I've come to harvest your monkey eggs!!!

[That Alien Guy.]

Blork! Call me Tag. It's not my name but you hominids can barely use your own primitive language without seeting fire to each other's continents so to pronounce my name would probably shut your central nervous systems down even further.

Anyway as I said, Blork! I'm just kicking around on Earv until such time that my 3sbandife turns up and we can get out of here, unless something more interesting than you lot exploding metal at each other happens. Still the public gets what the public demands and "Chimp Wars" is one of the longest running comedy shows in the CGC, so I get the job of trying to provide some context to this nonsense so we can get a grant to make it because it's "educational"

And that is why I am here.

You hind leg rodents create fora which are dedicated to a linguisitic version of "Chimp Wars" and so I've hooked this place up to the Ulteranet, to provide context. I hope you don't mind me piggybacking your little dramas but lets face it the only significance you creatures have is your hilarious self targetted violence.

So I'm going to be asking questions about you filthy cheese reeking fleabags for the boffins of actual civilisations to figure out how we can get a season as good as that one with the little guy with the moustache and funny pants.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I try to keep the hominids under control, but they breed like rabbits. (Or at least they practice the basics a whole lot, not sure any actual breeding is intended.)

[Bella Fortuna]

Welcome, O Green-headed One!

[That Alien Guy.]

To the Gawdzilla.

It is the uselessness and helplessness of their neonatal pod-lings which needs exploited. I had an idea for a broadcast where we kidnap some from their mothers and then force a team of them to fly a plane. Granted this might mean a lot of deaths of podlings, but it would make a great show and after a few millenia of environmental adaptation, one day a baby will fly a plane.

Think about the viewing figures for that. Hell it might even bring better class of tourism to your planet than those butt probing fucks from Alabor 3.

Your Roentgen levels are through the roof incidently. You been taking a back in the Sea of Japan?

To the Bella Fortuna.
Blork! to you too.

[Rum]

Green is soooo yesterday..

[That Alien Guy.]

Green is soooo yesterday..

Ah yes the good old Simian, my skin colour is better than yours.

Good stuff Grey-hair.

[colubridae]

Chucky! you're back. Welcome home. We've missed you so much.

[That Alien Guy.]

Chucky! you're back. Welcome home. We've missed you so much.

I know not who this Chucky is you Roman Snake.

[colubridae]

Chucky! you're back. Welcome home. We've missed you so much.

I know not who this Chucky is you Roman Snake.

Of course you don't. I mean in the global sense. We haven't had one of you for some time.

I'm predicting rain.

[Bella Fortuna]

Do I know you well enough to let you Blork! me?

[That Alien Guy.]

To the Colubridae

Wait, one of the producers of "Chimp Wars" has been on here? Who?

Predicting rain is a safe bet.

To The Bella Fortuna.

Blork! is simply a greeting.

[Bella Fortuna]

Do you have whirling razor cubes on your planet?

[That Alien Guy.]

I was looking through your wikipedia for this and found no mention. I assume this is some kind of heavy ordinance or sex toy?

[Bella Fortuna]

I was looking through your wikipedia for this and found no mention. I assume this is some kind of heavy ordinance or sex toy?

Yes.

[That Alien Guy.]

Ooooh, things just got hot and ugly in a suburb of Damascus. I'm off to get footage.

Laterz.