BIG BROTHER STARTS TONIGHT!!!

[devogue]

The World Cup and Big Brother in the same week.

I am shitting myself with happiness!!

[Bella Fortuna]

At least you have a reason for soiling yourself this time.

[Animavore]

I thought last year's one was supposed to be the last?

[rachelbean]

People are still watching that?

[devogue]

I thought last year's one was supposed to be the last?

No.

People are still watching that?

Yes.

[Azathoth]

[devogue]

Sigh, I suppose it needs another run out...

I'm sick of it.

I'm sick to death of countless idiots bleating on about how rubbish Big Brother is, how it "plumbs the depths" of voyeurism, visciousness, vaingloriousness, vulgarity and every other V word up to but not including vaginishness (because I just made that up - but they would like to use it).

This particular rant is aimed at one of those piss-poor "journalists" in my local rag who slagged off BB with all the usual rehashed criticisms. Yadda yadda yawn yawn...

Big Brother is magnificent. It is the height of televisual art if it is viewed from the right perspective, and not the jaundiced eye of the ignorant, misinformed, uber-right on journos and their slavering yis-bozz following in the general public.

Rather than being the sad ogle-fest populated by "losers, freaks and weirdos" (which is always a reference to the homosexual, transexual, "alteranative" housemates whom the same journo pukes celebrate and fall over each other to be right-on about in every other aspect of national life), it is clear that the producers and psychologists employed by the show have worked hard to serve us up a dose of 15 people who are have varying talents or personality traits in some areas but not in others, creating a truly fascinating insight in to human nature every summer, exposing our strengths, weaknesses, foibles, insecurities, prejudices and, indeed, greatness as a species.

For instance, this year the anchor in the house is Siavash - the genial bloke, the everyman who flits between the cliques and chills everyone out - there's always an anchor like Siavash - remember big Liam who won the £100k, or Pete who won in 2006?

Then there are the Machiavellian game players, the ones who seem to know exactly what the public are thinking, or what they want, and act accordingly - this year it's Marcus, last year it was Rex.

Even the eye candy for the boys and girls are carefully selected - enough to keep those who want to see a bit of soapy romance happy, but also to create that extra frisson of friction among the other housemates.

Throw an annoying bastard or three in to the fold and a liberal dash of alcohol and hey presto...TV heaven.

It's got everything - for lovers of sport there is the competitiveness of the tasks, for those interested in natural selection there is the cruel finality of the nomination and eviction process, if politics rocks your boat there is the endless politicking, the fine line which is worked by the truly great housemates - calling someone an asshole which guarantees he will nominate you while hoping his friends don't nominate you, but if they do will the public vote you out? takes a hell of a lot of careful thought, analysis and consideration.

If you like romance there is the hope that X will shag Y. If you enjoy the shock-horror outrage of backstabbing every whisper, no matter how soft, can be heard and if you enjoy the power of overseeing all while hearing the analysis of someone who has only 10% of the information to hand, there is the joy of the Diary Room.

Then there is coping with the cabin fever, the tiny habits of a person which become giant irritants, worrying about flashing your willy when having a shower...pressure...pressure...pressure...

As a viewer, there is next to nothing on TV these days anyway. I work twelve hour shifts, and apart from the odd break when I write down thoughts like this I don't have much in the way of entertainment. I don't want to come home at night and listen to some poxy MP evade Jeremy Paxman's questions (I can read the papers for that sort of thing) - I want a bit of escapism, in much the same way as the housemates are escaping from the real world in to reality TV. It's a fair trade.

I'm sick of halfwit (geddit?) media types telling me what is good for me to watch and what isn't. I don't like TV drama, I enjoy documentaries like Horizon and South Pacific, I like sport but hate Review based programmes, I like Grand Designs but hate Relocation Relocation.

Your list of likes and dislikes is probably as varied as mine.

If you don't like it, then fine, but don't ram your opinion down my throat and spread your own second hand, second rate oh-so-highbrow opinions which have been formulated for you and presented with a pretty ribbon by someone else higher up the media ladder as some sort of definitive, default stance. How dare you lobby to cancel my entertainment just because you want to watch Save the Lentils programmes or some other arse-washery.

[Animavore]

No.

They bloody well did say it'd be the last. The bastards

[Rum]

Its rubbish whatever you say in its defence Dev. Utter bilge.

However as with threads one disagrees with here one has the option not to look - and that's the one I choose.

[Clinton Huxley]

As the light fades and the final death-rattle escapes your haggard lips, will your final thought be - "You know what, I wish I'd watched even more Big Brother!"?

Its piss.

Of course, you could say the same about this place

[devogue]

As the light fades and the final death-rattle escapes your haggard lips, will your final thought be - "You know what, I wish I'd watched even more Big Brother!"?

Its piss.

Of course, you could say the same about this place

Spot on.

[Bella Fortuna]

As the light fades and the final death-rattle escapes your haggard lips, will your final thought be - "You know what, I wish I'd watched even more Big Brother!"?

Its piss.

Of course, you could say the same about this place

EVICTED!

[Bella Fortuna]

As the light fades and the final death-rattle escapes your haggard lips, will your final thought be - "You know what, I wish I'd watched even more Big Brother!"?

Its piss.

Of course, you could say the same about this place

Spot on.

DOUBLE EVICTED!

[owtth]

If I wanted to watch a bunch of wasters pissing about the house all day doing nothing except winge about food, I'd go back to college.

[RuleBritannia]

Big Brother and the World Cup! Two reasons to be at the pub.