The Lolcat Bible

[Rum]

I stumbled on this very funny site earlier. Its a translation of the Bible , both old and new into lolcat language!

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Revelation_4

Here's more or less at random Revelations 4!


1 So, then I seez a big open heaven door. An teh invisible trumpet voice sez "C'mere. I noes whatz comin. Let me show you it."

2 Then, surprize Ghostee-entry! An I seez a dood on a fancy heaven chair.

3 The dood looked liek a shiny orange statchoo. An therr wuz a bootiful rainbow too.

4 All around teh fancy chair wuz lots moar littler fancy chairz wif old doodz on em. Teh doodz has white clothez and shiny crownz all on therr old headz.

5 Then therr wuz skeery lightninz and funderz an therr wuz 7 bukkits. Teh bukkits iz teh 7 kittehs of teh Ceiling Cat. Srsly.

6 Oh, also, therr wuz lotz of glass on teh floor. Therr wuz 4 aminuls wif all eyez everwherr.

7 Therr wuz a lion wif all eyez an a big cow wif all eyez an a dood wif all eyes an a eagul wif all eyez.

8 All them aminuls has 6 wingz an has all eyez everwherr. An all teh time they r sayin "Teh Ceiling Cat is so leet. Srsly."

9 An then, when teh aminuls sez stuff,

10 All teh old doodz fall down an worshipz teh orange statchoo dood. They takez off therr crownz an sez:

11 "Yr teh leetest, Ceiling Cat,
You can has glory an honor an power,
Cuz you pwn everthing
An you totally made em an stuff.
Srsly."

[Mung Bean]

And if Christianity is too mild for you there is also the lolcat Quran.

http://lolkoran.blogspot.com/

Wtf, thats not even funny, its just stupid.

It's a translation of the Quran. What did you expect?

[kiki5711]

And if Christianity is too mild for you there is also the lolcat Quran.

http://lolkoran.blogspot.com/

Wtf, thats not even funny, its just stupid.

It's a translation of the Quran. What did you expect?

I'm tired about hearing about Quaran!

If I had a choice between the Bible and the Qoran I;d choose the Bible.

[Mung Bean]

Well it is more interesting, if you can stomach either of them.

[Rum]

And if Christianity is too mild for you there is also the lolcat Quran.

http://lolkoran.blogspot.com/

Wtf, thats not even funny, its just stupid.

It's a translation of the Quran. What did you expect?

I'm tired about hearing about Quaran!

If I had a choice between the Bible and the Qoran I;d choose the Bible.

Which burns better?

[Mung Bean]

Napalm works wonders on both of them.

[Trolldor]

I'll see you a lolcat bible and raise you "The Brick Testament."

http://www.thebricktestament.com/

[Faithfree]

I'll see you a lolcat bible and raise you "The Brick Testament."

http://www.thebricktestament.com/

Ah, yes, my favourite bible.
http://www.thebricktestament.com/david_ ... 18_20.html

[Mung Bean]

Forgot about that one. The Brick testament totally rocks. Best bible ever.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Which burns better?

They gave us "pocket Testaments" in boot camp. Shortly we found out that the pages were perfect for rolling joints.

[hackenslash]

I love the lolcat bible. I went through a period a while back of countering every quotation from the babble with the same passage from there, because it shows how ridiculous it all is. Never really got on with the Brick Testament. Not sure why.

[Magicziggy]

Iz funny. I never knew.

Genesis 1

Ceiling Cat creats teh universes and stuffs
Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1

6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.

9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urth and waters oshun. Iz good.

11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. An a Corm. It happen.12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weedz.13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.

14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.....etc

If you know more important stuff like this, tell me. Don't make me find it for myself.

[Feck]

Mai very speshul miricle!

I wuz in mai chair and i wuz feelin reely reely icky bicky. I hadz a diseez: Oh noes! But i asked teh Ceiling Cat to save me reely nicely. I was laik "pleez" and "kthx" and everythings! Then i looked outs of teh windows and i saw teh sun shining on me. I wuz feeling Ceiling Cat lickin me clean. At the end I wuz all betta! Ceiling Cat maded my diseez goes away! Hu else could be invisible doctor?!?!?! Sow Ceiling Cat is reel, kthnxbai.

[Magicziggy]

Mai very speshul miricle!

I wuz in mai chair and i wuz feelin reely reely icky bicky. I hadz a diseez: Oh noes! But i asked teh Ceiling Cat to save me reely nicely. I was laik "pleez" and "kthx" and everythings! Then i looked outs of teh windows and i saw teh sun shining on me. I wuz feeling Ceiling Cat lickin me clean. At the end I wuz all betta! Ceiling Cat maded my diseez goes away! Hu else could be invisible doctor?!?!?! Sow Ceiling Cat is reel, kthnxbai.

No shit! Makes you think.

[mistermack]

What is it about Jews and foreskins?