Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Sean Hayden » Mon Dec 05, 2022 5:31 pm

Well, that’s me all hot’n bothered. :biggrin:

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Brian Peacock » Mon Dec 05, 2022 5:52 pm

As the offside front dipped over edge of the precipitous mountain pass, hopelessly looking for traction where none existed, Quinton realised that only cheese could save him now.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by rainbow » Mon Dec 05, 2022 7:05 pm

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Svartalf » Mon Dec 05, 2022 7:32 pm

Under Vlad's condescending gaze, don received his golden shower from the blonde strumpet. After she had performed the service for which she had been brought into the presence of the world's two most powerful men, Vlad clapped his hands, and a uniformed flunky with the insigns of an FSB lieutenant brought a small round package. With an expression that was half extatic, half suspicious, she received her reward, and undid the paper that wrapped a circular wooden box flat on top and bottom. Slowly, for she was not much used to the western letters that adorned the lable, she read, "ca... men... bert..". and her eyes popped out in wonder." The authentic French stuff, lyuba", vladimir said.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by rasetsu » Fri Dec 09, 2022 8:09 pm

Svartalf wrote:
Mon Dec 05, 2022 2:41 pm
I wish it were that simple
Maybe it's your technique. :coffee:

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Svartalf » Fri Dec 09, 2022 9:22 pm

do you mean I'm too wordy, or that I should choose cheese that smells stronger than the deo on my pits?
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by laklak » Fri Dec 09, 2022 10:36 pm

Play to your strengths, Svarty. Cheese, wine, and snails. What woman could resist?

I just bought a #3 can of snails. I have no idea why this size cans of snails just showed up in a supermarket in Mbabane, but I'm not one to look a gift mollusk in the siphon. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with them. Snail au gratin? Tatties n' snails?

I do have some frozen puff pastry. I'm sure I can come up with something. I shall post pics.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by pErvinalia » Fri Dec 09, 2022 11:05 pm


laklak wrote: but I'm not one to look a gift mollusk in the siphon.
Image

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Svartalf » Fri Dec 09, 2022 11:16 pm

laklak wrote:
Fri Dec 09, 2022 10:36 pm
Play to your strengths, Svarty. Cheese, wine, and snails. What woman could resist?

I just bought a #3 can of snails. I have no idea why this size cans of snails just showed up in a supermarket in Mbabane, but I'm not one to look a gift mollusk in the siphon. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with them. Snail au gratin? Tatties n' snails?

I do have some frozen puff pastry. I'm sure I can come up with something. I shall post pics.
snails? I've already been called slimy, so I didn't think I needed those.

an d whatever you put with them, don't forget melted butter with garlic and herbs (local herbs are preferred but garlic is mandatory)
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by JimC » Sat Dec 10, 2022 2:08 am

I've never met a mollusc that I haven't wanted to devour. Such a succulent Phylum...
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Svartalf » Sat Dec 10, 2022 2:51 am

aren't there quite a few venomous, and possibly inedible ones?
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by JimC » Sat Dec 10, 2022 4:18 am

Svartalf wrote:
Sat Dec 10, 2022 2:51 am
aren't there quite a few venomous, and possibly inedible ones?
Venomous certainly, cone shells and the blue ringed octopus as examples. Inedible/poisonous ones include several slugs and land snails, while marine molluscs in polluted waters can, of course, be dangerously toxic...

But the rest are delicious!
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by laklak » Sat Dec 10, 2022 7:25 am

JimC wrote:
Sat Dec 10, 2022 2:08 am
I've never met a mollusc that I haven't wanted to devour. Such a succulent Phylum...
Preach. Oysters are my favorite. I've never actually gotten full eating oysters, my record is about 5 dozen. I just run out of money.

I'm partial to crustaceans, too.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by Svartalf » Sat Dec 10, 2022 2:44 pm

I hear you need about 16 dozen to get you full.
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Re: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Post by rasetsu » Sat Dec 10, 2022 7:48 pm


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