Holy Water.

Holy Crap!
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Alan B
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Holy Water.

Post by Alan B » Wed Apr 04, 2018 12:42 pm

Holy Water
Which is made by talking to ordinary water.

Priest: "Er.. Hello, ordinary water. I'm going to talk to you using Holy Words and I may wave my hands around a bit as well. After I'm finished you will be a different water. You will have the power to combat the devil and get rid of evil spirits."

HW: “Why can’t you do all that?”

Priest: “Er.. mm.. Well, that’s what I made you for. I then add you to a lot of ordinary water in a large stone bowl called a Font.”

HW: “Won’t I get diluted – er, loose some of my power?”

Priest: “Oh, no. Any water that you are added to will automatically become Holy and have the same powers as you.”

HW: “If you clean the Font do you have to de-holify me?”

Priest: “Not necessarily. I just pour you away somewhere.”

HW: “So that means I can mix with lots more ordinary water and make that Holy as well. Erm… If that is the case then, that means that I only need to be made once and you can use what you call ordinary water since it will all be Holy.”

Priest: (Deafening silence ensued)
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Re: Holy Water.

Post by pErvinalia » Wed Apr 04, 2018 12:48 pm

:lol:
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Re: Holy Water.

Post by Svartalf » Wed Apr 04, 2018 2:26 pm

:ask: holy water is most useful when playing role playing games, very hurtful to fiends and undead...
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Re: Holy Water.

Post by pErvinalia » Wed Apr 04, 2018 2:42 pm

They should just drop one vile of holy water into the ocean. After few weeks or so all accessible water on the planet should be holy. Perhaps not bore water... that might need special treatment.
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Re: Holy Water.

Post by laklak » Wed Apr 04, 2018 3:52 pm

So Holy water is the godly equivalent of Ice 9?
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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Re: Holy Water.

Post by Strontium Dog » Wed Apr 04, 2018 4:03 pm

They should bottle Katy Perry's bath water. I'd buy it.
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Re: Holy Water.

Post by laklak » Wed Apr 04, 2018 4:03 pm

Tell me about it. I'd crawl across a mile of broken glass to sniff the hubcaps of the laundry truck that delivers her knickers.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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Re: Holy Water.

Post by Rum » Wed Apr 04, 2018 4:22 pm

batmanwater.jpg

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Re: Holy Water.

Post by Brian Peacock » Wed Apr 04, 2018 5:57 pm

I can turn wine into water.
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Re: Holy Water.

Post by Mishakal » Thu Apr 05, 2018 12:57 am

The Ganges River, the Totally Holy River of India!
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Re: Holy Water.

Post by pErvinalia » Thu Apr 05, 2018 1:32 am

I've been at that ghat (it's in Kolkata), and it's not the Ganges. There's not enough dead bodies in it to qualify for holy water status.. :prof:
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Re: Holy Water.

Post by mistermack » Sat Apr 07, 2018 6:33 am

Since all water is holy by mixing, and the human body is about sixty percent water, that means we are all holy.

But maybe modern waste treatment plants filter out the holiness. They are very efficient.
The holiness then ends up getting spread on fields, where it is indistinguishable from bull shit.

You would think that if one priest blessed the ocean every day, that would keep us all holy. But apparently, holiness does not evaporate so the rain is unholy.

And that's why we need priests, and ought to overlook their occasional trivial misdeeds.
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Re: Holy Water.

Post by pErvinalia » Sat Apr 07, 2018 6:55 am

Holy water is basically religious homeopathy.
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"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
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Re: Holy Water.

Post by laklak » Sat Apr 07, 2018 12:50 pm

I can't recall if "ghat" means sewer, or mortuary.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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Re: Holy Water.

Post by pErvinalia » Sat Apr 07, 2018 12:58 pm

laklak wrote:I can't recall if "ghat" means sewer, or mortuary.
It means sewer, mortuary, bath, and drinking water source.
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"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
"Seth you are a boon to this community" - Cunt.
"I am seriously thinking of going on a spree killing" - Svartalf.

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