Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

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laklak
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by laklak » Wed Sep 18, 2019 8:02 pm

Captain Leslie Frothington-Smythe, RAF ace, keyed his throat mike as he watched the cold, grey waters of the English Channel just meters under the wings of his stricken Spitfire, and called Freddy 'Bubbles' Worthington, his wingman, former fag at Eton, and most loyal friend, who had faithfully followed only yards behind his smoking fighter since they were jumped by two Hun BF-109s who appeared out of the sun just over the Belgian coast, and said "This could be it Bubbles, rum luck and all that, make sure you tell Penelope, well, you know, old man".
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Wed Sep 18, 2019 8:11 pm

:lol: --I'm tearing up.
"The world is nonsense bro"

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Rum » Wed Sep 18, 2019 8:20 pm

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a WiFi.

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Tero » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:36 am

It was a normal day: I got plain bagels, cream cheese, pears and a can of generic cat food for Spot, my three legged cat.
http://karireport.blogspot.com/ (:_funny_:)
http://esapolitics.blogspot.com/
Dominus vo-bisque'em Et cum spear a tu-tu, oh!

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:50 am

It was a dull, miserable day in September, and the clocks were striking twelfty-six.
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"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

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"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

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pErvinalia
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by pErvinalia » Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:33 am

Everything was going as planned, until Frank sharted.
Sent from my penis using wankertalk.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by JimC » Thu Sep 19, 2019 5:46 am

"I say, Bertie!" Biggles ejaculated.

Algy had to clean up...
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Hermit » Thu Sep 19, 2019 10:33 am

"If you don't at first succeed, give up" muttered Lawrence when the condom broke while he was rolling it on.

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by rainbow » Thu Sep 19, 2019 12:34 pm

"Aaaaaaarrrgh!" exclaimed the privateer
"Nay, be it arrrgh" replied the pirate.
"Oh all right, I'll get the next round" said the buccaneer
Dig, 'cos I got my own world to live through
And I ain't gonna copy you

Jimi Hendrix

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:39 pm

"Where's your buccaneers?" asked Major McTavish of the notorious pirate leader Pink Pete, who at that moment writhed fruitlessly amid a hasty lash of sail rope that bound him like a seething pile of spawning vipers. "Under me buccing hat!" the erstwhile privateer replied, punctuating a further expletive with a defiant gob upon the Major's polished left boot for good measure.
Rationalia relies on voluntary donations. There is no obligation of course, but if you value this place and want to see it continue please consider making a small donation towards the forum's running costs.
Details on how to do that can be found here.

.

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Fri Sep 20, 2019 5:29 am

A roaches guts, a bum hair tickle, by the devil's hand I make this man's cock a warty pickle!
"The world is nonsense bro"

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by rainbow » Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:22 am

It was a hot and humid day
Dig, 'cos I got my own world to live through
And I ain't gonna copy you

Jimi Hendrix

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laklak
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by laklak » Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:26 am

Bear Savage, the great white hunter, scanned the African darkness. "It's quiet", he said, "too quiet".
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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pErvinalia
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by pErvinalia » Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:39 am

John woke up at 7.30am.
Sent from my penis using wankertalk.
"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
"Seth you are a boon to this community" - Cunt.
"My penis is VERY small" - Cunt.

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by rainbow » Fri Sep 20, 2019 8:33 am

She slipped on the flimsiest sundress, and wore no underwear, not caring if the builders down the road caught a glimpse of her ample, but slightly sagging bum.
Dig, 'cos I got my own world to live through
And I ain't gonna copy you

Jimi Hendrix

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