2. there are laws saying beer labels can't lie to you
3. you don't have to wait 2000+ years for another beer
4. nobody's ever been burned, hanged or tortured over his brand of beer
5. when you have a beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away
6. they don't force beer on minors, who can't think for themselves
7. no beer has ever caused a major war
8. beer doesn't tell you how to have sex
9. no one will kill you for not drinking beer
10. if you've devoted your life to beer, there are groups to help you stop
. And then when they come back, they can 
