Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

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Tero
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Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

Post by Tero » Tue Sep 05, 2017 2:39 pm

...favorite authors.

Try to screw up the style and expectations as badly as possible.

Tolkien: The three hobbits went up the hill and then they went down the other side directly to Rivendell through a very small forest.

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Re: Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

Post by pErvinalia » Tue Sep 05, 2017 2:44 pm

:lol:
Sent from my penis using wankertalk.
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Re: Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

Post by Hermit » Tue Sep 05, 2017 5:52 pm

Genesis - Anon

Image

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Brian Peacock
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Re: Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

Post by Brian Peacock » Tue Sep 05, 2017 7:31 pm

Dear diary,

Today I went fishing and caught big a fish.

--- Hemingway, The Old Man And The Sea.
.

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

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Tero
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Re: Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

Post by Tero » Tue Sep 05, 2017 10:54 pm

:funny:

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Re: Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

Post by Tero » Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:26 am

Billy Pilgrim becomes a front line commando, managing all kinds of sabotage behind enemy lines. On the last week of fighting he is caught, sent to Dresden and dies in the fire bombing. He never gets to read Killgore Trout in the back of underpants men's magazines and his widow gets the posthumous purple heart medal.

Montana Wildhack has to mate with Tom Hanks on that planet with the dome in an entirely different book.

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Re: Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

Post by Brian Peacock » Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:50 am

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a semi-automatic and drawing the attention of a superior force, must be in want of more ammo.

-- Andy McNabb, Bravo Two-Zero
.

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice.
There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Frank Zappa

"This is how humanity ends; bickering over the irrelevant."
Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
.

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devogue
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Re: Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

Post by devogue » Wed Sep 06, 2017 8:26 am

This is my favourite thread. :lol:

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Re: Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

Post by Sean Hayden » Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:08 pm

The puzzle of the positronic brain is difficult, like a 1000 piece puzzle; like a 1000 piece puzzle of really small pieces. You'd need help with something like that, mused Baley, and even if you did get it together. "One piece is sure to be missing" Daneel interjected.
That was most unrobot like Daneel.

Isaac Asimov, The Naked Sun
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-Russian troll

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Re: Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

Post by JacksSmirkingRevenge » Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:38 pm

Derived from an ebonics translator... :)

"Yo page me Ishmael. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - havin` little or nahh money in muh motha fuckin purse, an' nuttin' particular ta interest me on shore, ah thought ah would sail 'bouta little an' see da watery part o' da world. It be uh way ah gots o' rollin' off da spleen an' regulating da circulation. Whenever ah find myself growing grim 'boutthe mouf; whenever it be uh damp, drizzly November in muh motha fuckin soul; whenever ah find myself involuntarily pausing 'bfoe coffin warehouses, an' bringing up da rear o' every funeral ah meet; an' especially whenever muh motha fuckin hypos git such an upper hand o' me, dat it requires uh strong moral principle ta prevent me from deliberately stepping into da street, an' methodically knocking niggas's hats off - then, ah account it high tyme ta git ta sea as soon as ah can. Dis here iz muh motha fuckin substitute fo' gat an' ball."

Herman Melville.
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Re: Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

Post by Rum » Wed Sep 06, 2017 4:22 pm

As Bond replaced the smoking Beretta 418 in its holster he was overwhelmed with a sudden realization. An epiphany . His ultra-promiscuity and his obsessive killing were the result of his mother forcing potty training on him at much too early an age. The sudden insight overwhelmed him and tears both of shame and relief began to run down his rugged features.

Ian Fleming
1961

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Tero
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Re: Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

Post by Tero » Wed Sep 06, 2017 7:55 pm

:laugh:

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Re: Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

Post by Śiva » Thu Jul 26, 2018 5:13 am

Once upon a time there was this sociable, well adjusted, resident of St. Petersburg who helped his kindly old pawnbroker woman bring up her groceries. He had a good job as a government bureaucrat and lived a life of health, wealth, and happiness.

The End.
People hardly ever make use of the freedoms they have, such as freedom of thought, instead they demand freedom of speech as compensation.

Soren Kierkegaard

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Re: Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

Post by Svartalf » Thu Jul 26, 2018 9:26 am

Rochefort knew the upstart gascon was good with a sword, so he surprised him by closing in and slamming his rapier's pommel into his temple. Young d'Artagnan fell like a sack of flour and Rochefort ran him through before rifling the body to retrieve the letter to M de Tréville. The Cardinal would be satisfied.

The End.
Embrace the Darkness, it needs a hug

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Re: Lines or paragraphs NEVER written by..

Post by JimC » Thu Jul 26, 2018 9:33 am

Biggles landed his Camel, strode to the mess and announced to all and sundry that he was gay, was resigning his commission, and was going to join the priesthood.
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

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