A Roman Catholic Funeral

[Thinking Aloud]

Yesterday I attended the funeral of my grandmother who died last week at the age of 93. As both sides of my family are Roman Catholic, it was unsurprisingly an RC service - and my first since realising I was an out-and-out atheist, and the first where I have been certain that the deceased was simply dead, and not somehow watching from some ill-defined other theistic, deistic or unrealistic realm.

The priest was a lovely chap, very easy going, keeping things cheerful, giving the impression of slight absent-mindedness, but utterly sincere in everything he said. But the content surprised me. Perhaps the three previous RC funerals I've attended were the same, but from my newish perspective, the total emphasis on God, Jesus, baptism, faith and Heaven was quite surprising.

We were encouraged to thank God for giving us her life and her good qualities. We were told that if she'd want to say anything to us now, it would be that she's waiting for us to join her in the next life with Jesus. Admittedly, it was what she believed, and we were told that her lifelong faith had stood her in good stead for her eternal life with JC, but it still felt like it was missing the point somehow.

I'd much rather have been asked to give my belated thanks to her for having passed on her genes to my mother, and successfully raised her to adulthood, and so on, but no, I suspect that would have been God's grace too.

For all the nonsense, it was a nice service - the eulogy from my uncle said more about her than any of the stuff about how it was all God's doing. But I can't help but think that half the attendees felt like I did - as if we were listening to the bizarre telling of a fairytale, when what we should have been doing was remembering the life that had ended.

My dad forewarned me that when he goes, since he's a member of some RC brotherhoods, there will be many robes, processions and ceremonies, whether we want 'em or not. Oh joy!

[Feck]

Funerals suck, Achtland is organising mine so it might be a bit different ,you are of course invited.

[Pappa]

Sorry, we've just derailed a thread we really shouldn't have.

[Animavore]

I hated the service when my grand dad died 3 years ago. I thought it was depressing. The priest droned like a low powered vibrator and the songs and prayers were melancholy. I found out after that my grand dad was an atheist and apparently even hated the priest. He wrote in his will he wanted to be cremated but, his will wasn't even opened until after his funeral.
I would rather we had something were people just talked about him. Told stories about him and reminisced on old times.
Catholic funerals in Ireland are bollox.

[Pappa]

My mum had a CofE service just over a year ago. I was pretty angry at the time that the vicar spent more time talking about Jesus than my mum.

[Bella Fortuna]

Common theme here - When my grandfather died about ten years ago they gave him a Lutheran service, very generic. I remember being disgusted because even though he'd been raised Lutheran, he'd never been to church during my whole lifetime that I could ever recall. They hired some unknown pastor just for his denomination to stand up there and extol the virtues and remembrances of a man he'd never known or met. It seemed so cheap and meaningless, and insulting because of that. The gathering afterward at my grandparents' home where we all talked and ate and shared memories of a person we loved... that was the real honourable remembrance. The rest was smoke and mirrors, lies and play-acting.

[Beelzebub2]

I hated the service when my grand dad died 3 years ago. I thought it was depressing. The priest droned like a low powered vibrator and the songs and prayers were melancholy. I found out after that my grand dad was an atheist and apparently even hated the priest. He wrote in his will he wanted to be cremated but, his will wasn't even opened until after his funeral.
I would rather we had something were people just talked about him. Told stories about him and reminisced on old times.
Catholic funerals in Ireland are bollox.

It's the same here. Fat priests performing their role like robots.

When my grandmother died, some distant relatives came crying like crazy, albeit they never actually saw her. Everyone was competing in looking as holly and sad as possible. Some of them should have gone to drama school - they certainly performed better than most of the local soup opera and theater actors.

After the service the meal almost turned into a party. The roles changed, I guess.

[Animavore]

I hated the service when my grand dad died 3 years ago. I thought it was depressing. The priest droned like a low powered vibrator and the songs and prayers were melancholy. I found out after that my grand dad was an atheist and apparently even hated the priest. He wrote in his will he wanted to be cremated but, his will wasn't even opened until after his funeral.
I would rather we had something were people just talked about him. Told stories about him and reminisced on old times.
Catholic funerals in Ireland are bollox.

It's the same here. Fat priests performing their role like robots.

When my grandmother died, some distant relatives came crying like crazy, albeit they never actually saw her. Everyone was competing in looking as holly and sad as possible. Some of them should have gone to drama school - they certainly performed better than most of the local soup opera and theater actors.

After the service the meal almost turned into a party. The roles changed, I guess.

Yeah I hate all that holy posture crap.

I promised myself after that that I would sit down the very back from now on and avoid the huddle of despair.

[charlou]

Sorry, we've just derailed a thread we really shouldn't have.

Derail moved to The Pub: http://rationalia.co.uk/forum/viewtopic ... 99d#p67083

[Xamonas Chegwé]

I posted this back at TAF but it fits well here.

I was at a friend's mother's funeral a few weeks back. His sister had paid for a full religious service, against the wishes of him and the other 3 siblings, because, "We're going to give her a proper funeral."

Anyway, there was only one hymn in the service (although we did have to suffer a fucking awful sermon) and it was Amazing Grace. Nobody but the lady-vicar sang and she had a voice that is best described as 'feline'! To add to that, her sense of timing was non-existent and she was a line behind the organ by the end of the first verse and a verse behind by the end of the fourth! When she started singing the last verse, the organist, who had already finished once, had to rapidly join in for an encore.

As soon as we got out of the chapel and headed for the grave, everyone burst into peals of laughter and were saying things such as "If only Mum could have been here to hear that - she'd have pissed herself!"

All in all, one of the best funerals I have ever been to - and certainly the most memorable.

[traditionaldrummer]

My step mother died last March and I attended her funeral. She was Italian and received the Catholic funeral. As I am not a religious type and my only experience with catholicism was when they demanded an annulment from my already divorced ex-wife, I found the ceremony DOWNRIGHT CREEPY. I didn't know the rituals. The priest would say something, then the attendees would chant something low and creepy, and repeat ad nauseum. I didn't know the chants I was supposed to say and was the only one remaining silent. When the creep-fest was over the priest felt compelled to come talk to me. I did my best to duck out of the conversation as quickly as possible. When it was all said and done, I didn't feel relieved nor like I had some closure to it all.... I just felt dirty for some reason. I hope I never attend another catholic funeral.

[CJ]

TA. Sorry to hear of your loss.

Regarding the funeral, I attended the RC ceremony of a friend's father a few months ago. What I felt was that the deceased was no more than a bit-player in an excuse to preach about Jesus. Most distasteful really.

[Bella Fortuna]

(CJ, this was posted over a year ago)

[CJ]

(CJ, this was posted over a year ago)

You could have told me by PM

[Bella Fortuna]

(CJ, this was posted over a year ago)

You could have told me by PM

Sorry! Let us never speak of this again.