How goes it?
Have any good jokes?
Howdy folks
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Orwellian
- Clerk, Records Department, Ministry of Truth
- Posts: 98
- Joined: Mon Jun 13, 2011 12:05 pm
- About me: I am an intellectual, a member of the Outer Party, and I live in the ruins of London. I grew up in the post-Second World War UK, during the revolution and the civil war after which the Party assumed power. During the civil war, Ingsoc placed me in an orphanage for training and subsequent employment as a civil servant. I maintain a squalid existence, living in a one-room apartment, eating a subsistence diet of black bread and synthetic meals washed down with Victory-brand gin. I keep a journal of negative thoughts and opinions about the Party and Big Brother, which, if discovered by the Thought Police, will warrant death, so don't tell on me. I am fortunate, because the apartment I live in has an alcove, beside the telescreen, where it cannot see me, and so my thoughts remain private.
- Location: Airstrip One, Oceania
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Gawdzilla Sama
- Stabsobermaschinist
- Posts: 151265
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- About me: My posts are related to the thread in the same way Gliese 651b is related to your mother's underwear drawer.
- Location: Sitting next to Ayaan in Domus Draconis, and communicating via PMs.
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Re: Howdy folks
Two Irishmen walk out of a bar.
Ein Ubootsoldat wrote:“Ich melde mich ab. Grüssen Sie bitte meine Kameraden.”
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Pappa
- Non-Practicing Anarchist
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- About me: I am sacrificing a turnip as I type.
- Location: Le sud du Pays de Galles.
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Re: Howdy folks
I both love and hate this thread at the same time.
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Feral_Punctuation
- Proud Member of the Atheist Sex Cult
- Posts: 461
- Joined: Tue Aug 10, 2010 9:56 pm
- About me: Sorry for my wandering eye.
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Re: Howdy folks
How many babies does it take to paint a room?
Depend how hard you throw them.
EDIT:
Hello, btw
Depend how hard you throw them.
EDIT:
Hello, btw
Post count +1
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Coito ergo sum
- Posts: 32040
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Re: Howdy folks
A truck driver picks up a woman hitch hiker on the side o the road.
He pulls over on the side of the road a few blocks down and the woman asks him what he is doing? He asks her if she wants to have sex? She says "I can't I'm on my period."
He says "That doesn't matter."
So they get in the back of the cab and he is eating her out.
A police officer drives by and sees the truck rocking.
So he gets out and knocks on the door of the truck.
The truck driver opens the door and asks if he can help the officer.
The officer asks him what he is doing? He says liking his fingers "Eating Pizza!"
He pulls over on the side of the road a few blocks down and the woman asks him what he is doing? He asks her if she wants to have sex? She says "I can't I'm on my period."
He says "That doesn't matter."
So they get in the back of the cab and he is eating her out.
A police officer drives by and sees the truck rocking.
So he gets out and knocks on the door of the truck.
The truck driver opens the door and asks if he can help the officer.
The officer asks him what he is doing? He says liking his fingers "Eating Pizza!"
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Orwellian
- Clerk, Records Department, Ministry of Truth
- Posts: 98
- Joined: Mon Jun 13, 2011 12:05 pm
- About me: I am an intellectual, a member of the Outer Party, and I live in the ruins of London. I grew up in the post-Second World War UK, during the revolution and the civil war after which the Party assumed power. During the civil war, Ingsoc placed me in an orphanage for training and subsequent employment as a civil servant. I maintain a squalid existence, living in a one-room apartment, eating a subsistence diet of black bread and synthetic meals washed down with Victory-brand gin. I keep a journal of negative thoughts and opinions about the Party and Big Brother, which, if discovered by the Thought Police, will warrant death, so don't tell on me. I am fortunate, because the apartment I live in has an alcove, beside the telescreen, where it cannot see me, and so my thoughts remain private.
- Location: Airstrip One, Oceania
- Contact:
Re: Howdy folks
Nice...lol
To the future or to the past, to a time when thought is free, when men are different from one another and do not live alone — to a time when truth exists and what is done cannot be undone: From the age of uniformity, from the age of solitude, from the age of Big Brother, from the age of doublethink — greetings!
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devogue
Re: Howdy folks
His fingers were on Facebook?Coito ergo sum wrote:A truck driver picks up a woman hitch hiker on the side o the road.
He pulls over on the side of the road a few blocks down and the woman asks him what he is doing? He asks her if she wants to have sex? She says "I can't I'm on my period."
He says "That doesn't matter."
So they get in the back of the cab and he is eating her out.
A police officer drives by and sees the truck rocking.
So he gets out and knocks on the door of the truck.
The truck driver opens the door and asks if he can help the officer.
The officer asks him what he is doing? He says liking his fingers "Eating Pizza!"
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devogue
Re: Howdy folks
Q. What do you call a grumpy vase with a big red nose?
A. Ceramic Ferguson
A. Ceramic Ferguson
Re: Howdy folks
I went out into the garden and, to my horror, my wife was slumped on the grass.
The fucking dog had dug her up again.
The fucking dog had dug her up again.
Libertarianism: The belief that out of all the terrible things governments can do, helping people is the absolute worst.
Re: Howdy folks
I just asked a welsh mate of mine how many sexual partners he's had. Bizarrely, he started counting, then fell asleep.
Libertarianism: The belief that out of all the terrible things governments can do, helping people is the absolute worst.
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Feral_Punctuation
- Proud Member of the Atheist Sex Cult
- Posts: 461
- Joined: Tue Aug 10, 2010 9:56 pm
- About me: Sorry for my wandering eye.
- Contact:
Re: Howdy folks
I was having a waterfight with some local kids, the other day. I won, of course. No-one's a match for me and my kettle.
Post count +1
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Gawdzilla Sama
- Stabsobermaschinist
- Posts: 151265
- Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:24 am
- About me: My posts are related to the thread in the same way Gliese 651b is related to your mother's underwear drawer.
- Location: Sitting next to Ayaan in Domus Draconis, and communicating via PMs.
- Contact:
Re: Howdy folks
Missing: My wife, my bassboat and my dog. Reward for return of boat and dog.Animavore wrote:I went out into the garden and, to my horror, my wife was slumped on the grass.
The fucking dog had dug her up again.
Ein Ubootsoldat wrote:“Ich melde mich ab. Grüssen Sie bitte meine Kameraden.”
Re: Howdy folks
My wife and I auditioned for Britain's Got Talent last month.
Simon said, "What is your act?"
I said, "Magic."
He said, "Okay, so what are you both going to do?"
I said, "We are going to make a child disappear into thin air."
He said, "Have you ever done this before?"
I said, "Yes, once."
He said, "Okay Gerry & Kate, good luck."
Simon said, "What is your act?"
I said, "Magic."
He said, "Okay, so what are you both going to do?"
I said, "We are going to make a child disappear into thin air."
He said, "Have you ever done this before?"
I said, "Yes, once."
He said, "Okay Gerry & Kate, good luck."
Give me the wine , I don't need the bread
Re: Howdy folks
Some random woman stopped me in the street today and started telling me a joke. It had all the ingredients of a good joke: child abuse; incestual rape; tears and suffering; but I didn't understand the punchline. Something about £2 a month?
Give me the wine , I don't need the bread
Re: Howdy folks
Picasso had affairs with most of his models. Although some tried to resist his charms, they found themselves strangely drawn.
Libertarianism: The belief that out of all the terrible things governments can do, helping people is the absolute worst.
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