Favourite Simpsons quotes.

[klr]

Burns: "Dogs are idiots! Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?"

Smithers: "If you did it, sir?"

[Chinaski]

Marge: Bart, I’m starting to worry about your father.
Bart: Well, I know he seems to get dumber every year, but lately he’s plateaued.

[Xamonas Chegwé]

Mr. Burns: [Taking Marge on an expedition] What do you think, Smithers?
Smithers: I think women and sea-men don't mix.
Mr. Burns: We know what you think.

[klr]

Burns: You know, Simpson, you're not as objectionable as you seemed when
we first met.
Homer: No, sir, I am not.

[RuleBritannia]

"Oh, so they have the Internet on computers now." -- Homer

"With $10,000, we'd be millionaires!" -- Homer

"Dear Lord, we paid for this food ourselves so thanks for nothing." -- Bart

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it’s how drunk you get." -- Homer

"I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming." -- Homer

"Me fail English? That's unpossible." -- Ralph

"To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems." -- Homer

"I'll keep it short and sweet, family, religion, friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business." -- Mr. Burns

"Oh Mother Sea, giver of fish, taker of boats, toilet to the world. The Greeks call you Poseidon. The Romans... Aquaman!" -- Homer

[Kaison]

“Ok brain, let’s get things straight. You don’t like me, and I don’t like you, so let’s do this so I can go back to killing you with beer.” - Homer

“Or what? you’ll release the dogs? Or the Bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth, and when they bark they shoot bees at you?” - Homer

[drl2]

For some reason I'm partial to these two Homer quotes, both from the same episode:

"STUPID poetic justice!"

"Mmmmm.... floor pie."

A believe it was the Simpsons movie where Ralph Wiggum saw Bart naked:

"I like men now."


There are whole sites dedicated to Ralph's quotes... a few pasted in from one of them:

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!

I bent my wookie.

The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there

Ralph: "Daddy, I'm scared. Too scared to even wet my pants."
Chief Wiggum: "Just relax and it'll come, son."

I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant

And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life

I found a moonrock in my nose!

That's where I saw the Leprechaun. He tells me to burn things!

[klr]

Jasper: Talking out of turn...that's a paddling. Looking out the window...that's a paddling. Staring at my sandals...that's a paddling. Paddling the school canoe...ooh, you better believe that's a paddling.

[Lion IRC]

I love it when Homer says praise Jebus.
All those "praise Jebus" tee-shirts athiests wear.....LOL
Jebus is the ancient name for Jerusalem.

"Praise Jerusalem"

Lion (IRC)

[Bella Fortuna]

I love it when Homer says praise Jebus.
All those "praise Jebus" tee-shirts athiests wear.....LOL
Jebus is the ancient name for Jerusalem.

"Praise Jerusalem"

Lion (IRC)

The Hebrew translation of "Jebus" means "trodden down," apparently.

[RuleBritannia]

Jebus - Jebusite

The Jebusites are descendants of Canaan, son of Ham, son of Noah. Jebus is a name that is also applied to Jerusalem (Judges 19:10, 1 Chr 11:4)

The name Jebus comes from bus (bus 216) meaning to trample down (always destructive). To construct this name the rootverb is suffixed and prefixed by a yod, denoting that we are dealing with people (says Klein), and perhaps also with God (since the prefixed yod of personal names often has its origin in YHWH).

According to the construction followed in the text the Jebusites were the first ones to take in a foreign settlement and inhabit it as if it was their own. At first sight this looks barbaric, but it happens a lot in the Bible. God did not give Israel a custom made land of milk and honey, but an already inhabited land, which needed to be jebusited. David took Jerusalem distinctively from the Jebusites (2 Sam 5:6), and did not build his own capital, like many heroes of old.

The name Jebus means Trodden Underfoot.

http://www.abarim-publications.com/Mean ... usite.html

[Chinaski]

I love it when Homer says praise Jebus.
All those "praise Jebus" tee-shirts athiests wear.....LOL
Jebus is the ancient name for Jerusalem.

"Praise Jerusalem"

Lion (IRC)

HURR DURR LOL SILLY ATHEISTS DON'T KNOW THAT JEBUS HAS A DIFFERENT MEANING.

Context, my friend, context. The importance of which a Christian like you should understand very well.

[klr]

Skinner: Would the world judge me harshly if I threw away the key?

Groundskeeper Willie: No, but the PTA would tear you a new arse!

Skinner: Wise counsel, William, but the potty talk adds nothing!

[RuleBritannia]

"Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!" -- Groundskeeper Willie

[klr]

Dr. Julius Hibbert: Homer, I'm afraid you'll have to undergo a coronary bypass operation.

Homer Simpson: Say it in English, Doc!

Dr. Julius Hibbert: You're going to need open-heart surgery.

Homer Simpson: Spare me your medical mumbo jumbo!

Dr. Julius Hibbert: We're going to cut you open and tinker with your ticker.

Homer Simpson: Could you dumb it down a shade?