Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

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Sean Hayden
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Mon Sep 23, 2019 9:47 pm

:lol:
"The world is nonsense bro"

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by JimC » Fri Sep 27, 2019 9:04 am

The necromancer raised his gaunt hands, and intoned a chilling phrase from the language of the Elder Gods. But then he paused, and said to himself "Fuck this for a game of soldiers, I'm going to the pub..."
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by rainbow » Fri Sep 27, 2019 9:10 am

"Bwana, bwana him big simba in jungle!" Fortescue-Smythe grabbed the trusty old 303, but then realised that his piles were playing up again.
Dig, 'cos I got my own world to live through
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Svartalf » Fri Sep 27, 2019 9:24 am

:lol:
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by pErvinalia » Fri Sep 27, 2019 9:37 am

It's like Wilbur Smith crossed with Douglas Adams! :awesome:
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Svartalf » Fri Sep 27, 2019 2:00 pm

As sir Reginald Frogwinkle-Smythe buttoned up his frock coat, he was reflecting that he was getting too old to attend those functions.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Fri Sep 27, 2019 5:28 pm

As Jeremy spread Marmite on his toast, the dark unction stolidly resisting his efforts to push it out to the crust, his thoughts turned once again to Susan, the only woman he had ever truly loved and whose spare prosthetic leg was now propped up in the corner where it stood like a solitary juror ready to deliver the final, condemning verdict.
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Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Svartalf » Thu Oct 03, 2019 3:50 pm

Her name was Jiang Qing and she had the timeless beauty of oriental women who have lost the bloom of youth and not yet truly entered old age
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by blindfaith » Fri Oct 04, 2019 11:17 am

Derek stood there, erect and proud, his shuddering member purple with eagerness, looking at his next conquest.
She was 93, blind, deaf, breasts like a beagles ear and a vagina like a punched lasagna.

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Fri Oct 04, 2019 4:32 pm

Come on, a vagina like punched lasagna? :lol: That's brilliant, it'll never work.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Svartalf » Fri Oct 04, 2019 4:42 pm

All of a sudden, I was hungry and I hankered for the traditional taste of italian dishes.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by pErvinalia » Fri Oct 04, 2019 11:49 pm

Frank put down his knife and fork and punched the lasagne.
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"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by pErvinalia » Sat Oct 05, 2019 2:42 am

He really hated cheese.
Sent from my penis using wankertalk.
"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
"Seth you are a boon to this community" - Cunt.
"My penis is VERY small" - Cunt.

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Svartalf » Sat Oct 05, 2019 12:26 pm

There’s a list of people with whom I would use that opening. She said, surprising no one.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Sat Oct 05, 2019 7:50 pm

When the last of the pickled artichokes were gone Frank realised, somewhat belatedly, that he would have to resort to cannibalism. What surprised him the most about this was the ease with which he accommodated that thought. But then again, he'd never really liked artichokes that much anyway.
Rationalia relies on voluntary donations. There is no obligation of course, but if you value this place and want to see it continue please consider making a small donation towards the forum's running costs.
Details on how to do that can be found here.

.

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

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