Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by pErvinalia » Fri Sep 20, 2019 8:42 am

She uncrossed her legs and let the cool breeze blow up her cavernous vagina.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Fri Sep 20, 2019 2:38 pm

Or, she uncrossed her legs and let the winds blow.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Fri Sep 20, 2019 2:39 pm

Or, when unsure, keep the legs crossed and lean away from it.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Tero » Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:19 pm

"I farted, but something else came out too."
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Fri Sep 20, 2019 8:21 pm

It was with an air of mild disgruntlement that Bertrand noticed the windowsill had weathered badly that summer, and would no doubt need repainting before the winter set in, as his unbalanced bulk continued over the threshold on his inevitable journey towards the pavement five stories below.
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Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Joe » Fri Sep 20, 2019 8:43 pm

The fullback's legs churned as he carried a pile of defenders into the end zone for the winning score. I started to leap to my feet to cheer, and realized yet again: I no longer had feet, didn't like football, and only watched because I couldn't change the channel, my hands having joined my feet and the rest of my body in death the day before.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by PsychoSerenity » Fri Sep 20, 2019 10:18 pm

"Well, well then, um, as Plutarch might say, um, what we need is a scapegoat! Aha" blathered the Prime Minister. "Wouldn't horses be faster?" asked the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster.






Oh sorry, you said fiction, didn't you?
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Fri Sep 20, 2019 10:24 pm

We'll settle for plausible deniability, the next best thing.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Sat Sep 21, 2019 5:43 pm

It trousers were the measure of a man then Stanley was coming up short.
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"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

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"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Sat Sep 21, 2019 11:38 pm

Lester 'Bumtic', not for any insect therein, but rather for the grotesque way his buttocks would randomly clench, which, given his ample cheek, was sadly always visible through the folds of his pants.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Mon Sep 23, 2019 3:13 pm

It was later than I was accustomed, but still before midnight, five minutes till to be exact, and all was quiet, too quiet.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Mon Sep 23, 2019 3:27 pm

Joe wrote:
Fri Sep 20, 2019 8:43 pm
The fullback's legs churned as he carried a pile of defenders into the end zone for the winning score. I started to leap to my feet to cheer, and realized yet again: I no longer had feet, didn't like football, and only watched because I couldn't change the channel, my hands having joined my feet and the rest of my body in death the day before.
This isn't bad, which means it's no good for our purposes! Try harder, think dumb thoughts. :biggrin:
"The world is nonsense bro"

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Joe » Mon Sep 23, 2019 3:58 pm

Awww man!!! I can't even be dumb enough! :lay:

Here, I'll steal someone else's dumbness:
I don't do it for the money. I’ve got enough, much more than I’ll ever need. I do it to do it. Deals are my art form. Other people paint beautifully on canvas or write wonderful poetry. I like making deals, preferably big deals. That’s how I get my kicks.
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein
"as far as strong, i am hard as a rock and tough as a nail. no one will bring me down. no one. i am the debonator. the tnt. and jesus has my back door pal!" - D. C. Bockemehl
"If you vote for idiots, idiots will run the country." - Dr. Kori Schake

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Mon Sep 23, 2019 4:24 pm

:lol: --he's a fucking virus man!
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Mon Sep 23, 2019 9:39 pm

The gaunt figure waved his arms like an evil windmill in a malevolent gale.
Rationalia relies on voluntary donations. There is no obligation of course, but if you value this place and want to see it continue please consider making a small donation towards the forum's running costs.
Details on how to do that can be found here.

.

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

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