Noah and human fallibility.

[Pappa]

We all know that God is perfect and infallible, that is obviously without question. Also, it is generally accepted by everybody that human beings are prone to making mistakes. Nobody is perfect and we all cock up from time to time - basic human error. God entrusted Noah with a very important job of ensuring every species was represented by a breeding pair (or was it seven pairs) on the ark... to ensure future survival. Noah had quite a long list, one which scientists would find quite handy nowadays if only archaeologists could find it. Imagine an exact and complete list of all species in existence. That would be cool, and very handy. Anyway, I digress. God entrusted Noah the responsibility of getting all the animals on the ark. Noah found them all, checked their bollocks and vages, put them on the ark and ticked them off the list. He did this several million times.

I'm assuming that he made quite a lot of mistakes, even with an error rate of 0.1% he must have made thousands of cock-ups. Presumably he forgot some species completely, ticked the wrong box or forgot to tick it and added the same one twice. Maybe he mis-sexed some. Maybe he misidentified some, after all he wasn't a professional biologist. God, being omniscient, obviously knew Noah had an error rate and presumably he was OK with that.... unless maybe he did thousands of mini-miracles to correct Noah's mistakes. Though if he did that, why bother using Noah's skillz at all? He might as well have just magicked them on the ark himself. Besides, the Bible doesn't say God used magic, it says he used Noah.

Does God care so little about biodiversity that he's willing for thousands of species to go extinct just because Noah forgot some? And surely he must know that such a genetic bottleneck is a dicey situation for any species to be put in?

I wonder if Noah fucked up all the dinosaurs for some reason?

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Pappa, Noah and clan had to eat while they were building the Ark, and they didn't have time to tend their flocks or grow crops, so they asked for volunteered to "contribute to the general welfare". The dinos, en masse, stepped forward to be slaughtered and eat by the carnivores and omnivores that were congregating in the area. The herbivores meanwhile, subsisted entirely on a diet of Fruit Loops.

[Feck]

Noah don't put a pair of ever animal on the ark ......I know this is true cos I read it on RR their science chappie told me ,,

He only put "types" of animals on the Ark so only 2 elephants 2 deer 2 bears etc .....funny thing that evolution must be a lot quicker than we thought to get so many fucking beetles in 6 thousand years ......

[Pappa]

The herbivores meanwhile, subsisted entirely on a diet of Fruit Loops.

FUCKING HELL! THE POOR BASTARDS!!!

[Deep Sea Isopod]

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?se ... n%207:4-10

Genesis 7:4-10 (New International Version)

4 Seven days from now I will send rain on the earth for forty days and forty nights, and I will wipe from the face of the earth every living creature I have made."

5 And Noah did all that the LORD commanded him.

6 Noah was six hundred years old when the floodwaters came on the earth. 7 And Noah and his sons and his wife and his sons' wives entered the ark to escape the waters of the flood. 8 Pairs of clean and unclean animals, of birds and of all creatures that move along the ground, 9 male and female, came to Noah and entered the ark, as God had commanded Noah. 10 And after the seven days the floodwaters came on the earth.

He had to build a huge wooden ship and gather all those animals in 7 days.

[Pappa]

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?se ... n%207:4-10

Genesis 7:4-10 (New International Version)

4 Seven days from now I will send rain on the earth for forty days and forty nights, and I will wipe from the face of the earth every living creature I have made."

5 And Noah did all that the LORD commanded him.

6 Noah was six hundred years old when the floodwaters came on the earth. 7 And Noah and his sons and his wife and his sons' wives entered the ark to escape the waters of the flood. 8 Pairs of clean and unclean animals, of birds and of all creatures that move along the ground, 9 male and female, came to Noah and entered the ark, as God had commanded Noah. 10 And after the seven days the floodwaters came on the earth.

He had to build a huge wooden ship and gather all those animals in 7 days.

Did they have amphetamine in antediluvian times?

[charlou]

We all know that God

Fail.

[Pappa]

We all know that God

Fail.

It says so in teh BIBLE!!!!!1!!! :pissed: :pissed: :pissed:

[Gawdzilla Sama]

The herbivores meanwhile, subsisted entirely on a diet of Fruit Loops.

FUCKING HELL! THE POOR BASTARDS!!!

"And that is why we have no herbivores living today, children. Now, girls, run along to catechism class. Boys, report to the showers, Father Murphy is waiting for you."

[klr]

Let's not forget that Noah and sons were getting on a bit as well ...

[Deep Sea Isopod]

Let's not forget that Noah and sons were getting on a bit as well ...

Yes. Noah was 600 years old.So how old were his 7 sons? And why didn't they have kids?

[colubridae]

checked their bollocks and vages, put them on the ark and ticked them off the list.

Sorry to correct but the short form of vaginas is vags.

as in:-
"Do nuns have vags?"

[Pappa]

checked their bollocks and vages, put them on the ark and ticked them off the list.

Sorry to correct but the short form of vaginas is vags.

as in:-
"Do nuns have vags?"

I was wondering whether to write vagges, as that would be closer to how I's say it. How do you pronounce vags?

[Deep Sea Isopod]

God hates vags!

[Gawdzilla Sama]

God hates vags!

Ah, the Wetburro Baptist Church.