Things to thank God for!

[Rum]

Watching a silly programme about the severe weather events of this year (apparently more than average..climate change?)', some south Carolina sounding woman whose son lost his leg and almost died in the episode, said she should thank God that her family survived the storm in question. Several of her neighbours didn't.Boy, you must special lady.

God works in mysterious ways.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

"Life, the Universe and everything"?

[Bella Fortuna]

Thanks fer nuffin!

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Thanks fer nuffin!

He haz muffins?

[Mr P]

Keeping the fuck out of my life.

[Mr P]

Thanks fer nuffin!

He haz muffins?

Yes and they're simply divine.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Thanks fer nuffin!

He haz muffins?

Yes and they're simply divine.

I'll take a dozen warm ones, please.

[Durro]

For my perfectly designed body ? That's the one with :-

* The blind spot in my mediocre eyes, which actually produce inverted images my brain has to correct for.
* Heavy head on a shallow cervical articulation
* Shared eating and breathing passageways making me prone to choking.
* Recurrent laryngeal nerve
* My male nipples. OK, scratch that...they may seem useless, but they can be fun to play with sometimes.
* Appendix (which ruptured when I was 13 and nearly killed me)
* Lengthy gonadal veins which empty into my renal veins
* A lumbar spine not designed for walking upright and which is prone to injury and disc prolapse
* Tortuous and lengthy vas deferens.
* Shallow and narrow pelvis - perfect for obstructing childbirth as my 1st child did, necessitating an emergency caesarian.
* External and vulnerable testes
* A useless plantaris muscle/tendon.
* Toenails
* An immune system that occasionally goes haywire (e.g. allergies) and gave me Rheumatic Fever at age 5, for which I spent 6 months in bed sick.
* Fair skin which has already had one melanoma cut out of.
* The inability to synthesize vitamin C anymore.
* Vasovagal responses at inappropriate times
etc, etc.

Thanks god - for fucking up your design so royally.

[John_fi_Skye]

.....the fact that today's the last day of Granny's holiday with us.

No, actually: THANK FUCK!

[Clinton Huxley]

Thank god for the utterly delicious lamb hotpot I made last night. Actually, scratch that, the credit is all mine. Jog on, God!

[Dries van Tonder]

For my perfectly designed body ? That's the one with :-

* The blind spot in my mediocre eyes, which actually produce inverted images my brain has to correct for.
* Heavy head on a shallow cervical articulation
* Shared eating and breathing passageways making me prone to choking.
* Recurrent laryngeal nerve
* My male nipples. OK, scratch that...they may seem useless, but they can be fun to play with sometimes.
* Appendix (which ruptured when I was 13 and nearly killed me)
* Lengthy gonadal veins which empty into my renal veins
* A lumbar spine not designed for walking upright and which is prone to injury and disc prolapse
* Tortuous and lengthy vas deferens.
* Shallow and narrow pelvis - perfect for obstructing childbirth as my 1st child did, necessitating an emergency caesarian.
* External and vulnerable testes
* A useless plantaris muscle/tendon.
* Toenails
* An immune system that occasionally goes haywire (e.g. allergies) and gave me Rheumatic Fever at age 5, for which I spent 6 months in bed sick.
* Fair skin which has already had one melanoma cut out of.
* The inability to synthesize vitamin C anymore.
* Vasovagal responses at inappropriate times
etc, etc.

Thanks god - for fucking up your design so royally.

[apophenia]

At Thanksgiving dinner, one of my sister asked me to say grace, knowing full well my views on the matter. So I solemnly intoned, "Thank you God for not existing." It wasn't the response she wanted, but stabbing her with a fork for the insult would likely have been even less welcome. Why do theists insist on repeatedly pushing your buttons?

[amused]

Renaming god as nature, then I'd say I'm impressed with the 'great ball of nuclear fire with bits of rock orbiting it' layout. And the magnetic shield, that's a good idea. And gravity - Not just a good idea, it's a law!