If your deceased grandparents are watching you....

[Coito ergo sum]

...does that mean they've seen you....you know... and ?

...all the religious folk will have some 'splanin' to do, won't they?

[AshtonBlack]

My grandfather was a total arsehole to my dad, and if the faitheads are right, he'll be picking bits of coal embers out of his rectum, as we speak. However, my grandmother, was an atheist (and so is my dad), so again, I doubt it.

[Coito ergo sum]

My grandfather was a total arsehole to my dad, and if the faitheads are right, he'll be picking bits of coal embers out of his rectum, as we speak. However, my grandmother, was an atheist (and so is my dad), so again, I doubt it.

I get a chuckle out of it when people say, "he/she is watching over you" - or - "oh, they're here - I know they're here..."

Really?

Do they avert their eyes when we're taking a shit?

Do they watch helplessly as they see all the children being molested, spouses being beaten or cheated on, people being abused, and other crimes being committed? The army of ghosts and spirits must feel pretty helpless...

[Ameri Boi]

I think the things I've done would frighten my grandparents more than any fear I would feel by believing they're watching me do said things.

[rachelbean]

Well, evidently ghosts are perverts. They are always hanging out at the end of people's beds and such. I think if they wanted to avoid seeing such things maybe they would hang out in kitchens more often...not that it would protect them from this crowd

[Ian]

I used to actually wonder that about my grandmother who died when I was 8. It didn't make puberty too easy.
I was probably more religious when I was younger than I like to admit.

[Coito ergo sum]

Well, evidently ghosts are perverts. They are always hanging out at the end of people's beds and such. I think if they wanted to avoid seeing such things maybe they would hang out in kitchens more often...not that it would protect them from this crowd

Maybe that's like "ghost hell" - they are condemned, like in A Christmas Carol, to walk the Earth, only the reality is that they walk into the bedrooms and see people knocking boots, only to not even be able to so much as rub one out... the ghost tries to grab his Willy Johnson and his hand just goes right through it - it's just a spirit cock!

[cowiz]

I used to watch my grandparents fuck when they were alive, so it's only fair that they watch me now they are dead.

[owtth]

CREEPY SEXY ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Dawktor]

I'd like to think that my Nan would be proud of me at all times!

[Epictetus]

...does that mean they've seen you....you know... and ?

...all the religious folk will have some 'splanin' to do, won't they?

You bring up an interesting issue: the so-called "ubiquity" of god. I'm not so sure that the dearly departed are supposed to witness all our deeds, but god surely is. This is a very disturbing thought, however, because it means that we have this cosmic voyeur who sees absoutely everything: e.g. when I'm straining on a toilet, or when I'm getting to know someone in the Biblical sense. It also means that the eyes of the "Almighty" see the most horrific things imaginable (e.g. the sytematic torture and execution of millions of Jews during the Holocaust [and yes, I'm familiar with Godwin's Law]) and yet does nothing to stop them. Does he enjoy watching others suffer? Is it too much to ask of a supposedly omnipotent and loving god to intervene every now and then to put an end to the suffering of, say, children languishing in hospital beds? Of course theologians have long recognized this "problem of evil" and have offered many justifications for it (so-called theodicies). But I remain unconvinced and even a little offended by the lame arguments proffered by the devout which seek to exonerate the "Almighty."

[Coito ergo sum]

...does that mean they've seen you....you know... and ?

...all the religious folk will have some 'splanin' to do, won't they?

You bring up an interesting issue: the so-called "ubiquity" of god. I'm not so sure that the dearly departed are supposed to witness all our deeds, but god surely is. This is a very disturbing thought, however, because it means that we have this cosmic voyeur who sees absoutely everything: e.g. when I'm straining on a toilet, or when I'm getting to know someone in the Biblical sense. It also means that the eyes of the "Almighty" see the most horrific things imaginable (e.g. the sytematic torture and execution of millions of Jews during the Holocaust [and yes, I'm familiar with Godwin's Law]) and yet does nothing to stop them. Does he enjoy watching others suffer? Is it too much to ask of a supposedly omnipotent and loving god to intervene every now and then to put an end to the suffering of, say, children languishing in hospital beds? Of course theologians have long recognized this "problem of evil" and have offered many justifications for it (so-called theodicies). But I remain unconvinced and even a little offended by the lame arguments proffered by the devout which seek to exonerate the "Almighty."

Right now, god is watching, or about to watch, someone get murdered, someone get raped, a child molested (by a priest or otherwise), someone getting robbed, etc. And, if the ghost-believers are correct, then various ghosties of the dearly departed are watching similar things....and none of the after-life folks are doing anything to help.

Look at the stupid paranormal shows that are all the rage these days. They go into houses and measure the effects, supposedly, of the ghosts on the environment. Ghosts can make noises, bang things, slam doors, and even set fires and otherwise interact with the physical environment. Yet, we don't hear of outraged dearly departeds witnessing awful deeds and then trying to intervene. I mean, if old grandma May who was so loving and kind in life saw uncle Rupert diddling the 12 year old babysitter, wouldn't she start slamming doors, ringing phones and otherwise making a racket to try to protect the child? Wouldn't millions of good ghosts that are "watching over us" try to intervene in that way?

hmmmmm...

[Epictetus]

Right now, god is watching, or about to watch, someone get murdered, someone get raped, a child molested (by a priest or otherwise), someone getting robbed, etc. And, if the ghost-believers are correct, then various ghosties of the dearly departed are watching similar things....and none of the after-life folks are doing anything to help.

Look at the stupid paranormal shows that are all the rage these days. They go into houses and measure the effects, supposedly, of the ghosts on the environment. Ghosts can make noises, bang things, slam doors, and even set fires and otherwise interact with the physical environment. Yet, we don't hear of outraged dearly departeds witnessing awful deeds and then trying to intervene. I mean, if old grandma May who was so loving and kind in life saw uncle Rupert diddling the 12 year old babysitter, wouldn't she start slamming doors, ringing phones and otherwise making a racket to try to protect the child? Wouldn't millions of good ghosts that are "watching over us" try to intervene in that way?

You've obviously given this matter some thought. And therein lies the problem. When confronting the paranormal or things divine you must suspend all rational/logical/commonsensical thinking and simply believe. After all, to doubt is sin, to believe is, well, divine. You mustn't go about asking awkward questions, otherwise you imperil your immortal soul, which could very well end up in lovable Jesus' "fiery furnace".

[Jack Rawlinson]

If they watched me more than once then they're disgusting perverts, just like me. So that's cool.

[Reverend Blair]

Look at the stupid paranormal shows that are all the rage these days. They go into houses and measure the effects, supposedly, of the ghosts on the environment. Ghosts can make noises, bang things, slam doors, and even set fires and otherwise interact with the physical environment.

I keep wondering if I shouldn't become an exorcist. Conduct a fancy ritual of installing proper insulation and vapour barriers, fix the wiring, maybe new windows and doors, and the ghosts disappear.

If my deceased grandparents are watching me right now, I have a couple of things to say to them.

First of all, "Would you fucking relax already."
Second of all, "Where the hell are my keys?"