a feminist, I think the woman can pay half the bill. I suspect most feminists would think the same.

As a woman and a feminist I agree. So do most women I know. A small percentage (about the same as with the guys I know) think like this. I get my friends are not representative of everyone, but either is this. Basically, some people have different expectations. Also, some people are stupid.

I've said it in other threads and I'll say it again. I've always offered to pay at least half, sometimes all of it. It is only ever been men in my experience who actually get offended at the idea. Not the ones I stuck with though

Well, the guys get offended at the idea because it's taken as a sign that the date isn't going well, or that it's not really a romantic date at all because people don't go halfsies when it's a "date date." They're used to women never offering to pay, or only half-heartedly sort of "alligator-arming" it without a serious expectation to be taken up on it.

The idea that most women split the tab is simply counterfactual (perhaps not among your friends, but I've posted several pieces of evidence showing that poll after poll and inquiry after inquiry reveals that the cultural norm is for the man to pay. I can even link you to feminist arguments FOR the man paying the bill -- some feminists argue that the wage gap, and the "cost of being female" justify men footing more of the bill on things.

And, "offering" is not the same as paying. When someone "offers" to pay, it kicks the issue back to the man, as if he is in control over whether he pays the whole thing or not. The there is that the default is that the man is to pay, but the woman is "offering" to pay half. Maybe the bill should come, and the man should "offer" to pay half.

That would actually be funny. I wish my wife would give me a pass to go on a date and try that out. Just for the Lulz I'd like to get the check at a restaurant, and then when the waiter sets the bill down on the table, I'll say "Oh, here's the bill -- can I cover half of this?" I have a feeling the woman would think she's been set up on a gag television show or something.

[pErvinalia]

I think you live in a totally different world to the rest of us here. It's perfectly normal for the bill to be split (either evenly, or by cost). No one thinks anything weird about it. As Rachel said, if someone has a problem with that, then they are probably a bit deficient in character (i.e. a conservative douchebag).