Say you met god after the rapture....?

[Svartalf]

I would ask him why he had to make my arse so fat

So you could sit more comfily on it my child

[Hermit]

...ONCE YOU WERE APES,
YET IRONICALLY MAN IS NOW MORE ‘APE’ THAN ANY OF THE APES...

Nietzsche

Is that what you would say? ...and if so, would you really say it in allcaps?

[Magnon]

Well he said it to us actually.

And when God speaks, he always does so in upper case.

Don't you know ANYTHING?

[Ironclad]

"I'll come with you, but only if you got beer, heavy metal & cigarettes" "Oh, and can I have skeletal bat-wings? Those dove-wings are a tad camp for my liking. Ta"

[Robert_S]

[JimC]

I would glare at him coldly (the glare that has shut up many a class of 15 year old boys, they are much tougher than a deity), tell him to sit down at the back, open his physics textbook, and start with Newtownian mechanics...

And no cheating by miracles, or else it's detention...

[Blackie]

Rock, paper scissors?

[devogue]

Well he said it to us actually.

And when God speaks, he always does so in upper case.

Don't you know ANYTHING?

Not when he's in Holy Spirit/Ghost form.

Then he speaks in a sort of whisper like this, with little Michael Jackson like woo hoos thrown in

[Cormac]

Apart from the stock Bertrand Russell answer?

Or, how about:

"Fuck off you cunt, now that the fundies are all gone we've got a shot at making things actually work on this planet."

Exactly.